david45 wrote:
KT1 wrote:
If it’s actually this hard for you now, there is no way you could have been scholarship worthy even if you started in middle school. Don’t beat yourself up over a fantasy you could have never achieved with your talent level.
That is sad. I will never get to get a scholarship because of my genes
These are the kind of posts that annoy many posters. There are a lot more reasons why you will never get an athletic scholarship than your genetics. You didn't go out for xc until senior year. Even if you were super talented, with such a late start, you'd have been a walk on at best.
You have a strange way of planning training - ie nothing seemed off enough about training in your backyard for months to stop doing it. Finally you realized it was hampering your improvement or maybe just wasn't fun, but it took over 4 months.
Not being part of a team doesn't bother you to the point where you make joining one - the UCLA club team an extreme priority. The top athletes ran for the school's teams even when they had to jump through hoops to do so.
If you'd run from freshman year and applied yourself academically, you could have gotten an academic scholarship at a d3 or something, which is just as good as being on athletic scholarship unless you plan to just coast by in college.
Its not just your level, if someone made threads - its so sad I'll never run a 219 marathon, they'd be as off putting as posts like the quoted one.
What can you do? Focus on the future, not the past.
Set reasonable goals.
A better goal would be to bust your ass for 4 years of club running to walk on an naia team for 2 years while getting a masters.
Run in the present. This approach looks like - yesterday was super crappy, what' today's run, with yesterday's condition having no bearing on today's, only physiology playing a role in the run underway, not psychology.
The world is never going to be handed to you. At best someone (letsrun) might tell you how to do the work, but you'll actually have to do it and pouting on the internet isn't going to help, only taking things one day at a time will.