listened to my coach and trained harder and smarter, then progressed to become a full time amateur distance runner- and who knows where from there- the olympics perhaps?
Just dreaming whst could have been!
listened to my coach and trained harder and smarter, then progressed to become a full time amateur distance runner- and who knows where from there- the olympics perhaps?
Just dreaming whst could have been!
I would not have gotten married. I am trapped in a life of quiet desperation with a woman who is very cruel. I stay only for my children.
wow, really great feedback so far. thanks a bunch. i'm taking a lot of this advice to heart!
the young and the restless wrote:
wow, really great feedback so far. thanks a bunch. i'm taking a lot of this advice to heart!
What else would you expect from the kind and compassionate folks at letsrun.com.
After college, I graduated late, I went on a strict work three years travel for 6 months routine until I finally switched it to travel for a year work 6 months. Got married at 36. Eased into a career. Have got an awesome wife and cool little kids. Had I gotten married, even one year before I did, I would have been in the same boat with those guys who say don't get married. At a certain point in life, being a part of a family is much better than banging indiscriminant chicks. This timetable is different for all of us..
My advice is to make sure you run throughout your lifetime. For me it was the one stable thing that I could do while the rest of my life was wildly fluctuating back and forth. We all need a base from which to jump and running can provide that continuity. Go get 'em tiger...
No ripping. LDS people are cool, I have some LDS friends.
See my "post nuptial shut off" thread elsewhere. From what I have seen and heard, you are not alone.
I was away with some running friends recently, I drove and a few of the gals made comments (after a few pops) about how the kids were the only reason they stayed with the hubbies.
No lie.
I'm just graduating college too - I can relate to a lot of the concerns about getting a real career, but not really wanting to be tied down to it, and wanting to run or travel, and similar dilemmas. But one of my main regrets is not losing my virginity. Over the years a few girls were definitely into me, but for me attraction was always all or nothing (so when the girls I liked rejected me I'd just forget about it and go back to bashing the bishop). It's recently crept up on me that this puts me in quite a minority.
Not sure if I really should regret this. But I think now it places constraints on me and how I relate to other people because I lack confidence.
I'm not sure if this is better or worse than the unhappy marriage stories.
I'm going to graduate a little late (age 24 math and econ). I signed up do teach English in France for a year. I'm going to do that and go to Spain and study/teach for a year or two. I think it would make me happier in the long run even though it seems like a stupid career move. When I move back I'll probably decide to either go back to school or get a state job.
My biggest regrets are: being depressed, not opening up enough, not having enough work experience, and not finding a girlfriend.
Need data wrote:
See my "post nuptial shut off" thread elsewhere. From what I have seen and heard, you are not alone.
I was away with some running friends recently, I drove and a few of the gals made comments (after a few pops) about how the kids were the only reason they stayed with the hubbies.
No lie.
No sex is the least of worries, not that I am having any. Just a little bit of kindness and affirmation goes a long way.
I would avoid marriage like malaria but be kind to those that choose it, travel lots, don't get anyone knocked up, develop a good transportable skilled trade, be self-employed, write books, climb insanely beautiful mts., run hard/easy in every possible type of race and format, wear sunscreen so that I look 30 at 40, keep a lean powerful physique, enjoy my friends and their kids, have really good female friends who I don't boink, buy only healthy food but accept goodies that are proffered up since i'm so "skinny", smile at all beautiful women no matter what they look like, observe wild animals for insights into existence, realize that if you have lots of testosterone like me self-pleasure is the cake and sex is the very sweet and delectable icing, realize tat the biggest and most important sexual organ is the brain, never pay more than $1200 for a set of wheels or carry a mortgage, work hard at my play and make my workplace fun, travel some more, sleep under the sky with no more than a layer of nylon over my head at least 60-100 days/year,
In short, I wouldn't change a thing.
all these things I havent done wrote:
1. Hike the Appalachian Trail
2. Get a bike and cycle Europe
3. Buy less things (except hiking and cycling gear)
4. Run more miles and not all intensely hard
Then: Get back, get a job and BUY A FREAKIN HOUSE. When I think of all the rent money I threw away over the years...
What attIhd is getting across is that there's never a time in your life when you'll have more freedom (from a job, the need of a big-time job, a spouse, kids, other family obligations, financial obligations) and better health that in your early 20s post-college. Take advantage of that for a year or two. Gain some great life experiences. And then decide on grad school and your career.
I've never heard one person say they got married to late.
Remember that.
Strive to maintain your freedom. At 24 I took a very good paying job that allowed me to travel and I didn't have to work that much. But I always wished I could be free of the job because the friends I had always seemed to be doing something really cool while I was busy.
Stay 100 miles away from getting married young. I am married now (at 36) and it is great, but only when the time is right.
I was unmarried from 24-34, traveled all over the world, spent hundreds of nights in bars and discos, met and dated dozens of really beautiful girls, made and lost money, and did everything in my heart except run (I quit running at 26 when I realized I would never do anything more significant than I already had done - perhaps a mistake?).
I had a great young life and if I were to change it I would have tried to spend less time in bars (where one tends to hang out with guys) and more time hanging out with the girls I met in discos. I tended to see women as either "hot" or uninteresting back then. Consequently I never got laid in those days. It was later when I realized that casual relationships were the ticket to heaven. The best thing you can do is never formally date anyone, just meet women in places to have coffee or see them at the club, whatever. Then you can hang with whatever woman you want, whenever. If they don't want to do something with you, there's no rejection, your ego doesn't get bruised. The day you find yourself in an accidental 3-way with 2 beautiful and previously respectable girls and wonder how you got there is the day you know you're doing something right...ah, the memories!
You can get serious later in life. Hell, you can even get serious about running later in life...look at Henry Rono...
Follow your heart, never let someone else (especially family) tell you what is in your heart.
22 is sooooooo young
Keep going down the road that you are on, make a left hand turn, go over the drawbridge and into the castle and ask the question: "Whom does the grail serve?"
promises promises wrote:
realize tat the biggest and most important sexual organ is the brain,
oh, so thats what the 3 inchers say to themselves, huh.
traveling is not a big deal. Some people get so worked up over travel, who cares? Dont worry about travel so much.
Appreciate time with the family and dont go too long without that quality family time... never more than a couple months if possible.
Dont get pigeon-holed into a career. It IS possible to find a job you like and make some money at the same time. Try to find that job.
getting dumped by your girl is one of the best things to ever happen to you. Bang tons of chicks, that is very fun. When you do get married you will have no regrets.
The world is your oyster, man! you are young, single, no kids, and college educated. You can do whatever you want! What an exciting time!
oh yea, and get yourself a banjo.
Great guess on the diameter!
sp!kes wrote:
promises promises wrote:realize tat the biggest and most important sexual organ is the brain,
oh, so thats what the 3 inchers say to themselves, huh.
promises promises wrote:
Great guess on the diameter!
lol
I'm a year younger than you so I'll be facing the "real world" soon as well. The majority of people I've known feel the same way you do upon graduating from college. Sure, there are a few that marry their high school sweetheart and have their whole lives planned out. But the truth is, those people usually end up the most disappointed. They might regret what they missed out on. We are young. This is the best time to take risks. You might see your breakup as something negative, but you will learn from that relationship and find someone better. I agree that you should not worry about getting married and settling down this young, but do not blow off the idea completely. You might find someone when you aren't even looking. Focus on what you enjoy with your job(s) and other activities and leave if you are not truly happy.