People who post on letsrun don't have sex.
Teg doesn't run 10Ks.
Wake up people.
People who post on letsrun don't have sex.
Teg doesn't run 10Ks.
Wake up people.
Is it safe to assume, if my wife who once had a voracious sexual appetite but now doesn't seem to care, is just masturbating more? I read a short story about a woman who discovered a vibrator in midlife and concluded no man alive can compete with a vibrator in the hands of someone who knows their body well, and that a husband/BF just becomes a source of companionship and security. So if she isnt' depressed/sufferring from body image problems/totally exhausted etc I must assume sexual desire is still there but perhaps being relieved in some other manner? I haven't ever seen a vibrator or other sex toy in our house but then again I dont' go snooping nor would I ever ask.
that depends. when your wife has a voracious sexual appetite, was she initiating the sex, were you, or was it pretty even?
women want to have sex but can live for a long time without feeling deprived if everything else in the relationship is going fine. i could be wrong here but it's not a physical release like it is for guys so it may be soemthing other than a vibrator.
i suspect my husband thinks i've lost my appetite. i used to initiate all the time since i knew it he was kind of shy. i figured that after a while he would loosen up and start reciprocating but he didn't so now we don't have sex. it doesn't turn me on to initiate it anymore. i bring it up and it always comes back to something that's my problem.
the reality of it is that women want to be wanted. if guys don't let us know we are desirable or that something about us makes them want to have sex with us then sex isn't going to happen very often - hence the shutoff.
Ok, thx for the reply. Yes it was always here initiating, pretty much hundred per cent. I have initiated some but when I do its not the same as before--kinda like she allows it to happen, does the things I like but doesnt try to get off herself. Its only when she initiates that she gets off and that happens at most once or twice a month. there is an element of fatigue at play with young kids but back before we had kids that was present at well, just that it was fatigue from staying up late, working out more, she worked etc etc so not like she was super rested back then either
(my answer here> wrote:
there is an element of fatigue at play with young kids but back before we had kids that was present at well, just that it was fatigue from staying up late, working out more, she worked etc etc so not like she was super rested back then either
I have not read every post on this thread, so the fatigue issue may have been touched on previously, but I've found that I (a female who works, raises kids, etc.) have a much better experience with sex if I can get a couple of hours of sleep in the evening before we go at it. My husband works late hours, so if I can crash by around 9:00 p.m. after last kid is in bed, and sleep for 2-3 hours, I'm very receptive to a tap on the shoulder around midnight for some fun when my husband gets home. Then I can happily slip back into dreamland for another 5-6 hour snooze before I have to get up for work. I also love coming out of a dreamy sleep state in the middle of the night to the kisses and caresses.
Just a suggestion for tired moms.
I wasn't talking about tatoos, MATE.
Good on ya.
Some advice to those who are frustrated.
If you don't feel comfortable or close enough with your wife to ask her about her use of a vibrator then maybe that's most of your problem.
wporu309 wrote:
If you don't feel comfortable or close enough with your wife to ask her about her use of a vibrator then maybe that's most of your problem.
along the same lines....anything done together in a relationship is probably going to be good. If the woman is using a vibrator you should express to her that using sexual aids together can be a very rewarding experience.
No, just because she is shutting you off doesn't mean she is using the vibe. Many women can just go without. Their sex drive can change suddenly for seemingly no reason.
wporu309 wrote:
If you don't feel comfortable or close enough with your wife to ask her about her use of a vibrator then maybe that's most of your problem.
I respect her rights to privacy as she does mine. I do not believe the GREATER ASPECTS of marital health (not talking so much about the sexual aspects) are enhanced by having EVERYTHING OUT THERE. I know some couples who know what each others bowel habits and masturbation methods are and I dont' see these being more well adjusted than the two of us.
She's never asked me how often I'm doing it alone or if I do at all, so you propose I just walk up one day and blurt out the question to her?
Valentine's Day is about a month off, LETSRUN Posters. Plan your day with the one(s) you love.
If you are not happy with your sex life, then yes, having a frank talk with her about it could definitely help. If the other aspects of your marital health are in such great shape that it is more than compensation for the low amount of sex then don't bother. Don't have to go blurting out that question right off the bat but it will come up eventually if the two of you are wanting to work towards a healthier sex life.
wrote:
wporu309 wrote:If you don't feel comfortable or close enough with your wife to ask her about her use of a vibrator then maybe that's most of your problem.
I respect her rights to privacy as she does mine. I do not believe the GREATER ASPECTS of marital health (not talking so much about the sexual aspects) are enhanced by having EVERYTHING OUT THERE. I know some couples who know what each others bowel habits and masturbation methods are and I dont' see these being more well adjusted than the two of us.
She's never asked me how often I'm doing it alone or if I do at all, so you propose I just walk up one day and blurt out the question to her?
Dear "a chick",
Why do men think they are entitled to sex? It's simple, sex is part of the marriage contract. If your partner refuses to have sex, it's grounds for divorce.
Yep, that's the real kicker of the entire situation: You get married and take a vow not to cheat on your wife. She controls the amount of sex you are going to get. If you're not getting enough, what are your options?
(1) Be miserable.
(2) Find it elsewhere and risk ruining your current marriage.
I have kids and I truly love my wife. But the whole lack of sex thing is killing me. I've thought a lot lately about trying to set up something on the side, but at the same time I don't want to be selfish and take a chance on ruining what I've got at home. Some days I feel like I'd jump at the chance to hook up with someone, others I feel like I need to grow up and get myself under control.
I've talked this through with my wife, to a certain extent anyway. We had a very long, civil conversation about it and she truly understands it from my point of view. However, nothing changed. Her solution? If you're not happy, go ahead and start nailing someone on the side. The thing is, I know she is saying that and feels like she means it, but I also know that if I did she would not feel the same way.
jeezus, what are you 80 years old? Do you sleep in seperate beds a la i love lucy on tv?you won't ask your wife about a vibrator?Wow, loosen up bud. Maybe, just maybe you might be able to enjoy the vibrator together and it may lead to other things.
wrote:
wporu309 wrote:If you don't feel comfortable or close enough with your wife to ask her about her use of a vibrator then maybe that's most of your problem.
I respect her rights to privacy as she does mine. I do not believe the GREATER ASPECTS of marital health (not talking so much about the sexual aspects) are enhanced by having EVERYTHING OUT THERE. I know some couples who know what each others bowel habits and masturbation methods are and I dont' see these being more well adjusted than the two of us.
She's never asked me how often I'm doing it alone or if I do at all, so you propose I just walk up one day and blurt out the question to her?
Becareful of a Wife that actually encourages you to bang other women. My now ex-wife tried to encourage me to bone one of her friends. I didn't. It turns out my now ex-wife had someone on the side and was trying to either get over her guilt or make me the bad guy/cheater to justify a divorce. Be real careful of her motives. There are no better liars then women.
LIfe's short....Hire a Hooker!
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