Woo boy,
I think all the points were made, but I just want to hammer a few home.
Most women will choose a night alone over going on a date with someone they are not interested in. Why waste the time, and engage socially with someone who might think it is going somewhere when it isn't? Also socializing with someone they aren't interested in or don't like is exhausting. It's quite possible she doesn't want your company at all, and doesn't enjoy being in it.
As a guy I'd rather spend the time by myself at home than go on a random first date, just because. Sheesh. How much attention does the OP need? Dates are exhausting if you aren't into the person. They're exhausting in general. Join a club--running, pottery making, cigar smoking, toastmasters, books etc--if you need to talk to someone that bad.
alvin wrote:
that sounds great, actually wrote:
That sounds like a really pleasant way to spend a summer evening. How narcissistic of you to assume that inserting yourself into the picture would have made her dinner more enjoyable.
I don't think anyone WANTS to be alone.
Clearly you are young and have never heard of Greta Garbo
jkvaoie wrote:
Woo boy,
I think all the points were made, but I just want to hammer a few home.
Most women will choose a night alone over going on a date with someone they are not interested in. Why waste the time, and engage socially with someone who might think it is going somewhere when it isn't? Also socializing with someone they aren't interested in or don't like is exhausting. It's quite possible she doesn't want your company at all, and doesn't enjoy being in it.
This.
And as a woman, I constantly encounter(or did when normal socializing still existed) men who make me feel uncomfortable really just by looking at me and it’s often only increased by the way they speak to me.
A lot of women in this era have exceedingly high standards, brought on by desperation in men and social media.
Take online dating for example:
An average looking girl can get a date every day of the week. Why? Because a lot of men are desperate--- more-so the average ones (whether to date or actually just bang). There was an online dating study done by some huge website that basically stated:
Majority of women rate 80% of men as ugly.
Majority of men rate women on basically, a bell curve.
So now you have average looking women who can wear make-up, heels, very flattering outfits, and such, to make them look more attractive. With that, coupled with 100s of guys shooting their shot, the playing field is not even for dudes.
Let's say she did humor you and let you take her out on one date. What then? Then there are expectations. You went out on one date, so now, from your side since you likely felt a connection, why shouldn't there be a second, and a third, and so on. You would have that same "she didn't give me a chance," feeling, and maybe even more so since you had a taste of what it's like to spend time with her and now have some expectations because she "let you have it" once. Maybe one of these times she'll finally realize that I'm the guy for her, you might think. But it doesn't work like that. Not only does/did she not feel an attraction to you, but "giving you a chance" would only add to your expectations and add a lot more pressure to the situation when she didn't feel an attraction in the first place, and you clearly have a hard time taking no for an answer. You never want someone to "let you" date them, you want them to want you too, and this clearly isn't ever going to happen in this situation.
7/10
I think that women know better than to lead guys on by accepting dinner invitations, when they know that they are not feeling the attraction, and don't feel the potential that this could lead to a relationship. If she accepted the invitation and perhaps you paid for dinner and you thought it went well... wouldn't you hope/expect/try to take it beyond just dinner? Women have to be careful not to invite that situation if they know it isn't what they want. She did the best thing by not leading you into a frustrating situation and wasting your time.
The whole premise is wrong. Girls don't turn down dates is they don't have anything better to do. If they turn down a date with you it is because you are the worse option. It isn't their fault you are such a loser.
I found the answer to this thread:
simplicity works wrote:
7/10
Nice try, OP.
that sounds great, actually wrote:
alvin wrote:
she was sitting on her patio alone eating and reading a book.
That sounds like a really pleasant way to spend a summer evening. How narcissistic of you to assume that inserting yourself into the picture would have made her dinner more enjoyable.
This sums it up. I'd rather be sitting at home reading than be on a date with someone I wasn't into. The narcissism of the OP is staggering.
loneowl wrote:
As a girl, plus an introvert, I will tell you it's a lot more exhausting to spend time with someone you don't care for than to be alone with a book and your dinner. It's a lot of acting to have to be so politely interested all the time.
This times one zillion. Is the original post by the OP real? How can someone be so ignorant?
Do not waste your time with girls who say no. Seriously just forget about her and ask the next girl you’re interested in out. Do the same thing if that girl says no. Just keep going and don’t give up. This life is a marathon not a sprint and don’t stop being yourself. You don’t want to be with a person who’s not instantly interested anyway.
Would you go on a date with a fat/ugly chick just for a free dinner?
Because something about you doesnt meet her standards. So improve yourself, continue to get better and eventually if shes interested will reciprocate.
Not everyone in life will like you or want to be with you.
To all the women who rejected me: THANK YOU !!!
I have been married for 22 years to the greatest wife on Earth.
It all worked out for me. Not so sure about them.
Gays have gaydar.....chicks have nerd-guard.....they know ahead of time who they want/don't want.....Tif for you.....go for the women that like you that you like.
Yea I don't get it. If they accept the date and they're not really interested then the guy's just going to complain about being led on eventually. Dating for the sake of dating is a total waste of time and very few people do this unless they just want free stuff.
big HONKING birds wrote:
Yea I don't get it. If they accept the date and they're not really interested then the guy's just going to complain about being led on eventually. Dating for the sake of dating is a total waste of time and very few people do this unless they just want free stuff.
Or want social (and sexual) interaction yet fear commitment.