People who got a divorce, why? Are you happier now or no?

DARPA invented the internet. Those guys definitely were not liberals lol

VXII1 wrote:

llort_vbo wrote:

I think its great that you’re happy and probably matched up better the second time. It might also be that she chose poorly too and it’s not a value judgment on either of you. My 2c.

I don't think she chose poorly. I treated her like a queen, got her everything she wanted, bought us a brand new house, etc. I did everything I possibly could to save it.

I think she has mental health issues that prevent her from forming healthy relationships with anyone. She needs to choose to fix herself. But, it's not my business anymore and I've moved on.

That is where you went wrong. Women just don't respect (or appreciate) men who treat them like a queen. They see a guy who is weak and needy. You need to throw some "jerk" into the marriage to keep them even-keeled and appreciative when you do nice things. You need to be the "bad boy" occasionally.

Women are mentally irrational.

malehide wrote:

VXII1 wrote:

I don't think she chose poorly. I treated her like a queen, got her everything she wanted, bought us a brand new house, etc. I did everything I possibly could to save it.

I think she has mental health issues that prevent her from forming healthy relationships with anyone. She needs to choose to fix herself. But, it's not my business anymore and I've moved on.

That is where you went wrong. Women just don't respect (or appreciate) men who treat them like a queen. They see a guy who is weak and needy. You need to throw some "jerk" into the marriage to keep them even-keeled and appreciative when you do nice things. You need to be the "bad boy" occasionally.

Women are mentally irrational.

Found the incel

Think with your Brain wrote:

Mahatma guru wrote:

I'm really happier now. We had some fine years together and got a lovely kid, but we found out we didn't really love each other. Now I think I have met my soulmate and I hope It will last to the end of time.

Could you elaborate? You two both got along fine but simply didn't "love" each other? How old was your kid when you divorced? How has the kid handled everything?

For context, I'm asking because someone close to me semi-desperately wants to divorce but is staying for the kids... It is quite the predicament.

My advice is that one should not ' stay for the kids' in the way of staying together. My ex and I are still very good friends and both do our best to support our kids in shared custody. The kids know it's not their fault the mother and I split apart. And they know their mother and father loves them very much. Our kids feels good to know their father and mother are happy and that way can give them much more positive energy when we are together with them .

Well im disabled veteran and my ex was verbally abusive putting me down all the time about my disability still narcissistic as ever with the kids. He's moved on quickly for me I haven't found the right person not saying there not our there but ran into alot of crappy people so no luck. Right now took a break from running which was needed starting to get back. Now completely just cut men off and focus on running and family and friends. As far as leaving im alot happier. He was waiting for me to die to collect a check bad situation. Now I'm free my only issue is men cut that out and I have a good life. I do eventually want a partner but I see right now alot of guys aren't worth my time. Glad I left I'm at peace despite being disabled.

Hi

i was married for 19 years, together for 25. We dated some in high school and all through college. We have two sons together who are now, 30 and 27. My oldest is 30, married, with my granddaughter who is 3 and one on the way.. my 27 year is engaged. We have been divorced for 15 years now. We are both remarried.. me for 10 and him for 9. We both truly loved one another but for some reason, he was missing something. He cheated twice. I knew that if he did again, I would be done. Long story short.. whether there was actual cheating again, I got a phone call about someone .. I was done. He begged me not to go through with it. I had no regrets.

Flash forward to 15 years later and some of the things you go through that you don’t even think about.. I married someone who has kids.. they were basically adults when we got married.. so they have kids etc.. my ex husband ended up marrying the girl I got the phone call about.. she was married before but has no kids.. so now my ex husband and his wife take my sons, wives etc and my granddaughter on trips .. i take them on vacations also. .. we don’t get to experience our beautiful granddaughter together like it was meant to be when we first started out. This is what life is about.. watching your children grow up and seeing them have families of their own… I just feel sad that it didn’t work, I feel sad for my kids having to spilt time with holidays etc.. I miss what we had as a family even though we had several problems in our marriage.. I just wonder if this is normal to miss that after so many years of being divorced.

I was married for 5 years in my 30s. My ex-husband worked a low wage job that he hated and I'm a doctor so I was the breadwinner. I worked my ass off so we could have enough to have children and he wouldn't have to work anymore. He said he liked this sitution, but I think it emasculated him. Sex dried up for sure. Frankly, I worked a lot and ran a lot and lost my libido (which came back in full force a few months later). He left me for another woman and his parting words were "I would never want someone who works as much as you to be the mother of my children."

What lessons did I learn? Frankly, I'm skeptical of the feminist indoctrination I got as a child. I was pushed to be a career woman because I was intelligent and an eager learner. Deep down I knew I wanted a family and kids but never let that thought surface. In my world, women that dropped out of the workforce were weak and failures. The thing no one tells you is your biological clock is going to start ticking the moment you are working the hardest when you are trying to climb the career ladder. It forces women to make a very stark choice.

Now I look at women who didn't work as hard as I did and prioritized their beauty and their charm who now have happy families and work as homemaker s or part time. I'm jealous of them, but too old to change my situation now.

I can relate to your post. You are not too old to have a fabulous life, it'll just be different than a 24-year-old's. And way better to be an old-school physician than the the women who take it easy but rely on men (they will come to find this out sooner or later). Truly enviable marriages are beyond rare, and everyone's looks fade enough that the midlife crisis/younger girlfriend stereotype exists for a reason. Work less now that you can, get outrageously fit, be a thoughtful, interesting person and cultivate relationships with uplifting, deep people. The people stuck doing carpool and playdates will be plenty jealous whether they admit it or not.

I don’t think women are mentally irrational. But it is true that it helps for a man to be strong and decisive. I omen respect that, and it increases attraction.

Everyone who has been divorced is a failure. Just something to think about. Blame the other person all you want, you chose them.

Another way to be a failure is to make yourself and everyone around you miserable by trying to prove that you're not a failure.

I divorced in my early 40s. At the time we divorced my ex and I had a 9-year-old and 5-year-old twins. Our life was so disfunctional. No money despite two professional jobs, no sex, no agreement on what the future would look like. We couldn't agree on anything practical, and my ex was mean and insulting. We actually were still friends in some ways, and sometimes enjoyed each others' company, but when she wanted to end it, I felt relieved.

It felt like I was walking out of of a dark basement into the clear light of day. 14 years later, I'm happily remarried. I have good relationships with my kids, who are now grown, and so does she. The kids are doing fine. It stinks to be married to the wrong person.

Every guy I know who has gotten divorced has gotten really fit afterward. If you want to compete…consider it!

Divorce is rarely about one simple reason like “she changed” or “he wasn’t attentive enough.” Most marriages break down because patterns of communication, expectations, or compatibility become unworkable over time. It’s often a mix of emotional, practical, and sometimes financial issues.

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From conversations with people who’ve gone through it, once the practical side is managed properly, it’s easier to find genuine relief and sometimes even happiness, after divorce. Handling the legal and financial aspects transparently can make a tough situation feel far less overwhelming.