You might not be a runner if...

you say that you jog

-You wear big yellow headphone radios.

if you don't know who Roger Banister is

You have a body fat over 7%.

You run less then 40 miles a week.

You havn't been injured in the last 5 years.

You jog 4 days a week or less.

You support Jeff Galloway.

You take walking breaks.

You need to take a fiber supplement because you bowels aren't regular.

You read runners world.

You think a sub 20 min 5K is blazing fast.

You don't place in the top 20 at local road races.

I'll be back with more...

-Going for your run involves a treadmill

-The weather could keep you from going on your run

-You can't tell the difference between a training shoe and a racing flat

-You have never done some sort of repeat

-You go running and a baby stroller comes along

-Your workout group consists of only people from the office

-You think 5:00 is a good mile time

-You go out of your way to avoid a little mud

-You've never gotten up before 5am for a race

-You think a 15 mile run is something only marathoners do

-Your tan line doesn't go well above your knees

-You don't have a pile of T-Shirts from races you don't remember running

-You never skipped a meal because you were to tired to lift the fork

-You think being well hydrated involves beer

-You never set your alarm on Sunday mornings for something other than church

-The only watch you own has hands

-You don't know what a heart rate moniter looks like

-You wonder "is it really that hard to run at altitude"

-You think wind won't slow a track race down because it's pushing you half of the time

-You think sycrinized swimming belongs in the Olympics

- your sunglasses cost more than your shorts.

- you RACE with a cell phone (I've seen this).

- when other people are using it, you workout in lane one at the track- running clockwise.

- you buy new training shoes when the uppers are "scuffed"

- when you hear the phrase "100 miles per week", your first thought is of your car commute.

- you've never heard of a race called "the 10,000 meters".

- you think that "spikes" are something used in railway construction.

- you've never carried TP with you on a run.

- your first "walk break" is 15 minutes into the marathon.

- you've never surprised anyone when running up from behind them.

- you go on vacation for three days and forget to bring running shoes.

Your tits bounce when you run and you're a man!

you might not be a runner if........

you smell like flowers while wearing coolmax

you're goal is to not sweat during a run

you smile at the idiot that makes a right hand turn on red without stopping while you cross the street and you have the right-a-way, and he jsut misses by an inch, yeh, if you smile at that guy, you can't be a runner.

You think someone who runs a 4:00:00 marathon is a better athlete than someone who runs a 32:00 10k

you refer to a 10000m race on the track as "the 10k"

hey that applies to girls too.... (reall runner girls have no tits)

you might not be a runner if

you've never pee'd halfway through a run

you eat power bars cause they are "cool"

you don't own at least 10 pairs of shoes that look and smell so bad most people wouldn't allow them in their home and you keep them for, sentimental value

... your name is x2c instead of XC

You brag about running 70 miles a week

if you post any thread comparing Ritz and Webb.

Another one:

You spend more time debating the socio-economical/genetic factors that make the africans fast than you spend on running

You need to bring along PowerGel for a 10 miler.

You race the 5K in preformance trainer, not racing flats or your old HS XC spikes.

You watch Prefontaine and sit around afterwards what it would be like to run that fast.

You spend more time talking about running than actually running.

Your running shorts are larger than a XL.

You can bench your own weight more than once.

You once thought you had an overuse injury, but your shoes were just on the wrong feet.

You look down at your feet and can't see your shoes.

It takes at least a 6pack to get you drunk

When talking about abs, your friends consider your six-pack a keg.

You get scared to run the 10k, becuase all you usually race is the 5K.

I'll probaly come up with more, I like this topic...

You run in a cotton sweatshirt when its cold outside;

You have never had chafed thighs;

If its less than 40 degerees outside its too cold to run;

You always line up at the front of a race, when you know your first mile will be slower than 6:00 pace;

You don't understanding why the skinny people at your local track run only one lap fast, then stop or jog, then start again, and repeat this 10 or even 20 times, instead of just jogging around at an increasingly slower pace like you do;

You think people who run while wearing with shorts and gloves at the same time are wierd, and people who go to races with shorts a singlet and gloves look absurd;

You don't kmow what words like fartlek, tempo, intervals, quarters, negative splits, base, etc. mean, and you don't realize that they could have anything to do with running;

You don't realize that certain women runners are infinately faster than you could ever be, or ever could have been, and that in fact their pace over the last 1/4 mile of a 10,000 race is faster than you can run 1/2 mile flat out.

-When someone remarks "The first 20 miles is only half the marathon" you think 'what a fool, a marathon is only 26 miles long'

You might not be a runner if:

your shoes don't look and smell terrible. (someone posted this earlier, it's so true)

you wear those retarded socks with chili peppers on them or whatever.

you need water stops on runs shorter than 2 hours.

you use any of that PowerGel crap on a run.

you're afraid to take a deuce in the woods.

And on and on and on.