Great Lakes Relay 2017

The course will not be released. The organizers wanted to add to the challenge.

Meat Train is done. Put a fork in them. I heard they only have 5 guys.

Brendan M hasn't been seen since. July 2015.

I can confirm that Bennett's shorts are in Sunday form already.

Miles K is on meat train this year. For realz!

Bearforce lost 3 of their beariest bears. Look for them to struggle this year.

420 miler?!? wrote:

Bearforce lost 3 of their beariest bears. Look for them to struggle this year.

The FAKE NEWS MEDIA is at it again. They are so wrong, trying to slander the BEARS. Sad!

Tom Petty - Thank you for a formal posting. Way too many poser threads starting to evolve on LR. We all know we only need one thread as we know we are all already too stressed about navigating the UP of Michigan and do not need to waste time navigating the LR threads for the plethora of poser GLR threads.

I think the best news of the day is that the bear force has lost some man force. Although this is not ideal for the general moral of the weekend, there now may be a chance for the remaining GLR'ers to have some food on nights 2 &3 as the race directors seem to be concerned. Let's all be honest, we all would not stand a chance against their hairiest man power force.

I also think you can add that Brendan Molony is indeed still running the 2015, although I did hear he will occasionally run to KZoo for work, states he wants to save his carbon foot print on the world. Either way, all those miles will have him in prime shape.

Another unknown - How will Zacchaeus Widner survive for 2-3 days without reliable internet service to snap his every move. This may bring Bozorg down despite Bennett P's wicked shorts.

There comes a time in every bear's life when they must shed the coat of bear cub and become fully realized as a true Bear. This is no easy task for many daunting trials lay ahead. "What are these trials?", you may ask. Specifics may never be known as each cub must overcome a unique set of obstacles to ascend to proper Bear-hood. Sources indicate one Bear has crossed the Great Lake to the west to the land dairy and beer. Fornit is known, copious beer consumption lies at the heart, and liver, of every Bear. His return was fortold in the chest hair of the elders.

I think 2017 may be the biggest overhaul the GLR yet. With the lack of a true course map and the abolishing of all formal rules, this years race will truly be as unpredictable as ever.

Teams that naturally cheat and fight dirty will likely find themselves at the top. Those teams with a moral code and an ethic will find themselves hamstrung by their inability to see the dirty plays that will be necessary to win.

Look for meat train to win the open divison now that their well known "tangents" can no longer get them disqualified. Look for bozorg's "mixed" divison title to come with an asterisk, as Bennett fails to run his females and relies heavily on his thoroughbred race horse who supposedly self identifies as a 90 year old female human.

Vegas already has all but crowned this years winner but I wouldn't count out a miracle yet. Nick Thalen has gotten desperate over the years and sources close to him say that he may have been able to sign master runner Ruben "50 minute 10 miler over the hills of grand rapids" Henderson. This would change the whole landscape of the relay.

Stay healthy everyone.

No one will come to GLR if Ruben will be there. Plus, I do not believe Thelen is that desperate. In previous posts it has been rumored MeatFlop has signed the true master's gem, Rob Hyde. Hyde would chew Ruben out and eat him for dinner after BearForce eats all the food that weekend. Many others would contribute to this cannibalism out of pure hate of hearing of Ruben's erroneous workouts that he 'completed.'

Wow...thats post burns hotter than EMU alumni's tent.

The burning tent belonged to WMU the keg belonged to EMU.

Theloun wrote:

The burning tent belonged to WMU the keg belonged to EMU.

Negative. The keg was claimed by Ace from EMU (what a guy, for real), but the keg was 100% a Captain Ahab and the Moby Dicks idea. They executed it flawlessly until a few EMU guys decided to run around being awesome and streaking slash peeing into SVSU guys' tents (and on the SVSU guys' moms' RVs), which led to the need for somebody to be disqualified that year. Ace took the heat like the man that he is, leaving Captain Ahab and the Moby Dicks to fill water jugs with leftover beer before departing for Day 3, 2007.

I know more than you. You're welcome.

Thank Goodness wrote:

after BearForce eats all the food that weekend'

BearForce doesnt eat human food, they eat humans as food and there will be plenty of slow/lost meals to satisfy their appetit

This Ace sounds like a cool dude. Will he be participating in the 2017 version of GLR?

Judging by the lack of passion in this year's GLR discussion thread, coupled with the fact that even the best teams are having recruitment issues, is it safe to say that this year's relay is dead?

Does anyone care about which team can avoid getting lost the longest in the barren wasteland and lawless upper peninsula?

You heard it here first.

No Power Ranker? No Jared Fogel? Where is Swami of the GLR?

This thread is as dead as the Clayton Murphy's medal chances in London.

This thread will rise up and revive after three days of death like our true savior and Lord:

Shane Logan

Still several weeks until the race. Did anyone pick up Ritz to be on their team?

We are 16 days out--This is the typical time frame for Bennett P to fire his entire roster and sign guys off of waivers. He's already tweeted at Nick Symmonds.

Also, Maverick Darling will have a team this year. Look for the Badgers to come hunting.

Power ranker isn't running this year. Same with Jared Fogle. Swami of the glr still has 3 open spots on his team and is too busy recruiting anyone who can break 20 miles for 5k. 420 miler didn't want to go to the UP so his team disbanded. Miles Ks team also isn't running.

I come not to praise GLR but to bury GLR.

Inside Man wrote:

We are 16 days out--

InsideMan's team is confused. On the one hand they will definitely be in first place the whole way with plenty of food in the restaurants. Possible downsides include: no course map still and also the race will not be occurring for several more days yet.

the only thing that will save GLR is the return of Gina Sereno