She was once a runner

Wow. As a male who didn't run in college that blog is really depressing. I obviously know that our sport has an eating disorder problem but that just seems so over the top.

That blog story is so true for more collegiate runners than you or the running community will ever know.

Wow, some of those stories were eerily similar to my college experience...

#First world problems

Her description of the boys team and their attitudes/antics are spot on.

BOO F***ING HOO. You don't like the way you are treated? Transfer.

THe problem with that blog is I feel like the writer is the reason why so many women's experiences in college suck. She wants to expose what's wrong with the system, but she also seems so jealous and bitter and mean about her teammates that she reminds me of the girls that were total poison to run with. I ran with so many wonderful, positive women that I have lifelong friendships with, but there were also girls like her who were more invested in being nasty, envious and entitled, and gossiping about their teammates rather than running. For example, when she finds out her roommate has bulemia (and seriously, that is the longest most obvious buildup ever for something we all know by like the second post) she doesn't offer to help her, or talk to her, or offer any support- she just decides to tell the coach and move out and gets all offended when the coach suggests maybe there's some jealousy at work. Or when she's running pre-nats and instead of focusing on her own warmup and race she seems to spend her time looking at how skinny other runners are and then wonders why she doesn't run well. Nothing in what she writes makes her seem like a positive or supportive teammate or someone who adds anything to the running experience - everything is someone else's fault, every girl who runs well has an ed, she seems to feel entitled to performances without putting in the work or mental effort and then blames others when she doesn't run well, etc. She just seems so whiny and bitter that any of the good points she is making about serious problems with the system get lost in my total dislike for her as a person.

girl runner wrote:

For example, when she finds out her roommate has bulemia (and seriously, that is the longest most obvious buildup ever for something we all know by like the second post) she doesn't offer to help her, or talk to her, or offer any support- she just decides to tell the coach and move out and gets all offended when the coach suggests maybe there's some jealousy at work.

The coach is obviously a jerk. Apparently you agree with him and think bulemia is okay.

It sounds to me that her roommate was not very friendly, so I see no reason why she would have tried to talk with her.

I would have definitely moved out, and would not have talked with the coach, because of his already established abusive attitude. Her Mom had the best advice, to drop out of the program and move home. The runner probably didn't want to give up on the program and the coach, but that is the best thing that she could have done.

Where do I say I agree with the coach? But if I find out a friend/teammate has a serious mental and physical illness, I don't just think how quickly I can inform on them, I think about how I can offer support - like maybe letting her know you know she has a problem, offering to take her to a counsellor, expressing concern and love for her, suggesting we go together to see the coach, maybe try to convince her to talk to her parents (and if that doesn't work, letting her know I'm talking to the coach and to her parents or a doctor because I want her to get the help she needs) - all of those things seem more productive than just going "ew, disgusting, I thought she was so perfect and now it turns out she has a disgusting disorder, I'll run right to the coach and bitch about her" instead of offering any help or support. And when the coach doesn't listen does she go to see a doctor or counselor to figure out what to do or does she just get resentful and jealous? Is there any thing in that blog that shows any compassion or concern for her teammate, or does she call her "disgusting" and then get pissed that she's still considered perfect by the coach? THis isn't a teammate genuinely concerned about something that could kill or seriously damage her teammates health, she just seems like a bitch who's glad to have her teammate exposed as less pretty and perfect than she thought she was.

So jerkwad coach somehow recruits insecure girl who reacts in a snarky way against her teammates. What are the odds?

In a way, there is a karmic symmetry in how dysfunctional people in any system find each other to dance the "masochism tango". Of course, it is up to the coach to be the one to be the adult and put a stop to this kind of culture, but having seen it close hand, I'll wager that he won't change something if it "ain't broke" in his shallow, short-term, win-at-all-costs view of things.

This is nothing like my experience in college. I was wondering if it was all fictionalized, but apparently it rings true to some of you.

The only thing that seemed reasonable to me were the parents. If they're told their daughter needs to run fast and lose 10 pounds to keep her $40k/yr scholarship, I could see why they might pressure her to do so.

As far as eating disorders are concerned, I agree it's better to talk to the person. Talking to the coach makes it sound like she's trying to take her teammate down a peg. I also don't understand why she would try to change rooms -- the first thing I would do is yell at the roommate for leaving the bathroom a mess!

And finally, as far as rich kids partying -- at first I was pissed off about this myself when I got to college, but I basically realized that these people are helping me get good grades -- someone needs to be at the bottom of the curve. Their partying doesn't hurt me, so why should I care?

This dichotomy of concern versus digust that you point out make me think that a lot of the story is fictionalized if not entirely fictional.

the writer is a nut job, from the first post - she can tell if she's going to have a good run in 75 seconds!! A normal person is barely moving/ still loosening up for the first few minutes or so.

Yeah, no offense, but at the more I go back in the posts, the more of a bitch the author sounds like.

"The gun shot off. Jennifer charged to the front with Sandra on her heels. I stayed further back in the pack. One hundred meters into the race and I already felt drained and dehydrated. Karen*, our team’s co-captain, stayed by my side, wheezing the entire time. I hated running next to her because she breathed loudly and heavily, and that’s not a good sound to hear when you’re trying to convince yourself you’re not tired.

Karen and I did not communicate or work together throughout the 3.1 miles. I followed the curve around the baseball field and felt Karen elbow her way onto the inside of me so she could cut the tangent off, along with my stride. I was getting knocked around by my captain in an event that no longer felt like a race, but merely target practice amongst teammates. I watched dejectedly as she kicked it in, ahead of me.

At the finish chute, she had the nerve to offer me a handshake. “Good race,” she cheered.

“Yeah, right,” I heard myself saying ,sarcastically. “You cut me off, and you cut off some of the course. Nice move!”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I was so out of it. You really made me work!”

I rolled my eyes at her backhanded compliment and walked away before I could say anything worse."

Really?

Who cares if she's a bitch or unlikable? It's obviously a work of fiction.

(somber) wrote:

That blog story is so true for more collegiate runners than you or the running community will ever know.

Can you give us some examples? Some real-world stories from other runners would be really helpful to all of us.

After four years of watching stuff like is described in this blog on the women's team at my school and knowing some of those women pretty well, I think it is fairly safe to conclude those girls are crazy. Don't get me wrong, the girls at my school were great girls, but when it came to food it was like they were a different person and they lost all ability to logically think, especially when you grouped them together as was almost always the case in cross/track, they lived together, trained together, ate together, and all their crazy got mixed together and their irrational thinking just pulled up and compounded together. I am pretty sure (after talking with most of them pretty in depth about it over a period of four years) most of the time it really had nothing to do with wanting to run faster but EVERYTHING TO DO WITH 1) WANTING ATTENTION and 2) COMPETING WITH OTHER GIRLS ON THE TEAM AT WHO COULD "EAT THE BEST". It was asinine. What is interesting is now 7 years later I am still pretty close to 3 of them and none of them no longer have the problems with eating (or not) now that they do not live together, even though they are still fairly competitive runners.

So to sum it up, in all seriousness, 1) girls can be "a little" illogical at times, especially when you put them around each other 24/7 and especially when it comes to food and guys. 2) I'd say 60% of the time when it comes to girl runners eating disorders have nothing to do with running but are just a way to get attention and 3) 30% of those not doing it for attention are not doing it for running either, they are doing it to "beat" their roommate because even though they are "BFF" secretly they don't like each other (and again this is mainly because they live together which I believe takes any normal girl and makes her a bit crazy).

wepmad wrote:

(somber) wrote:

That blog story is so true for more collegiate runners than you or the running community will ever know.

Can you give us some examples? Some real-world stories from other runners would be really helpful to all of us.

Fiction or not, anyone who doesn't think this type of thing doesn't currently go on at many DI schools is incredibly optimistic - but most likely delusional.

Even coaches that don't want to promote eating disorders have trouble properly dealing with them. Obviously the athlete herself is in denial and pretty much never wants treatment. And if you are just going to go by what other athletes are saying or by looks, where do you draw the line? There are few reliable objective measurements.

The truth is there it would be incredibly difficult to find one DI team that didn't have at least one girl with an eating disorder.

Unfortunately, some teams seem to breed them and this often has to do with the callousness of the coach - many going far enough to encourage it.

I dont know where you are going to find "real-world" stories as most women don't want to have this very personal issue widely publicized, but that doesn't mean that these things aren't going on. Just take a close look at the women competing at Pre-nats and NCAA's each fall.

Wow, I can see why she no longer runs. And why I do.