Call the girlfriend a d apologize. Then put it behind you. Don't explain or try to clarify your behavior. Just tell her that you are sorry that you upset her, then listen to what she has to say.
Call the girlfriend a d apologize. Then put it behind you. Don't explain or try to clarify your behavior. Just tell her that you are sorry that you upset her, then listen to what she has to say.
Call his gf and offer to show her in person how you intended to use his bed.
Don't call her, don't call him. Send him a text as follows: I'm a man and you have disrespected me. Buy me a beer and we can talk about this face to face and settle this. I have nothing else to say to you until we talk.
Then you name the time and place. If he won't do that, walk away. He's her biatch and as a result he's trying to make you his biatch. What can having a friend like that really do for you?
Beds are personal and off limits. I would expect an adult to know that. He may be acting angrier than he should be but it sounds like you don't actually think you did anything wrong.
Is this guy your best friend? Your boss? Is he someone you have to work very close with professionally?
Unless you have a really compelling reason that you have to stay close to this guy or impress him, I wouldn’t put another second of thought into the whole thing. Forget this “friend” and move on.
haha wrote:
Just ignore both of them, dude. Don't call his gf, don't do anything. He's not a true friend if he's treating you like that. Instead, put your effort into getting back in touch with the girl from the party.
This is the correct response.
They sound like a couple of nutters.
Hypothesis. Your friend’s gf is secretly crushing hard on you. She played it perfectly cause now you have her number with permission to call her.
Experiment. Call her and apologize. Be a gentleman.
Results. Her response. Also, hypothesis reinforced if she starts sending you random texts.
I'm sure all my friends know that grabbing a quickie on my bed during a party would be fine with me.
Believe me wrote:
Hypothesis. Your friend’s gf is secretly crushing hard on you. She played it perfectly cause now you have her number with permission to call her.
Experiment. Call her and apologize. Be a gentleman.
Results. Her response. Also, hypothesis reinforced if she starts sending you random texts.
There is a less than 1% chance this is true.
Do either of them have OCD or something?
You’re “not a fan of long-windedness” yet wrote a long-winded post about the most boring and trivial scenario?
not rudisha wrote:
I'm not a fan of long-windedness, so I'll just give the cliffs.
-A friend invited me to his place for NYE.
-During the course of the party, I started talking to a girl. We were a little tipsy and sneaked into a side room to get away from the party (my friends place is an open concept/"loft style" apartment, so there aren't really well defined rooms or no-go areas
-The girl and I laid down on a bed and cuddled for a bit. Nothing more happened.
-The host's girlfriend spots us on the bed and becomes irate, tells us to get off immediately (which we do) and we apologize and return to the main party
I thought that was the end of it, but apparently our act of lying on her boyfriend's bed upset her beyond description. She's been distraught about it for days. The host wanted me to call him yesterday, which I did...and things got worse. He took a very condescending, threatening and patronizing tone during our call, telling me he "expected better from me" and there was "no excuse" for my behavior. Basically he berated me like a student that was called into the principal's office. At the end, he demanded I call his gf, who I barely know, and apologize.
The whole situation is very strange. If the host just explained to me like an adult that his gf was upset and it would mean a lot to him to apologize, I would. But now he's made it extra weird, shaming me and berating me like a parent to child.
Not sure what I should do here. Advice needed.
Exactly. BORING. Nobody cuddles with someone they just met.
Blah no wrote:
Exactly. BORING. Nobody cuddles with someone they just met.
Welcome to 2019
Believe me wrote:
Hypothesis. Your friend’s gf is secretly crushing hard on you. She played it perfectly cause now you have her number with permission to call her.
Experiment. Call her and apologize. Be a gentleman.
Results. Her response. Also, hypothesis reinforced if she starts sending you random texts.
This. Ask her to lunch to apologize. She’ll say yes.
She ain’t going to let you be friends with your bro anymore anyways. What you have to lose?
Not A Therapist... wrote:My guess would be that she was probably in the room with him or next to him when you two were talking about this...
This was exactly my thought. What your friend said sounds totally scripted, like a hostage (to his nutso gf) who wanted to send you a message that he was make that ridiculous demand under duress. He'd probably been catching all sorts of hell from his gf for days, and finally he caved in and said to his gf: "fine, I'll call him and scold him and tell him to apologize to you! Will you stop yelling at me about it now?"
Rather than be as angry at your friend, have pity on him for being stuck with his gf.
I'd go ahead and clear the air and "apologize" to his gf, if for no other reason so she'll get off HIS back.
Then do like someone else says and text your friend to meet somewhere at a bar, and ask him WTF?
Cut all ties with your idiot "friend" and enjoy your time with the girl you met.
Just tell the gf you are sorry for your actions and move on.
The gf is your stereotypical entitled girl who likes to complain about every little thing in life. I bet she also complains at restaurants if there’s one less ice cube in her water.
She’s the type that is always the victim and will always make everyone know she’s the victim. Honestly I feel bad for your friend. He’s absolutely screwed and odds are he recognizes and doesn’t like her entitled and stuck up personality but he’s afraid to break up with her.
not rudisha wrote:
Ignore them both wrote:
Ignore them both, if he's blowing up that much he's not a real friend of yours.
Now, how did things end up with this girl? Are you still talking to her?
Yup, got her number and hanging out this weekend.
OP, any updates about the girl you met?
rare wrote:
not rudisha wrote:
Yup, got her number and hanging out this weekend.
OP, any updates about the girl you met?
This is getting out of control. I’ll try to keep it short. So ends up she is friends with my friends girlfriend. She had my friend call me to now say her friend was too drunk for consent and she was saving her from an assault. My friend told me this as she won’t let him be friends with a “rapist.” He hung up after. I’m shook guys. WTF.
not rudisha wrote:
rare wrote:
OP, any updates about the girl you met?
This is getting out of control. I’ll try to keep it short. So ends up she is friends with my friends girlfriend. She had my friend call me to now say her friend was too drunk for consent and she was saving her from an assault. My friend told me this as she won’t let him be friends with a “rapist.” He hung up after. I’m shook guys. WTF.
Sounds like another scripted call from your friend, whose crazy sjw gf had a figurative gun to his head at the time. More than ever you need to get together face-to-face with your friend, without his gf knowing, to find out wtf is going on. You don't want to just walk away from it all and have your reputation sullied.
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