Broke up with my girlfriend with a victim mindset... Would like some input

Try some bussy

If a relationship really is strong enough to be long term, there shouldn’t be consistent insecurity on either side of the relationship.

if you aren’t sure whether or not you should end a relationship, 9/10 times you should probably end it. I dated a girl who was later diagnosed with BPD (bless her heart, we are on good terms now) and she was extremely manipulative and emotionally abusive, it was her first serious relationship and just didn’t have the emotional maturity or capability due to her untreated mental condition to communicate properly or treat me fairly. I had a really hard time making the decision but I broke up with her, she got suicidal ideation (BPD can cause upsetting events like this to quickly deteriorate ones mental state to this level, I thought this was a ploy to get me to take her back but now I genuinely feel like she felt the way she claimed she did) so I got back with her, and it was a big mistake. Same behavior^2 because she knew that she had me hooked.

Shes a much better person than this post makes it out to be, she was just very mentally ill at the time and I’m sure it had the same type of effect on the relationship dynamic that your ex had on yours. If even part of you wants out of a relationship you need to pay some serious thought to that. The relationships I’ve had that were good always had me feeling like my SOs were imperfectly perfect, and that I loved/appreciated everything about them and our relationship.

wow, your life must be dull if you need to dredge this clunker back up

0.5/10

Way too many girls out there for that. Let that go and move on.

The push to keep everyone feeling safe and comfortable in the immediate term is horrendous for some people. You can't protect them forever, and eventually it results in a lack of accountability.

I don't think you really need input. You got out of there. Well done. Trying to rationalise it to her was folly, but understandable.

literally nobody cares about you and your dumb girlfriend if she’s even real. Didn’t read your r******* post. Wild move to make 2 threads about this and link to that at the beginning. Why not just respond in your thread that nobody cared about?

Sounds like you dodged a bullet. But also, and I’m trying to help you here, please find friends irl to vent to. It’s so much more satisfying/validating than letsrun. Just ask jamin.

You may not have meant to, but what ever you said, she received as you were trashing her. (I believe, based on your posts, you probably were.) On the bright side, although this breakup was painful it really was the best thing for everyone. The two of you were not good for each other.

Move on.

If you can’t break up with your gf without starting a thread here maybe you’re not emotionally ready to have a relationship

She would be perfect for Jamin. They could both spend hours complaining and posting about how bad things are and how they are treated unfairly. There would be so much to discuss, housing prices, Fauci, pending recession, not being able to find dates, Biden, inflation restarting.......they would be soulmates. True love might occur!

Good job, you got out of this.

Now take a nice little break and move on.

You made the right call. Don't feel bad about this, man. Maybe this was the thing she needed to realize things need to change. But I would def say, don't talk to her anymore and don't try to help her. You two are done now. A S.O. is not meant to be an emotional crutch for one person in the relationship. You needed to get out of there so you can move on to better things.

You had input, but you broke up with her

Been there. A former GF, was always p'ved that someone else was making more money than her. She felt because she went to college , she should by all rights be making more money than those that did not. Not to mention, she always felt that I was paying more attention to female runners at myrace, than her. She drove me away. The constant whining and "woe is me" ...it got tiresome.

As years have gone by, I have come to the conclusion that those people will never change. Anyone with one of these whiners, get away, and don't look back.

I think you did the right thing OP. It sounds like this woman had bipolar tendencies or could possibly be developing bipolar disorder. Unfortunately, that is something that never gets better.

Honestly this post makes me think you have a victim mindset. I can't quite articulate it but I just get the feeling.

Dude, you feel bad because you are a good person, but you did the right thing, and you shouldn't feel bad about it for long. You can't stay with a hot mess like that just because she will feel bad when you dump her. She needs to get her sh!t together before dating again. You dodged a bullet. Good for you.

1) So, did the people you had the relationships with die, or did they break up with you? If YOU broke up with them, then I guess there was something about them that you did not want to deal with anymore.

2) There's a difference between being imperfectly perfect and being a hot mess. If the OP's description of her is anywhere close to accurate, she's a hot mess, and there's nothing perfect about her...not even imperfectly.

3) He did the right thing there. Life is too short to deal with such nonsense.

Breaking up is difficult and emotional, but it's always better to cut someone loose once you see the writing on the wall.