Got a girls number...Now I feel like an idiot......

go buy a peter gabriel TAPE and a boombox. you know the drill.

I think she keeps doing this because she doesn't want to outright say she's not interested. I know she gave you her number and all, but she could have met someone she liked better the next night. Nothing you can really do now but wait and see. However, it is true, most girls are insane.

too many women out there to worry about one you don't really know that well. Just stop calling and texting. IF she makes contact great, if not find a new one.

As a great man once said - "there are a million of them and only one of me" - Kanye West.

Some people have trouble saying no.

Maybe she's embarrassed to tell you now that she's not interested since she was the one who offered her number. She hopes you'll just go away on your own. Not very mature of her, but you sound like you're both young.

Not pursuing her was the right thing to do. There are lots of other girls and she knows where to get in touch with you if she wants to.

And some people are just busy and not very considerate. I have a few friends who are chronic cancelers. I know better than to schedule my life around theirs.

Hu Lee Suks wrote:

go buy a peter gabriel TAPE and a boombox. you know the drill.

Well played.

Sorry I forgot to mention that she actually texted me twice asking if I was out. This happened on random weeknights but she could have been drunk. Maybe that's the reason for it all. Or maybe she has a boyfriend.

Either way I havent made contact in about a week or so.

Most of me feels like I'm better than that...but a little of me thinks I'm letting potential go. I think I may be inflating her just because she's playing hard to get. I just wish I knew the deal. I have a feeling I'm getting played like a fiddle. I think women secretly love this.

Give us a Hand wrote:

Sorry I forgot to mention that she actually texted me twice asking if I was out. This happened on random weeknights but she could have been drunk. Maybe that's the reason for it all. Or maybe she has a boyfriend.

Either way I havent made contact in about a week or so.

Most of me feels like I'm better than that...but a little of me thinks I'm letting potential go. I think I may be inflating her just because she's playing hard to get. I just wish I knew the deal. I have a feeling I'm getting played like a fiddle. I think women secretly love this.

yep. stop calling man...you've played your hand - if you're lucky you'll get a text one lonely night..

How long ago did she text you? If she hasn't even tried to contact you in a week, she's obviously not interested.

If you think you're letting potential go, be (a little bit) honest with her the way you've hoped she would be with you. Tell her that you're interested in seeing her again, but are tired of feeling strung along. Tell her that you'd like to take her for dinner this weekend, but that if she doesn't contact you to confirm plans or if she stands you up, you're going to take it as a final sign that she's not interested and you won't be contacting her again. And then don't contact her again. Ever.

And when she does text, say you can't come out, Then tell her to call you later that week. And when she calls, don't answer.

Move on.

"yep. stop calling man...you've played your hand - if you're lucky you'll get a text one lonely night.."

The only reason girls do this:

Low self-esteem.

Girls (well, anyone really) like it when someone is clearly into them, so they'll give out the number because it makes them feel good that some dude is into them. EVEN if they already have a great boyfriend. It's easier to give you the number and not return your calls then to not give you their number in the first place because then they wouldn't get that nice little self-esteem boost.

Doesn't means she's not immature and insecure, though.

I disagree, I think you have done enough to show your interest. Don't contact her again. She knows how to call you.

Give us a Hand wrote:

Sorry I forgot to mention that she actually texted me twice asking if I was out. This happened on random weeknights but she could have been drunk. Maybe that's the reason for it all. Or maybe she has a boyfriend.

Either way I havent made contact in about a week or so.

Most of me feels like I'm better than that...but a little of me thinks I'm letting potential go. I think I may be inflating her just because she's playing hard to get. I just wish I knew the deal. I have a feeling I'm getting played like a fiddle. I think women secretly love this.

Good god man! This is ONE girl, there are 150 million of them in this country alone.

If you try and make plans with a girl and she cancels, move on. If she wants something, SHE'LL make the plans next time. And if they fall through when she does it, then it's over, move on.

Who cares what the reason is? You have to get it through your head that girls are nuts and will do irrational things. If they do irrational things to you at the outset, then it's not going to get any better down the line.

All this handwringing and second/third/fourth guessing is ridiculous, and way too typical of many runners who frequent this board. You're putting this girl on a pedastal, when in reality, she's a crazy post-teen girl who doesn't know what the F she wants in her life (and neither do you.) So, keep going out and meeting other girls at bars, talk to girls after class, meet them in the library, at coffee shops etc.

By the way - here's my simple rule on meeting girls in a bar:

When you meet them and "make a connection" ask them to go to another bar/place with you. It doesn't matter if the bar you're at is the best bar in town - lie and go to a dive bar if you have to. If she comes with you, then consider calling her the next day. If she gives you her number, THROW IT AWAY.

Practice this and you'll easil separate the wheat from the chaff.

Give us a Hand wrote:

What is going on here?? Why are women crazy? Why would she give me her number....say she wants to meet up...then act like she doesnt???

Can a woman explain this situation to me???

I feel like I'm taking crazy pills...

Attention whore, she does it to all the guys and ends up with none in the end.

It's just another girl playing another stupid game. Dish it right back to them when they try this crap with you. It's easier - you basically ignore them - and tends to work - they like the idea of the untouchable man (it's why girls are attracted to men in relationships blah blah blah). Don't call her. She texts you again? Don't respond. Then, 3 days later, "Oh, just going through my texts and saw you sent me one the other night. Was out with my friend Kristin. Next time give a ring. I tend to answer calls better." Or some other equally non-interested shit like that. She's getting attention from you (you obviously texted her back) but you're doing it on your own terms and coming off less needy.

I haven't read most of the thread yet, so excuse me if I reiterate what others have said.

First off, what's with the texting anymore? I'm married and in a relationship that has been 7 years in the works so maybe I'm out of the whole "courting" scene but I'm only 27 and would like to think I'm not totally out of it.

I have a few buddies that spend some time at the bars thinking that this is the only way to meet woman. They end up taking a few home here and there but also get numbers and go through this same thing with texting on a weekly basis.

The text is a convenient way to communicate just enough so that if anything were to change, as it looks like in this case, then it is easier to just let it go. That's from the girls side of course. You are just getting strung along.

I've seen guys go through this same thing, week after week. It must give the girl time to sober up (over the next several days) and decide what to do.

By buddy does it this way: he always texts the night he meets the girl by asking the question, "Did you make it home alright?" So he sounds like a nice guy and it might just initiate some more conversation and then maybe a phone call, and maybe some after hours.

I've come to the conclusion whenever any of my friends are getting unanswered texts and zero responses from voicemails then its time to move on and find another one.

You don't want to be like my other friend that goes through this with a few texts, some voicemails, and then some drunk calls with the grand finale of breaking up with the girl on her voicemail. This is before getting a chance to even talk to her.

Typical busy bar person. I do that all the time. When you have 20 different people you could meet up on any given day, it's tough to coordinate.

Essentially your best chance is to wait for her to text you asking if you're out - and then go out even if you're not out.

Obviously she wants to meet up, but not enough to make it a priority. This should tell you something. Handle this in a casual "I'm going to try to have sex with you as soon as possible" manner.

I agree with a lot of what has been said, you did your thing, she didn't respond so let it go.

If you're an optimistic person, look at it this way:

As they said in 40 year old virigin, the seed has been planted, now let it grow and next time you see her at the bars F*** the plant!

yetanotherchick wrote:

If you think you're letting potential go, be (a little bit) honest with her the way you've hoped she would be with you. Tell her that you're interested in seeing her again, but are tired of feeling strung along. Tell her that you'd like to take her for dinner this weekend, but that if she doesn't contact you to confirm plans or if she stands you up, you're going to take it as a final sign that she's not interested and you won't be contacting her again. And then don't contact her again. Ever.

I know you're a girl and giving one girl's perspective on things, but as a guy who has 15 years of dating experience, this is about the WORST thing that you could possibly do. Do NOT be confrontational. You gave it a good effort and the ball is in her court. My guess is that she's young and wants to be in casual relationships, so you have to play cool. If you guys happen to cross paths at a bar again, maybe good things will happen, maybe they won't. Don't put all your eggs in one basket either. At your age you should be working on multiple "projects".....

Well, I and many others originally told the OP that she's not interested. If he were smart, he'd forget about her and find other women. But he still seems unwilling to give up, so he might as well lay it out there. They don't have mutual friends, so the worst that can happen is that she lets him know definitively that she's not interested. Sometimes when you get really hung up on an infatuation, you need it knocked it out of your head firmly.