I worked all weekend for co-worker on staycation

consider this wrote:

Two thoughts: women are much less dedicated to their jobs than men, and she has the vacation time so it's her business what she does with it.

True, and not to absolve the rest of the team of any blame but it's a dickmove to take a 'staycation' just as everyone else is working hard to make a deadline.

The Office wrote:

I have had an advisory role on a design project at my architecture firm. The PM left on vacation for 10 days right before the deadline (today) so I jumped in, and worked all weekend , to get it over the finish line.

Today, I ask her about her vacation and she said she was gone for the first weekend but then just bummed around at home for the next week. I was willing to support her if she had a long planned out-of-town trip but I just couldn’t imagine sitting out a major deadline while someone else covered for me.

The captain goes down with the ship.

She had a vacation scheduled. Presumably, it was approved. What she does on her vacation time is absolutely none of your business. In fact it's kinda creepy that you think you have a right to an opinion on this.

Work is not the most important thing in life and needs to take a backseat sometimes. Deal with it.

nation of bums wrote:

consider this wrote:

Two thoughts: women are much less dedicated to their jobs than men, and she has the vacation time so it's her business what she does with it.

True, and not to absolve the rest of the team of any blame but it's a dickmove to take a 'staycation' just as everyone else is working hard to make a deadline.

A lot of jobs are a steady stream of deadlines. If you keep waiting for a 'good time' to take a vacation, it never comes. Smart people wisen up and schedule time off ahead of time and honor that scheduled (and needed) time off rather than bow down to the demands of the job ever time. If you do that then it becomes expected and sends a message to the company not to value your time because you don't seem to.

Also, why the heck are people upset about the 'staycation' part? So it would be ok if she was slamming drinks on a beach on Mexico, but her staying home makes you upset? Weird.

It's the same mindset of bosses that expect you to stay unless you 'have plans.' The result is extroverts leave on time because they have a bro-date at Buffalo Wild Wings and introverts get roped into staying late. Except for me. I tell them I have a plan....to go home.

consider this wrote:

...women are much less dedicated to their jobs than men.

wtf? The 1950s called - it wants its attitudes back.

hard work wrote:

consider this wrote:

...women are much less dedicated to their jobs than men.

wtf? The 1950s called - it wants its attitudes back.

Well, as harsh as it may sound, it is mostly true for women under 50 (read, with younger kids and/or spouse/partner they feel they need to take care of). My female employees are as dedicated, if not more, as male, as long as I am comparing 25yo - 45yo males to 50yo- until retirement females. Younger female employees are about as dedicated as older male employees. They don't give as much fvck if the work is done and deadlines met (unless a big trouble looms above them). I like to joke that hormones are responsible for that, although it may be true only for the group of older men (lack of drive = lack of testosterone). Sue me if you want to, but I prefer older, experienced women as compared to men of same age, when hiring, if otherwise the candidates are comparable with their skill set. The opposite is applied for younger candidates.

As for the OP, since you are a colleague and not her boss, why the fvck you care? You could have refused to jump in for her, although, she might have done the same for you, when you wanted a vacation. And you could have planned the work better in order to have the weekend for yourself. Are you angry at yourself for bad time management, or at her for bumming around at home?

That being said, if I was her boss, and somehow learned about her decision to sit out a major deadline, I would for sure remember that in case of future salary negotiation, promotion, or bonuses. It's her decision, but so would be mine to consider her attitude toward her colleagues and firm. Every decision has its consequences.

OP means she did all the work and he jumped at the chance to finish and take all the credit.

What industry are you in that has such a diverse workforce? I may be stuck in my tech/FAANG bubble but don’t really see such a wide variety of ages/sexes.

My current job has a call center and its 90% women that are either single with kids or have a bf they cheat on. Gossip is very common and hating on men is an ice breaker between them. Have seen a couple of new guys work in the office that got involved and they had their reputations destroyed over rumors that the guys were able to prove were rumors but it didn’t matter. None of the women have goals of advancing and are content with answering phones and gossiping for the rest of their lives. The older ones don’t do it as much but the ages 20-40 it would be unusual for a girl to not behave like that. Just my observations over the past 10 years.

Forrest Child wrote:

As for the OP, since you are a colleague and not her boss, why the fvck you care? You could have refused to jump in for her, although, she might have done the same for you, when you wanted a vacation. And you could have planned the work better in order to have the weekend for yourself. Are you angry at yourself for bad time management, or at her for bumming around at home?

We are both senior staff with our own projects and while she took 10 days off I did double-duty to see my project continue on while helping her team meet their deadline. I had been advising them along the way so I was really in the best position, among other peers, to take over on a temp basis.

I was willing to do it, I always am, until I learned that she was sittting around at home (her own description) while I had worked a 60 hour week and gave up my weekend to make her deadline.

Like a coach, a ship captain, a military leader, or anyone leading a team - it is your responsibility to finish the job.

I thought I was carrying the ball for a teammate but found out they just stayed in the locker room after halftime.

consider this wrote:

women are much less dedicated to their jobs than men.

Welcome to letsrun!!!

I like to joke that hormones are responsible ...

Oh, you're that guy.

Legal, but very specific (IP field).

Yes, since I was applying that joke towards men, and I kept it to informal chat with my partners that are (bite it) also men. The best paid employees are women over 50. They get paid almost as much as partners make, because we value their dedication and no-nonsense attitude.

Face it - hormones indeed play a huge role in our lives, workforce is not excluded. PC does not need to be applied.

I was going to agree with you op, but then realized she was away for the weekend you worked for her, so I’m not really sure how the staycation (other than that being a stupid thing) thing matters.

She probably should have worked the weekend before, but then may have seen on track at that point.

Basically she booked a vacation in advance and arranged for someone to cover her, I don’t really see the problem

If she was in town over the weekend sure she should have gone and helped, but she wasn’t

*but everything may have

It sounds like you should be annoyed with management not your coworker. If there is not a good way for work to be covered while people go on vacation, that is poor management. Typically also if I am covering work for a coworker I make an effort to see where things are and what the deadlines are and what my deadlines are and plan, so there is no emergencies requiring a ridiculously long week to get it done. It requires planning, it sounds like a lack of planning on your part and management is what caused this situation.

Studies have shown people who use all of their allotted vacation get more promotions and more raises...maybe think about that with regard to how you handled this situation...

Also as an engineer myself, I typically don't do much whining about a 60 hour week, they happen, semi-frequently, its part of the gig.

Well said. On an unrelated note, how do you post with the prior message appearing in a box in the same post? I've been on here for years and I've never figured that one out.

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RE: I worked all weekend for co-worker on staycation

what kinda math is this?

nation of bums wrote:

consider this wrote:

Two thoughts: women are much less dedicated to their jobs than men, and she has the vacation time so it's her business what she does with it.

True, and not to absolve the rest of the team of any blame but it's a dickmove to take a 'staycation' just as everyone else is working hard to make a deadline.

A lot of jobs are a steady stream of deadlines. If you keep waiting for a 'good time' to take a vacation, it never comes. Smart people wisen up and schedule time off ahead of time and honor that scheduled (and needed) time off rather than bow down to the demands of the job ever time. If you do that then it becomes expected and sends a message to the company not to value your time because you don't seem to.

Also, why the heck are people upset about the 'staycation' part? So it would be ok if she was slamming drinks on a beach on Mexico, but her staying home makes you upset? Weird.

It's the same mindset of bosses that expect you to stay unless you 'have plans.' The result is extroverts leave on time because they have a bro-date at Buffalo Wild Wings and introverts get roped into staying late. Except for me. I tell them I have a plan....to go home.

Disagree entirely on this. In my experience, if you want someone with the most dedication to a job, the best type of employee is young and female (i.e. up until about age 30). Obviously exceptions exist, but the general characteristic is that they are insecure and terrified of appearing incompetent and work themselves much harder than any other group I've come across.

The other type of employee with crazy dedication is the career-oholic, male or female. The ideal candidate is unmarried or divorced with no kids and their job is their hobby.