don't do it. an old love called me 2 weeks before he was to get married, just to see if "there was a chance." there wasn't. my thoughts were "well, that marriage isn't going to work out . . . or at least it's probably not a solid union." i was kind of angry and felt really badly for his wife-to-be. he called again a few years later, still married and with one child. makes me really sad, and he put me in a really uncomfortable position. don't do it. it's not fair to the ex, and most definitely not good for your relationship with your wife.