Wife cheated, son is not mine. Advice?

Real Advice from a Real Man wrote:

Do NOT break the news at all.

You have a son regardless of whether he is biologically related to you. Any man who could raise a child for four years and then toss him overboard after finding out that the child's genes did not come from you is barely human, let alone a real man. Be a man.

So, you have a son. That statement in and of itself should tell you what your #1 priority should be. Here, let me spell it out for you:

#1 Priority = Your son

Now, with that straight, your first though needs to be, how do you best protect your son. Here are a few hints:

1) It is not by running away.

2) It is not by ceding control to the biological father

3) It is not by ceding control to the mother

It is by you retaining as much control over his upbringing as possible. And that means not bringing up the issue of biological parenthood.

So, in conclusion:

1) Be a man. See that your son has the best possible upbringing.

2) Divorce if you wish, but do not bring up the issue of biological parenthood

ghruogmaolbmihib wrote:

1. Divorce her for infidelity, but don't bring up anything about your son's biological parentage. Just proceed with the divorce as if infidelity by itself is the sole reason.

2. As part of the divorce, be sure to get at much custody of your son as you can. Again, don't question biological parentage, or give your wife any reason to make that an issue. She might just assume your son is yours biologically too.

I'm not a lawyer, but hopefully if you get divorced and end up with joint custody at least, you'll stay in your son's life regardless of biological parentage. It would be tough for her to cut off custody post-divorce settlement by coming along later and showing you weren't the biological father. When it's the other way around, men don't get out of child support just because they find out the kid was never biologically theirs. So the same principle should apply here, and it will work to your and your son's benefit.

Real Advice from a Real Man wrote:

Do NOT break the news at all.

You have a son regardless of whether he is biologically related to you. Any man who could raise a child for four years and then toss him overboard after finding out that the child's genes did not come from you is barely human, let alone a real man. Be a man.

So, you have a son. That statement in and of itself should tell you what your #1 priority should be. Here, let me spell it out for you:

#1 Priority = Your son

Now, with that straight, your first though needs to be, how do you best protect your son. Here are a few hints:

1) It is not by running away.

2) It is not by ceding control to the biological father

3) It is not by ceding control to the mother

It is by you retaining as much control over his upbringing as possible. And that means not bringing up the issue of biological parenthood.

So, in conclusion:

1) Be a man. See that your son has the best possible upbringing.

2) Divorce if you wish, but do not bring up the issue of biological parenthood

Equal Male Rights wrote:

I know this one wrote:

Same thing happened to my brother in law. He ended up still being liable for paying child support.

The woman named the kid after my brother in law. The biological father is in prison and my brother in law supported the kid for two years so the judge is requiring continued child support. Seems whacky, but he lives in CA.

This is why we need to protest for male rights. The SJWs have long been controlled by the feminists. It is time for guys to take back control. Requiring a guy to pay for child support for a child that he is not even his is just slavery. Why don't we ever hear women being forced to pay for child support for a child that is not their's? The answer is that women is do as I say, not as I lay.

Equal Male Rights wrote:

I know this one wrote:

Same thing happened to my brother in law. He ended up still being liable for paying child support.

The woman named the kid after my brother in law. The biological father is in prison and my brother in law supported the kid for two years so the judge is requiring continued child support. Seems whacky, but he lives in CA.

This is why we need to protest for male rights. The SJWs have long been controlled by the feminists. It is time for guys to take back control. Requiring a guy to pay for child support for a child that he is not even his is just slavery. Why don't we ever hear women being forced to pay for child support for a child that is not their's? The answer is that women is do as I say, not as I lay.

my life just got better thanks wrote:

Real Advice from a Real Man wrote:

Do NOT break the news at all.

You have a son regardless of whether he is biologically related to you. Any man who could raise a child for four years and then toss him overboard after finding out that the child's genes did not come from you is barely human, let alone a real man. Be a man.

So, you have a son. That statement in and of itself should tell you what your #1 priority should be. Here, let me spell it out for you:

#1 Priority = Your son

Now, with that straight, your first though needs to be, how do you best protect your son. Here are a few hints:

1) It is not by running away.

2) It is not by ceding control to the biological father

3) It is not by ceding control to the mother

It is by you retaining as much control over his upbringing as possible. And that means not bringing up the issue of biological parenthood.

So, in conclusion:

1) Be a man. See that your son has the best possible upbringing.

2) Divorce if you wish, but do not bring up the issue of biological parenthood

This is convincing. It feels like the right thing to do in a world where things happen the way they are supposed to.

"Speaking as a lawyer: You need to get a lawyer, immediately.

You've already made up your mind to divorce her, so you'll likely need a lawyer for that; but what you *really* need legal advice for is how to handle the supporting of the child.

Depending on the jurisdiction, your continuing to support the child--now that you know it's not yours--can be prima facie evidence that you accept the situation, in which case you could be on the hook until the child is 18 (or even older, again depending on the jurisdiction).

YOU NEED A LAWYER NOW. Hiring one yesterday would have been good; failing that, get one Monday and not later.

This is entirely serious. Good legal advice ain't necessarily cheap, but potentially it could save you a huge sum.

Good luck."

This is more convincing. This is based on how the world actually is. Listen to the lawyer; they've seen people go through this exact same thing before. They know how it plays out. At the very least talk to one, on Monday!, even if you decide not to retain them.

The public policy reason wrote:

[quote]Equal Male Rights wrote:

The reason for this policy actually has nothing to do with “protecting women’s rights etc, reason is to protect the child’s rights. We can all fight over the cheating and how bad we feel for the guy who got cheated on, but everyone agrees that the child who was born from a cheating parent is 100% innocent and it sucks for them. To protect the innocent child’s interests, courts basically say “if the guy provides support for the first few years, he acted like he wanted to be a father so we will treat him like one.” Otherwise you would get cases where dads want to skip out on being a dad after 15 years, so they start testing for DNA to find an out.

In some jurisdictions, providing support allows you to petition for visitation, shared custody. So theoretically you could have a father of a child with all the legal standing of a father, but who is not related by blood. Basically, an automatic adoption by operation the the legal system.

The policy basically just promotes financial stability in a child’s life, which we can all agree, is a good thing.