Ever Convinced Your Ex to Give the Relationship Another Shot?

Just been through this old thing.

Got the chop, there were good reasons for it but its easy to cocoon yourself away and deny the obvious. Did my best to sort it out but admitted defeat and moved on. 2 months later meet a new chick, the ex hears about it and suddenly she wants me back and is willing to be flexible on all the problem issues (i would basically get everything I want in return for being with her).

Can't see how that would work and I almost feel grateful to her now for ending it because I should have ended it myself but wouldn't have had the balls. Why would things be any different now? - you both need to be happy in the relationship for it to work and that wasn't going to be possible for us.

So make sure you understand why things ended in the first place and understand whether these issues can be successfully resolved. And try not to think with you dick.

Shouldn't be too hard, since I don't have one. (SO hilarious that everyone assumes posters are dudes unless they have "girl" or "chick" in their name.) I don't mean to sound like a smart ass, though -- the advice is welcome, in any case.

Broke up with my gf of 5 years after returning from a year overseas and finding out she had been sleeping with another woman. We had zero contact for the next three years.

We got back in touch as her same sex relationship (they had moved in together) was dissintegrating. Very gradually, we started seeing eachother. At this point we lived in neighboring states but several hours apart. Eventually, we took the leap and got back together.

We've now been married almost five years, have two beautiful children and feel incredibly fortunate how it all turned out.

Can't say any of this was easy. Heart wrenching in all directions, actually. But we came out the other end much closer, much more in love and infinately more mature.

Are chances may have been 1 in 100, but it proves it can happen ... assuming it was meant to happen.

Ex-girlfriends are one thing ex-wives another. Renewing a dating relationship is a lot easier that undivorcing. Renewing dating relationships that never developed sexually easier still. Live-in lovers moves you relationship closer to married. Each couple is different and there is no onesize fitsall solution.. My First XW and I danced around getting together again about 10-12 years after-BUT- parts of the relationship that suffered during our very amicable parting- the what did we do wrong-why didn't we see x as an issue before we married, ego, and the once burned twice shy ideas that lingered were too hard to overcome. We did find out we still loved each other in a special way-- she discribed it as brother/sister with benefits(without the taboo connotation). We have remained close while in other relationships in a brother sister support way with no sexual tension. I would suspect our type of relationship is very,very rare but even it's uniqueness could not make the original whole again.

To explore this renewed attraction might be a good thing but looking to get right back into a planning the future together relationship might be. Talk about it and see if the idea of renewing dating floats both your boats. If so- go for it...I know we had a wonderful 5-6 months seeing if we still fit!!!

Life is full of choices and I've found it my 60+ years it's the ones you avoid making that comeback to haunt you not the ones you made.

Good luck!

PS if you do hookup avoid the temptation to show off all the new sex tricks you have picked up during the first 4 minutes!!!!

Guys, look. If a relationship ends, then accept that she's not the one for you. Hold your head up high and ride off in to the sunset. The one for you is out there searching for you. Your paths will cross.

However, they will NOT cross if you're wasting your time on a dead relationship. Have some self esteem and move on.

When Pigs Fly wrote:

Guys, look. If a relationship ends, then accept that she's not the one for you. Hold your head up high and ride off in to the sunset. The one for you is out there searching for you. Your paths will cross.

However, they will NOT cross if you're wasting your time on a dead relationship. Have some self esteem and move on.

I agree. Also, what has worked for me in the past is a "3-week rule." I use this in break-ups as well as when meeting someone new. If you don't have a date, fool around, etc. in the 3 weeks after a break-up, then your ex is truly over you. If you don't have a date, fool around, etc. in 3 weeks after meeting a new girl, she either has or will soon label you as a friend.

In short, once 3 weeks has gone by, if things aren't going in the right direction, I just sever contact and move on.

This Requires Some Reflection wrote:

Shouldn't be too hard, since I don't have one. (SO hilarious that everyone assumes posters are dudes unless they have "girl" or "chick" in their name.) I don't mean to sound like a smart ass, though -- the advice is welcome, in any case.

Reply was to the OP but point taken!! All the best...

Anomaly, aren't you a little uneasy that she will someday want to return to the other side....if you know what I mean.