Lots of people do this. It’s called adultry.
Lots of people do this. It’s called adultry.
Has the world gone mad? wrote:
Wife's side of the family. Cousin just announced they two partners. And their partners have two partners. A lot to wrap my head around. Anybody have experience in this realm? Seems nuts to me.
Why the F would you give a sh!t?
Dwightarm wrote:
Polyamory isn’t anything new. It’s existed since marriage has existed. In pretty much every culture and society on the plante.
Not my cup of tea, but I also don’t care if someone eats pineapple and ham on pizza (which is disgusting to me.) Consenting adults can do whatever they want.
I know a few polyamorous couples and had no idea. One in particular is very quiet and unassuming, mostly keep to themselves.
Only polygamy (one man many wives) has existed for a long time. This is bad for societies because a small number of men take up a majority of the women, leaving most of the men single and violent. That's why all civilized societies do not tolerate it.
CarbonFiberJoe wrote:
Only polygamy (one man many wives) has existed for a long time.
False.
There are many societies where women have had multiple husbands as well.
Consenting adults engaging in sex isn’t harmful. Again, not my cup of tea, but I also understand not everyone can realistically be monogamous.
dan sandwich wrote:
Has the world gone mad? wrote:
Wife's side of the family. Cousin just announced they two partners. And their partners have two partners. A lot to wrap my head around. Anybody have experience in this realm? Seems nuts to me.
You act like this requires a response from you.
Good response. Yeah, who gives a f*ck?
Yusef Scumm wrote:
Lots of people do this. It’s called adultry.
I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say it really isn't called adultry.
Really Really Obvi wrote:
Yusef Scumm wrote:
Lots of people do this. It’s called adultry.
I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say it really isn't called adultry.
Don’t go out too far.
You’ll fall down and go boom.
Yusef Scumm wrote:
Really Really Obvi wrote:
I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say it really isn't called adultry.
Don’t go out too far.
You’ll fall down and go boom.
Adultery occurs when a married person has sex with an individual other than their spouse. OP never mentioned that anyone involved is married. In fact, he specifically used the word "partner" rather than spouse/husband/wife.
I dated a woman who expressed interest in this. She and I never got sexually intimate, and I even had suspicions that she was faking an interest in such things. Anyway, she was very accomplished academically and professionally in her career, but I later came to believe she was truly curious about such things. Turns out she claimed to have been sexually molested by a group of middle-aged men when she was a young teenager. She was anorexic, suicidal and possibly alcoholic, the three of which I suspect were a consequence of the molestation.
So they are swingers....got it
Has the world gone mad? wrote:
Wife's side of the family. Cousin just announced they two partners. And their partners have two partners. A lot to wrap my head around. Anybody have experience in this realm? Seems nuts to me.
U mad, bro?
Your cousin told family members that they were polyamorous? Wouldn't these polyamorous family members know this already?
This.
Also, polygamy and polyamory aren't the same thing. I'm not polyamorous, but if two consenting adults are in to it, that's their business.
Dwightarm wrote:
I also don’t care if someone eats pineapple and ham on pizza (which is disgusting to me.)
There are certain things a modern society just shouldn't tolerate, and this is one of them. The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing. Now get up and join me in this fight!
Yusef Scumm wrote:
Lots of people do this. It’s called adultry.
Adultery. Learn to spell.
I'm in my 40's and have been married over 20 years. I am in a poly relationship. After 20 years of marriage, and a desire on both our parts to address ever-increasing boredom, and the resulting urge to cheat, we decided to see what options were out there. As we learned, there's many. Some people can remain married for 20 years and cheating or sheer boredom is never an issue. That's not most people, and the end result is, to borrow a quote from Yusef, "Adultry." I'm glad to say we were able to preserve our marriage, and be happy once again. What you need to keep in mind is that a polyamorous relationship is not swinging. There are a lot of different ways that relationships outside a primary relationship are practiced. People like to collectively lump everyone into one big category (usually erroneously referred to as "swingers"), when they are anything but one category. My wife and I are educated, gainfully employed and happily married with adult children. We don't look or act any different than anyone else. The difference: We both date outside our marriage. I've had the same girlfriend for nearly 2 years. That of course raises the next question everyone wants to know: Yes they both know. Yes, they've even met. No, my girlfriend is not married. My girlfriend is not only companionship (yes, we are truly friends), but she has helped me to appreciate my wife more (each provide me their own unique set of headaches). My relationship with my girlfriend augments my marriage. Yes, it took a bit to figure out a time and emotional balance - and to answer the other question people wonder about, no it's not all sex. In fact there's no more sex than a regular dating relationship. We do the same normal dating things any couple does: Dinner, movies, shopping. Yes, in public (obviously). That last part is why the OP's cousin might have been inclined to say something; You want to avoid any awkward public moments if possible. I've run into family while out with my girlfriend, and having (more discreetly than a group announcement) made people aware in advance helped prevent any awkward (or potentially worse) moments. My wife sees a guy, with the points I mentioned being pretty much the same. The issues have been relatively few. Jealousy can rear it's ugly head (as could be expected), and you have to be an expert in time management. I don't recommend it for everyone, but for the people it does work for (and I know from personal experience that we are not alone), it works well. I certainly understand the misgivings people have about it, but my thought is that if it works for someone and doesn't affect you, then why should it matter? I've found most of my buddies are jealous ("How do I talk my wife into that?") and the others are already in some sort of extramarital relationship (most commonly adulterous). Again, not for everyone, and as they say 'haters gonna hate' but it has kept me from being a divorce statistic. Our marriage is better than ever. We communicate better than we ever had, and view each other in ways we didn't before. We are truly happy - and these days happiness can be a hard thing to find. I'm not asking anyone to agree with it, but hopefully this enlightens some of you that might be wondering.
So, you're saying there was no other practical avenue to "better communication" than this? No, conveniently you both get to taste the strange, as well. That's what this is about. I'm not hatin' on your situation, just the lies you employ to rationalize and peddle it.
As Francois Truffaut said after he made Jules And Jim: "Monogamy is impossible. Everything else is far worse."
Simple, in 2020 America it’s all about “living your best life” and people see little value to commitment, loyalty, or ACTUAL care for others. Virtue signaling is all that really matters. There’s no room for self-control in modern times. Just do whatever you want, however you want, whenever you want. Except not wearing a mask, then you’re the worst human alive.
Let people live how they want to live. This arrangement would work in very, very few scenarios. It will likely end in an explosion of hate and jealousy. It's just too complicated. But if they want to try and, and they're all consenting adults, why not let them be?
Haters gonna hate wrote:
Yusef Scumm wrote:
Lots of people do this. It’s called adultry.
Adultery. Learn to spell.
I'm in my 40's and have been married over 20 years. I am in a poly relationship. After 20 years of marriage, and a desire on both our parts to address ever-increasing boredom, and the resulting urge to cheat, we decided to see what options were out there. As we learned, there's many. Some people can remain married for 20 years and cheating or sheer boredom is never an issue. That's not most people, and the end result is, to borrow a quote from Yusef, "Adultry." I'm glad to say we were able to preserve our marriage, and be happy once again. What you need to keep in mind is that a polyamorous relationship is not swinging. There are a lot of different ways that relationships outside a primary relationship are practiced. People like to collectively lump everyone into one big category (usually erroneously referred to as "swingers"), when they are anything but one category. My wife and I are educated, gainfully employed and happily married with adult children. We don't look or act any different than anyone else. The difference: We both date outside our marriage. I've had the same girlfriend for nearly 2 years. That of course raises the next question everyone wants to know: Yes they both know. Yes, they've even met. No, my girlfriend is not married. My girlfriend is not only companionship (yes, we are truly friends), but she has helped me to appreciate my wife more (each provide me their own unique set of headaches). My relationship with my girlfriend augments my marriage. Yes, it took a bit to figure out a time and emotional balance - and to answer the other question people wonder about, no it's not all sex. In fact there's no more sex than a regular dating relationship. We do the same normal dating things any couple does: Dinner, movies, shopping. Yes, in public (obviously). That last part is why the OP's cousin might have been inclined to say something; You want to avoid any awkward public moments if possible. I've run into family while out with my girlfriend, and having (more discreetly than a group announcement) made people aware in advance helped prevent any awkward (or potentially worse) moments. My wife sees a guy, with the points I mentioned being pretty much the same. The issues have been relatively few. Jealousy can rear it's ugly head (as could be expected), and you have to be an expert in time management. I don't recommend it for everyone, but for the people it does work for (and I know from personal experience that we are not alone), it works well. I certainly understand the misgivings people have about it, but my thought is that if it works for someone and doesn't affect you, then why should it matter? I've found most of my buddies are jealous ("How do I talk my wife into that?") and the others are already in some sort of extramarital relationship (most commonly adulterous). Again, not for everyone, and as they say 'haters gonna hate' but it has kept me from being a divorce statistic. Our marriage is better than ever. We communicate better than we ever had, and view each other in ways we didn't before. We are truly happy - and these days happiness can be a hard thing to find. I'm not asking anyone to agree with it, but hopefully this enlightens some of you that might be wondering.
Sorry.... a typo. My bad, cheater boy.
Learn to keep your wordy responses down. I didn’t read a word.....