What do guys actually look for in a girl?

Looks wise, I don’t really have a type - one characteristic that makes me attrcated to one woman might not attract me to another. I do like women who smile a lot though and I suppose the poster who said about looking healthy being the most important thing. I don’t have some unrealistic standards, I just don’t find super skinny or super obese and flabby attractive and honestly I wouldn’t care if they were a little overweight as having a little bit of excess fat isn’t necessarily the most unhealthy thing in the world but I definitely want somebody who plans on maximising their lifespan so that we can spend many happy healthy years together. If that person falls ill despite making an effort with their health I would stick by them. I would also want a woman who could engage in recreational activities with me that require a bit of fitness, I’m not talking about her being in insane shape, running a 6 minute mile or benching her bodyweight but I definitely do not want a chick who gets winded after climbing half a flight of stairs, being a regular cigarette smoker is an instant off-put. It would be great to have a girl who was a runner/gym girl but it isn't really the most important thing, I just want a girl who cares about her body and is in reasonable enough shape because I would like to take her hiking and show her my favourite spots. I also love swimming, free diving and going skinny dipping so it would be cool if she liked the water.

Personality wise, I am attracted to girls who know how to use their minds and think for themself. I do not want a girl who acts stupid and thinks it’s cute to get attention or girls who just agree with everything you say to get what they want, I like a girl who can form her own opinion, has her own passions and interest and wants to share them with you. There is nothing more attractive than a girl who wants to show you her world/mind.

perkygirl18 wrote:

My girlfriends and i were discussing this, but i want to here what you guys actually want in a girl. Discus.

Loyalty.

Reminderer Man wrote:

Reminder Man wrote:

For the most part, it's objective.

Not really.

For the weak-minded (I include you and 98% of the population in that category), peer pressure and looking for cues from others leads people to have purport to have similar tastes. In reality, there is wide variation in what is considered to be attractive.

About the only things that are universally considered to be distasteful are morbid obesity, skeletal looks, and other clear signs of ill health (horrible skin, terrible stench, and so forth). And only the opposite of these things (general decent health) is universally considered to be attractive.

No, there is not. We evolved to like attractive faces for a reason, they signal health. Characteristics are universally attractive, and at least one study found that the standard deviation in how people rated looks was around 0.5. This means that the majority of people will see someone who is collectively rated a 7 as between 6.5 and 7.5 Almost everyone will see that person as 5.5 (above average) to 8.5 (crazy hot). That's quite objective.

Yes, different people have different preferences, but in general the same qualities are attractive. Obviously symmetry everyone knows about, but thinks like high, forward grown cheekbones, good eye support, good eye shape, forward growth of the face, lack of fat on the face especially under the chin, clear bone structure, etc. are all universally attractive.

Nobody is going to look at someone like this:

Or this:

And say they are unattractive. A few might say they are "cute" rather than downright hot or so, but nobody is going to ever call either of those two people average. Not happening. Ever. The vast majority, probably 95% of people will call both of these individuals extremely attractive.

On the other hand, here is someone who is just a little above average:

Again, almost no one is going to say OMG this guy is crazy hot (7+), nor is anyone going to say he is definitively unattractive (4.5-). Most will probably say he is around average to perhaps cute (6). A few might find him closer to hot, but those will be outliers.

or for a female equivalent:

She is around average. Some guys will find here to be "cute", some will find her to be slightly unattractive. Only a very tiny portion will find her ugly (sub 4) or downright hot (7).

Bottom line, that's really not much deviation. Good faces are good for biological reasons.

In that case how come fatties can get a date and I can’t ?

No ink wrote:

No one has brought this up yet, but for me tattoos are a big no-no

Definitely agree with this - I think I've seen about one tattoo in my life that actually looked good. It's hard enough to find someone and now there is a whole additional number of women that rule themselves out right away...

One must ask wrote:

In that case how come fatties can get a date and I can’t ?

You replied to me. Not sure what you're asking. My post was talking purely about physical attractiveness, specifically facial attractiveness.

That's just one component of overall attractiveness, which is based on many things. Why can't you get a date? Who knows. Maybe you're on the shy side, maybe you don't put yourself out there (pretty much necessary if you're not 7+), maybe you're too needy, maybe you're too much of an a$$hole (although, this usually results in occasional short term success), maybe you're too picky, etc.

Have been around long enough to meet and date all kinds of women.

Women are equally as competitive as men, have 'checklists', want to get the best relationship for themselves.

I look for a woman who is honest all the time, no matter what.

I'll find out how honest she is through screening her if we develop a relationship.

I respect women who are very happy and content being single. That's a great sign.

The main thing I look for in a woman is a penis

For women over 50, a nurse or a purse.

Sorry dude, go throughout history and you will see that what is considered attractive varies by the times. Check out Rubenesque women - considered very attractive in the past, wouldn't fly now.

Alabaster skin used to be in demand, then it was tans, etc.

People's preferences are driven by trends, just like cars, clothes, hairstyles. Attractiveness is not objective (within reason).

asdfsdfsdf wrote:

Attractiveness is not objective (within reason).

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

I read a study once that said it was objective. They showed infants and children pictures of a variety of people and the children showed a preference for good looking people. They were able to determine that the proportion of facial features and their arrangement was what defined beauty.

old guy 73 wrote:

asdfsdfsdf wrote:

Attractiveness is not objective (within reason).

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

I read a study once that said it was objective. They showed infants and children pictures of a variety of people and the children showed a preference for good looking people. They were able to determine that the proportion of facial features and their arrangement was what defined beauty.

I thought (subjectively) that Kate Jackson was the most attractive of Charlie’s angels. Most would objectively say that Farrah was...

The ability to suck a golf ball through a garden hose, or as they say in the South, the ability to suck the chrome off a trailer hitch.

I think of a man and I take away reason and accountability- Melvin Udall

Availability.

swallows

i know what guys arent looking for:

muffin tops

smokers

dirty feet

perkygirl18 wrote:

My girlfriends and i were discussing this, but i want to here what you guys actually want in a girl. Discus.

cut the crap the only thing 99 percent of letsrunners look for in a girl is that they say yes to them.

You're very, very right when it comes to body composition and things of that nature as well as skin coloration. However, the basic ingredients even there haven't changed much. Women with a narrow waist and wide hips have always been a preferred shape, some times with more fat, some times with less, because of the birthing health it signifies. Same for men with broad shoulders, narrow hips, bigger wrists, and a thicker neck.

Skin coloration preferences, actual body composition preferences, obviously style preferences, etc. have all changed dramatically as you said.

One other thing is all the factors you mentioned are overall appearance factors. My post was specifically directed at facial attractivness, which is fairly objective. When over 90% of people rate within 1 point of the mean, that to me is much more objective than subjective, and the qualities we like in faces remain the same no matter who. In the case of women: high set, forward and laterally grown cheekbones, forward grown midface, bigger eyes but with minimal eyelid exposure, no showing of the whites of the eye on the bottom, nice shape to medial canthus, horizontally longer than tall, facially no too long and narrow ("wider" face), promiment, defined jawline (but more curved and "softer"), full head of hair with a low hairline, good eyebrows, symmetry and facial harmony, etc.

Nobody finds these things unattractive. Variations on a theme yes. I.e. one guy might have a preference for women with a more masculine, angular chin whereas another might like a (still defined) softer, rounder chin. Nobody is going to find someone lacking jaw definition as defined as someone with jaw definition. Nobody is going to like someone with poor, hollowed out area under the eyes more than someone with nice, well supported eyes, etc. The good features all have to be there, different people just like different facial phenotypes.

Example:

Both are attractive faces, but depending on preference (often correlated to estrogen and time of the month) women will find one of those two guys to be more attractive than the other. Both guys have all the makings of a very good face I mentioned above, but these are two variations on the same theme. You can clearly see the eyes with good hooding, thick eyebrows, strong brow, very well supported eyes, forward and laterally grown cheekbones gives a nice slope an evenness from eye down to nose in the midface), good jawline with a wide face, and neck around the same size as the head.