I have taken upon myself the duty of helping Mr. Hall slice those next few crucial minutes off of his marathon time, in order to defeat those pesky Kenyans in the next Olympic Marathon. Here are a few pointers, which I am sure will help propel Mr. Hall into the upper echelon of World Marathoners.
1-Wear a nose strip. Galen loves to wear those things, not only do they allow the maximum amount of oxygen into the body, but if were Mr. Hall to fall asleep during the race, he would not embarrass himself in front of the ladies by snoring quite loudly.
2-Wear a singlet that fits. Although they are fifty to seventy five percent cheaper at Big and Tall stores throughout the nation, Mr. Hall may want to invest in a singlet that actually fits, rather than continue to run marathons in what appears to be a Mumu. Choosing a singlet that fits would have cut off an estimated 8 minutes and 17.7 seconds from his previous time.
3-Train in two sweatsuits. An oldie but a goodie.
4-Hire Fran Drescher to cheer you on from a golf cart during all of your training runs. Not only will her voice stimulate great amounts of speed, but her status as a C rate celebrity will bring much needed attention to our sport.
...more to come