My girlfriend of a year still says she's single on Facebook

knock her out of the tree wrote:

Rick Sanchez wrote:

It's obvious what's going on with her. She is monkey branching you. It's a very common thing women do in regards to relationships. She is holding on to you, aka the existing branch, until she has another relationship to go to, aka the next branch. You understand that if a monkey doesn't have a hold of a branch, they fall out of the tree.

As a married female, I came on here to say that when I was dating, if I was excited about the guy, I was excited to get that relationship status updated ASAP.

There are many valid exceptions to this, all plausible. But I think most women who think they have catch are proud of him and want to be seen with him

This. OP, you are not important to this girl. You are just a space filler until the right guy comes along. If she is adding value to your life that outweighs this fact, carry on. If not, quit wasting your time.

ok so I'm only responding because this happened in a movie, but in Aaron Sorkin's The Social Network, about the founding of facebook, one of the facebook founders gets dumped because his girlfriend finds out that he kept his status as single, but it just turns out that he didn't know how to change it

(and then she tries to burn his house down but there are other problems there)

Point being, just ask her about it, it's probably either an oversight or just something that she didn't think would bother you.

If your girlfriend still lists her status as "single," that means you still have your hall pass.

If you feel like addressing it without being confrontational, you could find a reason to pull up her FB page while you're hanging out together and then act like you are just noticing the single status for the first time and make a joke about it. "Oh, hey, FB says you're single. You're kinda cute, wanna go out sometime?"

You can gauge her response then. She'll probably be a little bit defensive if she has ulterior motives. If she truly just forgot to change it or didn't remember that she'd ever listed a relationship status in the first place (most people don't look at their own profile that often), she'll probably just laugh it off and change the status on the spot.

Read "The Rational Male" series by Rollo Tomassi and take it to heart, or get burned. Your choice.

I had something like this happen back when I was new on FB (2007 maybe). I was dating a girl that kept her relationship status as single. We didn't make it a year. I realized that she didn't want to upset any of her male friends by updating the status.

We didn't last long, but my next relationship was my wife. Another door opens...

Hope it all works out for you.

Bro, it wouldn't be bad if she literally never got on Facebook but since she routinely gets on that's a problem to still have Single, the girls I've been in relationships with update as soon as they can and are pushing me to change it and try to advertise that I'm with them. If I don't change my relationship status I've had one put a profile picture of me and her together to advertise to other people. Since you've already brought it up to her it wouldn't be worth mentioning again, as another user said I would stop putting effort into the relationship and pull back. The thing is women cheat regardless if they have the relationship status on there or not and she can set it up to where only people that she knows you know can see it. I more or less use it as an indicator of her interest towards me and maybe it gets some guys to not inbox her. Most importantly if you can get back on your purpose in life it'll lower the chance of stuff like this happening (nothing can completely eliminate unless a woman sees your strength in ability to walk away from her and in that case her behavior shapens up or she is gone from your life)

My wife's Bumble account says she's single.

Yah who cares what her relationship status says on FB. I think the whole announcing youre in a relationship is kind of cheesy and kid like to be honest. And like someone said above. Unless you are married you are technically single.

Get a job and enhance your self respect. She will respect you more and figure out if she has a future with you. I don't think any woman would want to commit to what you describe ie just floating along with no idea....

If she had doubts about you, continuing to pursue it will make them worse. You aren’t married and live an hour apart. You can’t make someone want to show you off. Insisting on it indicates low self-esteem and will drive her away. However, if you don’t trust what she tells you and question her intentions, then that’s an issue. Things need to to progress organically.

I wouldn’t say to bail on the relationship, but maybe take a step back for your sake.

Rick Sanchez wrote:

It's obvious what's going on with her. She is monkey branching you. It's a very common thing women do in regards to relationships. She is holding on to you, aka the existing branch, until she has another relationship to go to, aka the next branch. You understand that if a monkey doesn't have a hold of a branch, they fall out of the tree.

What a great analogy.

Here is what you need to do: Open Facebook -> Change your relationship status to "Open Relationship" If she asks just tell her, you are just being honest. At least you won't be lying. Or don't do anything and keep it open. You are not Mr. Right, you are as they say Mr. Right Now; but two can tango.

This is so funny but lets put jokes aside. And lets focus on the elephant in the room: if your sister hasn't told you about your girlfriend's facebook status would anything have changed at this point?

To me it seems like you're too insecure about the relationship, which is a sign that this relationship would not last long. The best way for your situation to be resolved would be for you to decide if you want to focus on her facebook status and what the public thinks or focus on what the relationship brings to you and work on strengthening this relationship if you really are committed to her and want to be with her for long time. As far as asking her about changing her facebook status, I see no problem since you have already mentioned it to her before. While you're at it make sure you explain to her her facebook status and her not posting pictures of you two as couples is giving you red flags in your relationship, and see what she says.

also and FYI and not to discourage you: i know a few of my friends who have been together since high school and 2-3yrs of college and their facebook status doesn't say anything about their relationship, and i am not saying this should be you.

If she isn't updating her Facebook status, she doesn't want to be publicly connected to you. That's it. She is bored and looking for better options, so begin the process of withdrawing from her and making her initiate all contact henceforth. If she doesn't start coming around in a big way, dump her.

Do not tolerate this emasculating, disrespectful sh!t from her.

Thanks everyone for the comments.

Anyway here's an Update:

I broke up with her this evening.

I began to realize that the Facebook issue, while important, was really a symptom and not the main underlying cause of our issues. Among other things, since this is a running board I'll share that she doesn't like it that I have enough free time to run while I'm switching careers and taking the time to figure out what's right, and she doesn't. She thinks running is a last on the list luxury.

She says she's jealous and wishes she was in my shoes. I kind of understand it because she is busy trying to run her small business in these hard times so whenever I see her I spend a lot of time helping her but it seems like it's never enough.

I went up there saturday evening, and we talked a bit about some of our issues (I didn't bring up the facebook thing then) and then actually had a decent time. I felt OK. I stayed up there. But, Sunday when I was going to walk her dog for her she was back to being critical about some pretty trivial stuff. I told her that evening I wanted to break up due to things being too much of a roller coaster. I also mentioned the facebook thing which surprised her and she said she hadn't changed it because the general public basically doesn't need to know about her personal relationships. It should be what's between the couples that matters. I later said that if you don't want the public to know your relationship details I can totally get that so just leave it blank but by actually saying single it is then deliberately telling the public a lie. I told her I've never been the jealous type so It's not about jealousy it's about honesty, and it's not a good look.

She tried to convince me not to break up but just to take a break for a couple weeks or so because she's just too stressed these days (there is a lot happening for her) and she might be in a better place later. To at least wait until today to talk some more. We talked on the phone today for a long time and I just wasn't getting the sense that anything was going to really change on any issue on her end. (I am willing to do some things). I told her I felt like she tries to call all the shots and there's little compromise.

I thought about it some more and I called her back later and broke up. It was really hard to do. She said she was expecting it.

You dumped her.

Good. For. Her.

Urine jerk.

You already KNOW what's going on. I haven't read the other threads but posting is your way to work this through.

By the way, I really don't like her and neither does your friend or sister.