Running after ED recovery

If you're serious then you should focus on getting to a healthy weight for you first and then resume full training. If you want to train and run, then you're going to have to take responsibility of being at a healthy weight.

You want to throw any goals with running out the window and focus solely on your health.

I’ve battled and came to running after exiting inpatient work in ED recovery. With the intent of going back, but as I become more involved in running I knew that I had to eat and fuel myself to become better in health, mind, and running.

You’re just now getting out of that ‘recovery’ (ps. You’re never recovered when once diagnosed) but shouldn’t focus on that. Don’t load up on sugary crap, but don’t deprive yourself either. Eat normal, make your day normal, make your life back to normal. Then, you can start to prioritize your sport.

Your focus is on yourself first, and just getting back to a steady flow of life before you consider running

AverageForFun wrote:

You want to throw any goals with running out the window and focus solely on your health.

I’ve battled and came to running after exiting inpatient work in ED recovery. With the intent of going back, but as I become more involved in running I knew that I had to eat and fuel myself to become better in health, mind, and running.

You’re just now getting out of that ‘recovery’ (ps. You’re never recovered when once diagnosed) but shouldn’t focus on that. Don’t load up on sugary crap, but don’t deprive yourself either. Eat normal, make your day normal, make your life back to normal. Then, you can start to prioritize your sport.

Your focus is on yourself first, and just getting back to a steady flow of life before you consider running

Thank you SO much. To clarify, I'm actually at the start of these 2-3 weeks now and just beginning recovery. So - sugary crap still? I guess I can't change the doctors' minds lol what do you think?

Anonymous15 wrote:

when I return to running after 2-3 weeks of recovery (mine involves eating a load of sugary crap and carbs and chips), what will it feel like? fat and slow? No PRs? I was hoping to sub-20 5k this season but it's looking less possible. my runner's heart is broken help ;(

(Stats: 5'5.5'', 107 lbs, 15.5 yrs, female, been running for abt 1.5 yrs, mile time is abt 5:55, I love xc)

Also I honestly do NOT look skinny but I'm diagnosed w anorexia but its so not true!!!!!!!! i eat A LOT

I have a ton of empathy for you. I struggle with anxiety over things running-related, sometimes including my weight. I have to learn how to love and accept myself and my body for what it is. I truly empathize with you. I am not a female so I can't help you with some of the related issues they have, but maybe some of the female runners here may have useful advice. I'm sorry I can't help you more, but I wish you the best in dealing with this.

Sugar crap isn’t sugary crap. It’s just food, think of it as part of a larger spectrum that you need to relearn like someone has to relearn how to play a sport or subject as a kid. They’re feeding you more than you’d like because you’re underweight and malnourished. It’s easier to get more calories in some of those foods than others, and your mind is also misconstrued with food and perception as well. Things will change as time goes on.

Listen to your doctor. They’re your expert in this situation, not you. They get paid very well to see you survive but they feel even better to see you thrive.

Recovering now will help you to have a much better running career in the long term. You will feel fine returning to running as long as you don't rush back into it. Once you rebuild your base, you don't need to worry about feeling "fat and slow," but that's a normal way to feel coming back to running regardless of your size. Be patient, focus on recovery, but know that you will certainly be able to PR after significant weight gain.

Anonymous15 wrote:

when I return to running after 2-3 weeks of recovery (mine involves eating a load of sugary crap and carbs and chips), what will it feel like? fat and slow? No PRs? I was hoping to sub-20 5k this season but it's looking less possible. my runner's heart is broken help ;(

(Stats: 5'5.5'', 107 lbs, 15.5 yrs, female, been running for abt 1.5 yrs, mile time is abt 5:55, I love xc)

Also I honestly do NOT look skinny but I'm diagnosed w anorexia but its so not true!!!!!!!! i eat A LOT

When I looked at the title of the thread I thought it was about Erectile Dysfunction! LOL!

Anonymous15 wrote:

when I return to running after 2-3 weeks of recovery (mine involves eating a load of sugary crap and carbs and chips), what will it feel like? fat and slow? No PRs? I was hoping to sub-20 5k this season but it's looking less possible. my runner's heart is broken help ;(

(Stats: 5'5.5'', 107 lbs, 15.5 yrs, female, been running for abt 1.5 yrs, mile time is abt 5:55, I love xc)

Also I honestly do NOT look skinny but I'm diagnosed w anorexia but its so not true!!!!!!!! i eat A LOT

This may not be what you want to hear, but forget about running right now. It's not important. The important thing is that you get healthy, physically, but more so mentally. Yes, you can get back to running, and you can use that as a motivator in your recovery, but you really shouldn't be thinking about running goals right now. Your one and only goal right now should be to get healthy.

If you're not already in therapy, get there. It made a world of difference for me. A good counselor or therapist will see things in you that you don't even see in yourself - trust me! I have no idea where you are spiritually (if anywhere), but prayer became a lifeline for me. I'm serious.

A bit more about my story, realizing it's atypical. I'm a male. In my mid 20s, I was training for a marathon and lost a little weight without making a conscious effort, just from the increased running volume. I got faster and thought, if a little weight loss is good, then a lot must be great. I got obsessed. I was starving myself trying to take off that extra pound or two.

Well, you can only go around starving yourself for so long, especially when you're trying to run a lot, so that led to the occasional binge. I would hate myself SO MUCH that I'd starve myself even more strictly and exercise even more to try to "make up" for my binge. Then I discovered self-induced vomiting to "undo" my last binge. If you haven't done this, I beg you, PLEASE DON'T! It might seem like a solution, but it will only make the problem worse, allowing you to binge harder the next time, and the pendulum will swing further and further each time. I knew it was slowly killing me, so I got myself into therapy and began a rehab program.

People are going to give you diet advice: eat this, don't eat that. That misses the point. You need to address your mental and emotional issues, and that takes time and professional help.

I want you to know that real progress is possible. I am living proof. I still have some weird food issues and probably always will, but now I have the tools to deal with them and not let them ruin my life. And yes, I am running again. I've actually run 2 marathons after my ED and am looking forward to more. Life CAN be good again, but it's going to take some time and dedicated work. You can get there.

Again, I have no idea where you are spiritually, but I just prayed for you. Even if you don't believe in that kind of thing, I hope it at least brings you some comfort that people do care.

Wow thank you SO much. I don't look slim like a lot of ppl w anorexia so I'm really annoyed, Im larger than most girls in my class and recovery program. Do you think that i should still be doing this program? Im thinking of running away i hate it :( Thank you so so so much for praying

Anonymous15 wrote:

Wow thank you SO much. I don't look slim like a lot of ppl w anorexia so I'm really annoyed, Im larger than most girls in my class and recovery program. Do you think that i should still be doing this program? Im thinking of running away i hate it :( Thank you so so so much for praying

Please stop comparing yourself to others; that only perpetuates the problem.

I have no idea what your program is like, so I can't say if you should stay in it. I "hated" certain aspects of my recovery because it challenged me and made me uncomfortable. Any program that grows you is going to challenge you. Don't run away because of that. To use a running analogy, a tough workout is painful at the time, but it makes you better. Recovery is the same. Whatever particular program you use, DON'T QUIT! It will be worth it. Really commit to it, even when it is uncomfortable.

If you are a Christian, or at least open to the idea of Christianity, this is a resource that has been invaluable to me:

I still read my copy every day. It is underlined, highlighted, dog-eared, and well worn.

You can check out the program's website, and maybe find a group that meets near you.

Once again, I am hoping and praying all the best for you. Even if you don't buy into the whole Christian thing, just keep working at recovery. The process is difficult, but it is worth it. You are worth it. Keep trying.

Good post Average.

Nice to see serious, honest, uplifting replies to the original poster. Fight the negativity, and I mean this with no sarcasm or irony.

I agree with a previous poster who said it is nice to see encouraging responses to this. As a former serious runner who struggled with an ED for many, many years, I echo what others have said: focus on your recovery. Running will be there on the other side. In fact, use running as motivation to recover! If you are fueling your body properly (with an "all foods fit" mentality), you will recover more quickly and likely get injured less. Take this time to think about your life values - what matters to you and your "why" for being here - and make choices that move you in that direction. If you truly value running, you have to treat your body with compassion and respect. Learn all of the coping skills you can in recovery and *practice* using them! You CAN do this. I would also separate out what is your ED voice from your healthy voice . . . that can help with managing the thoughts/anxiety around food and with managing body comparisons. You get ONE body.

EDs are brutal illnesses and they take *hard* work, patience, and commitment to recover from. I would throw out the scale at home (it sounds like you are being medically monitored to stabilize your weight/health) and focus on health, a good relationship with food, and eating intuitively (when you regain interoceptive awareness). I ran all of my PRs when I was weight restored, and that is not a unique story . . . I know a lot of recovered runners who ran their fastest times when they were fueling their bodies and not focused on being "skinny"

What's your albumin level? It could indicate protein calorie malnutrition.

Erectile dysfunction?

good to see positivity on LRC wrote:

Good post Average.

Nice to see serious, honest, uplifting replies to the original poster. Fight the negativity, and I mean this with no sarcasm or irony.

Eating Disorders are hell. I’ve cycled through anorexia and anorexia nervosa three times in the last three years. Twice accidental with increased running mileage and limited access to food, the first was intentional.

Anorexia and eating disorders are a lot like the marathon, they’re a slow and killing burn that gives the same satisfaction sometimes as seeing yourself mail each mile split to the end of 26.2. The only difference is one leaves your legs dead and the other you dead.

Just try to make things back to ‘normal’ whatever that looks like for you. You can run, but you shouldn’t do anything that has a goal other than have fun. You’re in recovery, that can last years until you feel ready to move on to the next stage of your life.

A great way to break the mindset is to incorporate ‘cheat meals’ and I only call it that because I don’t know what else to call it.Eat like a normal, health cautious young adult but once or twice a week incorporate something that you wouldn’t normally eat. Guess what? You’ll still live and be loved the next day.

Ate a salad for dinner with chicken on Friday before a home football game? I’d have the brand new Mt. Dew as a kid. Was I terrified of 300 calories of pure sugar? Yes, and I would be until Saturday morning. Turns out, I wasn’t obese, I was still loved, and I could still love myself.

You have to relearn normal, that takes time. I would also recommend a food or meal ticker you can set up to remind you to eat and download the app Record Recovery. You can add your ED team on it to monitor and track your day and self.

Highly recommend you read through Amelia Boone's blogs on this subject. She's much older than you but been dealing with an eating disorder since high school and it's taken its toll, which is sad. She's written a fair amount about it since 2019. Good luck - i've been there and it sucks.

http://www.ameliabooneracing.com/blog/uncategorized/therecoveryineeded/

This might be a good read

“Your long-term health is more important than running a fast 5K three months from now,” she said. “For people who are right in the middle of it, that’s the worst thing. It’s going to take a lot of time. I’m probably going to deal with it for the rest of my life. You have to treat it with the gravity that it demands.”