I've been in the transfer portal for a few months no luck, leaving a great team and program to potentially end up not even being able to continue running at the colligate level. Genuinely at a loss for words and unsure how I should go about this.
I currently run for a pretty decent out of state D1 program, we aren't a Power 5 school but one of the top 10 performing in our region for Cross. My time here has been a little rocky, ran decent frosh year in cross mid 25s 8k and a current soph . I am almost definitely transferring to a big state school for financial reasons and to be closer to home, they are a very low end Power 5 that tried recruiting me in high school and I said no, now they won't answer me when I tell them i'm interested in walking on. Definitely was not anything crazy in high school sub 4:25 mile and won a few big cross races, plenty would say given my situation I should hang em up. But the reality is I love running, it's all I think about and all that keeps me going tbh.
Some background on my injuries, I got my first stress reaction in the femur November frosh year after fall xc. Was out awhile but was able to come back healthy by spring, not race, but still train decently. I then got another stress reaction in the femur once again July 2023, this one was bad near stress fracture, didn't start running till December where I only was able to run for 2 weeks until I got another stress reaction in the femur, I honestly would not be shocked if there is also a stress reaction in my left knee too because it's been bothering me since December and I have no got an answer what it could be. I have been trying to start running up again on the boost treadmill a couple times but can't get through 20 mins at 8:00 pace 60% BW without pain.
Did not have this issue in high school, if I had to guess what it can be from I can only assume a few things the training here (not milage I do 55-65 mpw when healthy but v fast paces we slam runs around 6:15 pace, do not lift at all either so I do a lifting routine from high school v light weight). Also diet, had a slight ED and would not eat enough calories which could have caused it, also not sleeping enough, and taking 20mg of accutane daily.
The fact is I love running, so much. I may not be the greatest out there but I've been so committed not racing for a year and a half. Haven't done a workout since November 2022, and it really just breaks my heart that with transferring to a bigger state school with a subpar xc team that does not want me I will realistically not be able to compete with a team anymore. My plan is train with a club and run races unattached praying for a walk on spot. But even that seems iffy with coaches saying you need to run 4:10 for a team where half the guys can't run under 26 in xc. I don't know I can go about these stress reactions in the meantime, and even my coaches and trainers don't know what I can do either, taking runs easier is a given. Going to be a junior in the fall, and doing grad school in a couple years at this state school.
Any advice on how I should handle this situation?