Wife cheated, son is not mine. Advice?

DD - I have to be honest, this does seem like more of a troll post now. How ironic this situation occurs?

I want to believe you, but this turn of events is close to unimaginable. "old family friend". Come on...

Easy to do wrote:

The father (not the biological one but still the father) has every right to take a swab for a DNA test.

The mother is at fault here. And the kid will go through a challenging time. Depending on the state, the OP likely will owe child support.

There is why men are going their own way.

They are?

Time to re-frame yourself from Distraught Dad to Cuckolded Beta!

Haha thank you for calling me out, but I am not a troll. I have my fair share of proud troll posts out there, but this is simply me coping.

When I spoke to the lawyer, I was informed that we are a no-fault divorce state (Oregon). He said that if I were to get moved out/kicked out that it is vital that it was consensual. I did not "abandon" my family. My wife consented that I should move out of the house, and I even got her to text that to me so it is in some form of writing.

Not sure why I am even trying to defend myself here. Feel free to think I am a troll, but as I said, this is simply a place where I am trying to let out some stress. Thanks though for the little laugh, the giph was funny.

-DD

Unless you keep the kid as your own, you are not a dad. Parents are not those that donate reproductive fluids. Parents are those who raise the kid.

I don't see how you don't destroy here in courts.

Surely, the cheating and then making a child with another man show she destroyed the mariage alone.

He is 4 years old, not 20 years old.

What if his real father come to claim him back?

DontLikeIt wrote:

I don't see how you don't destroy here in courts.

Surely, the cheating and then making a child with another man show she destroyed the mariage alone.

Not sure you have any experience in divorce court. Courts generally do not care a bit about who destroyed the marriage.

Sometimes, occasionally, it plays a role if there is alimony at issue. Generally even there it is much, much easier for the court to just follow the standard practice.

sbeefyk2 wrote:

Unless you keep the kid as your own, you are not a dad. Parents are not those that donate reproductive fluids. Parents are those who raise the kid.

Lol what a loser. Keep raising someone else’s kid like a b1tch while he continues to pound your wife.

Sorry it's so rough. But, you haven't lost yourself.

You should require the attorney to fire that assistant. You had a right to attorney-client privacy and the assistant violated it!

I'm still trying to wrap my head around how a male, who is not the father of the baby that was conceived out of wedlock, is responsible for paying child support for that baby. That seems absolutely asinine to me. I understand that he WAS paying for the child and their needs but that was only because he thought the baby was he and his wife's together. Now that it's not because SHE cheated, he should 1000% not be financially on the hook for anything.

As soon as you get time start researching similar cases in Oregon family law.

This cannot be the first time this has ever happened, especially in Oregon. ;)

Sorry it's so rough. But, you haven't lost yourself.

You should require the attorney to fire that assistant. You had a right to attorney-client privacy and the assistant violated it![/quote]

Well, technically the secretary isn't an attorney so there is no attorney–client privilege violation.

Wow woah wrote:

Sorry it's so rough. But, you haven't lost yourself.

You should require the attorney to fire that assistant. You had a right to attorney-client privacy and the assistant violated it!

Well, technically the secretary isn't an attorney so there is no attorney–client privilege violation.

(Fixed my own post. Gotta learn how to quote correctly apparently)

Awful situation.

If I was inside your head, I would try to get these moves into action:

- Immediate divorce based on exclusive fault of the wife

- Breaking the legal link with the child to avoid paying anything for the children of another man

- Moving far from this mess physically and moving all your own savings in a safe place to restart a new life clean

I am no expert in state laws but these three things should be your priorities.

Dear DD,

God bless you brother. Lot of people here are harsh, maybe some of it is healthy though. My wife is pregnant and this is my paranoia or perhaps my anxiety of becoming a father.

Deciding to be there for this kid or not will be one of the hardest decisions a man could make. Either decision, you’re still a man.

Stay you. Get on some testosterone and forget breaking 15...go for sub 14....then slay all the 22 year old club runner nookie you can get.

Godspeed.

You be like..

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d2_74M7b5o8

I would definitely make a complaint with said lawyer about his secretary if all that is true. How can a lawyer have a secretary out breaching confidentiality? Would look seriously bad for future clients.

Go to every other top divorce attorney office where ever you are; and get their "free" consultation.

Then, when she calls, they cannot take the case, as it will be a conflict of interest. She'll have to work herself down the lawyer list.