Ever Convinced Your Ex to Give the Relationship Another Shot?

Do you really want to get back together with her or do you just want to get in her pants?

What was the cause/causes of your breakup? Is there any reason to believe that these issues won't still exist?

You can't just have sex with your roommate instead?

Harry Kooter wrote:

What was the cause/causes of your breakup? Is there any reason to believe that these issues won't still exist?

That's what I was about to ask. They always say "if you love someone, set them free, etc....", and I've always believed that as well. But if it was an ugly breakup and one was cheating on the other it can be hard to rebuild trust. I'm sure the time apart has been good for both of you, so if there isn't anything standing in the way I don't see why you couldn't give it another shot. I need more info though.

You are LIVING with a chick.

I think that may present a problem.

1. She's just a roommate (NO physical attraction whatsoever)

2. We dated earlier in our college years and while the relationship became serious, we parted because we were headed in different directions. Now we find ourselves in a similar location, a couple years down the road and I can't help but wonder if time and maturity have removed the problems we encountered.

Flame away Let'srunners, flame away.

why don't you stop being such a fruitcake and just do both of them at the same time, and make them like it.

If you have to talk her into it, it probably isn't going to work.

But my wife and I broke up three times back when we were still dating, and we've now been married for 26 happy years.

When we got back together, though, it wasn't a matter of one convincing the other. It was a matter of we both recognized the chemistry was still there, and that our prior breakups had been pretty silly.

If the ONLY reason that you broke up before was because you were headed in different directions, why not try again?

But first be sure that you're heading in the same direction now (staying in the area, non-conflicting career plans, etc.) and not just crossing paths on the way to different things.

I've done the whole getting-back-with-an-ex thing. I broke up with her before I went off to college, then just recently got back together.

We parted amicably and recognized that the same chemistry still remained. I'd say bring up the idea, but if she's not down, there's nothing worse than being whiny about it. Just let it be.

Wondering the same thing myself, though I'm only 6 weeks out. Definitely still chemistry, but obviously there were reasons for the break up in the first place (the other person's reasons, that is). So the advice is "don't be whiny" -- okay, fine. But there's got to be a way to make the other person want you back without sacrificing your dignity, no?

The truth wrote:

When we got back together, though, it wasn't a matter of one convincing the other.

Bingo. Paul, I think you're in good shape man. Don't press the issue of getting back together, but definitely let her know that it's good to see her, and that you'd like to hang out sometime. Breaks are often a good thing for relationships, and in your case it sounds like no one was hurt from the relationship.

Boston Query wrote:

But there's got to be a way to make the other person want you back without sacrificing your dignity, no?

Boston Query wrote:

But there's got to be a way to make the other person want you back without sacrificing your dignity, no?

Be a stud. Be the guy she liked in the first place. Focus on your good qualities, and don't be negative. Set a few jealousy traps too if you can.

Hmm, tried the jealousy trap... that backfired last time. Accentuate the positive, sure -- and hope that it drowns out the negative memories, I guess? I don't have a whole lot of negative, but the other person definitely does. Guess it's a question of how much they remember (or how much they're willing to forget!).

Bump... let's hear some more strategies for getting 'em back while keeping your dignity!

Let's go -- some of us are dying here...

Wow, the constructive responses are quite shocking. A few things to consider...

What was the reason you broke up?

What is the basis for getting back together?

If the first question can be overcome and the second question can be answered honestly, then go aheead. My point... is it just a residual attraction? Or do you have a basis to build a relationship? Not that eithe one is wrong... I just want you to think about it. Are the previous issues still present? Only you can answer these questions.

no; I decided my time would be better spent doing 2 a day workouts and seeing 'just how good' a runner I could become.