Well you don't sound like much fun to be around. I would put you in the friend zone at most.
Well you don't sound like much fun to be around. I would put you in the friend zone at most.
The thing is, how would you feel if you were doing a tempo run or some kind of workout with difficult paces to hit and someone ran alongside you asking questions. What if it was an important workout before a race? Would you answer all of their questions?
From what I can tell, you followed this girl for 5 miles, running behind her. She probably wondered what on earth was going on.
From the conversation, she actually said she did mind if you joined her.
You can tell from her replies she's not interested. They are one word answers, she doesn't ask you any questions or expand on further points. She's not interested in having a conversation.
Now, because sometimes if you tell someone you're not interested in talking they react with anger, tell you to F off or the situation turns aggressive, she can't say that outright without fear of repercussion.
She was doing a time trial and you are interrupting it.
Also, she said she didn't know her times - yet she was doing a time trial. Do you understand she didn't want to talk further?
You had met her for a few minutes and told her she was amazing, unique and special. That just isn't a good idea.
She probably never went back to the park and changed her running route.
I know you have good intentions - or you're a great troll - it's possible it is your aspergers that is making you come across like this and I don't know how to explain it to you so you can understand.
Imagine you were running and a gay guy came up to you and did this conversation, and it was unwanted. He called you amazing. There was sexual innuendo or intent there, and you didn't want it. Imagine, possibly, how uncomfortable you would feel. This is how a lot of girls would feel in this situation. Out running, in a park, you're going to feel a bit more vulnerable than in a coffee shop or somewhere like that as well.
If you want to say hi to girls, I understand that. But definitely tone it down on the compliments. And think about it logically - you'd talked to this girl for minutes. You don't know if she's special, unique, amazing. So to state that can look like obvious flattery and false.
As for "I wish we could run together more" - yes, I understand that's true and you do wish you could run together more but telling her that is too much.
Back in the mid 80s I spotted a young woman jogging around an indoor track at a gym. She ran for about 30 min. each morning. She never ran outside. All of her running was in the gym. Her purpose was to improve her tennis game. One morning I asked her to run with me outside. We ran for 45 min. at probably under a 8 min. mile pace. I asked her to run in a road race and that I would pace her. She ran a 7 min. flat mile pace until the last mile. The hilly course and the hot weather caused her to break down but she finished as the 2nd woman.
She switched her routine after that race. She ran outside and built up the time that she spent running to an hour each morning. She ran 7 days a week. When she had gone to high school in the mid 1960s there were no sports for girls. Her only memory of running is when her P.E. teacher had all the girls run around the gym for as long as they could. She was the only one running after not many minutes. She couldn't understand why the other girls got so tired.
She ended up running a 19 min. 5k on the roads the next fall. Within two years she ran a 38 min. 10k and an 18 min. 5k. She ran one xc race at Van Cortland Park in NYC in just a little over 20 min. without spikes or any experience running on grass or dirt. A few years later when she reached 40 her times stopped improving so she stopped racing. However 30 years later she still runs 7 days a week.
I always felt that before girls had a chance of running that so many had the ability to run but never got the chance. But many did pass the genes on to their children.
I married the woman above about 4 years after we met!
Banana Bread wrote:
Maybe this girl will become my gf someday, who knows.
This is one of those rare occasions when you wish she’d of been armed and turned and shot a hole in your face. Then spitting on your face as you bleed out on the kerbside. You freak.
Banana Bread wrote:
I'm just trying to find my soulmate. Anyway I don't see how it is any more creepy then going to a bar and approaching a girl which has been intoxicated. I'm going for girls which are not drunk and can be taken advantage of so I'm not the creep. I was nice and friendly to her. I usually have a habit of remembering conversations I have with people. I remember a lot of the things I say. I have aspergers and people are always telling me to think about what I'm saying to people and mocking me. Sometimes I record conversations(if I have a chance) so that I can learn how I should talk and understand people's replies to me.
You already sound like assoul mate
The guy clearly has some social issues that prevent him from interacting with others as easily as most people can. He's aware of them and trying to work on them, and he has received at least a little solid advice sprinkled in here with the vitriol. Can't help the cards we're dealt, we can only try to improve, and he's trying to improve, which is admirable.
Banana Bread, I'd echo the earlier comments: short or one-word responses mean "not interested." Just take the L, move on, and try to learn what you can. You have a certain idea of how things are (or should be) with this woman. She has her own ideas. Her ideas trump yours. Every time. You cannot impose your ideas or fantasies on her.
If she wanted to see you again, she'd have given you some indication, like her name, number, or concrete plans to meet again, whether to cool down that day or to meet some other day. She did not want to see you again. If you keep showing up at the same place or otherwise trying to locate her, you're going to find yourself on the fast track to a restraining order. Leave her alone now. Try to learn from this.
I am a young female runner and guys try to pace amd talk to me on runs on a semi regular basis and whenever creepy people like this try to speak to me on a run I just sprint into the distance (even if it does interfere with my workout it’s still a million times better than having to deal with people’s sh!t)
Lyricccss wrote:
The thing is, how would you feel if you were doing a tempo run or some kind of workout with difficult paces to hit and someone ran alongside you asking questions. What if it was an important workout before a race? Would you answer all of their questions?
From what I can tell, you followed this girl for 5 miles, running behind her. She probably wondered what on earth was going on.
From the conversation, she actually said she did mind if you joined her.
You can tell from her replies she's not interested. They are one word answers, she doesn't ask you any questions or expand on further points. She's not interested in having a conversation.
Now, because sometimes if you tell someone you're not interested in talking they react with anger, tell you to F off or the situation turns aggressive, she can't say that outright without fear of repercussion.
She was doing a time trial and you are interrupting it.
Also, she said she didn't know her times - yet she was doing a time trial. Do you understand she didn't want to talk further?
You had met her for a few minutes and told her she was amazing, unique and special. That just isn't a good idea.
She probably never went back to the park and changed her running route.
I know you have good intentions - or you're a great troll - it's possible it is your aspergers that is making you come across like this and I don't know how to explain it to you so you can understand.
Imagine you were running and a gay guy came up to you and did this conversation, and it was unwanted. He called you amazing. There was sexual innuendo or intent there, and you didn't want it. Imagine, possibly, how uncomfortable you would feel. This is how a lot of girls would feel in this situation. Out running, in a park, you're going to feel a bit more vulnerable than in a coffee shop or somewhere like that as well.
If you want to say hi to girls, I understand that. But definitely tone it down on the compliments. And think about it logically - you'd talked to this girl for minutes. You don't know if she's special, unique, amazing. So to state that can look like obvious flattery and false.
As for "I wish we could run together more" - yes, I understand that's true and you do wish you could run together more but telling her that is too much.
I guess you are not smart enough you are not smart enough to say "I'm sorry I can't talk right now, I'm working out."
How is this thread getting so much attention? Who cares?
I once was having the greatest conversation with a co-ed at the college track where I ran D-1.
I had eaten Juicy Lucy burgers the night before, and could feel them brewing...
Needless to say, I shat myself during my 400 repeats, and actually sprayed fart juice on the lovely lady.
Fast forward 30 years, and I still shart on the lovely lady to this very day.
rockefeller wrote:
Last week, my girlfriend and I were talking about my training (I run XC in college), when she asked if I wanted to go on a run with her sometime to get her into shape. She had recently made the goal to lose a bunch of weight and run a marathon next year.
I told her that sure, I would go on a run with her, thinking she would want to do 3 or 4 miles TOPS. However, she kept insisting on tagging along with me on my long run, saying that she might as well "start out hard" if she's going to be serious about it. To make matters worse, she said she didn't want to "be a burden" on me, and insisted that I run my normal easy pace (about 7:20) and that she would keep up just fine.
No matter what I said, I could NOT convince her otherwise. (She's never really run outside of PE in her life, although she did swim competitively in high school).
So last Saturday we set out at 7:20 pace to do 12 miles.
How long do you think she lasted?
Guessing you don’t last very long.
assoul? wrote:
The guy clearly has some social issues that prevent him from interacting with others as easily as most people can. He's aware of them and trying to work on them, and he has received at least a little solid advice sprinkled in here with the vitriol. Can't help the cards we're dealt, we can only try to improve, and he's trying to improve, which is admirable.
Banana Bread, I'd echo the earlier comments: short or one-word responses mean "not interested." Just take the L, move on, and try to learn what you can. You have a certain idea of how things are (or should be) with this woman. She has her own ideas. Her ideas trump yours. Every time. You cannot impose your ideas or fantasies on her.
If she wanted to see you again, she'd have given you some indication, like her name, number, or concrete plans to meet again, whether to cool down that day or to meet some other day. She did not want to see you again. If you keep showing up at the same place or otherwise trying to locate her, you're going to find yourself on the fast track to a restraining order. Leave her alone now. Try to learn from this.
He knows all that. Aspergers or not, he’s perfectly capable of following instructions like this when clearly given.
My bet is that he does this sort of thing, and posts this sort of stuff, for kicks.
He’s an attention seeker.
I felt bad about how things ended with the girl and how she continued running when I slowed down and just waved me goodbye. I saw her again yesterday and crossed over the field to get to the path she was running on.
Me: Hey there, good to see you again.
Her: Hi
Me: Sorry if I annoyed you last week on your training. I hope you are well. You were flying.
Her: Ok
Me: I don't normally listen to music on runs. What are you listening to?
Her: Nine Inch Nails
Me: They are my favorite. We have something in common. You have great taste in music.
Her: They are
Me: I hope I don't irritate you. Sometimes I find it hard to know what the right thing to say is. It feels like our communication isn't great. Can we just run together and I won't talk or disturb your music. I just like being next to you.
Her: Sure. My boyfriend will also join us for the last few miles. He is just waiting outside the entrance up here.
Me: I have a stress fracture from a recent marathon. I have to stop for a minute.
I slowed down. It felt like I had bonked or something and my body was like jelly. She kept going and didn't look to see if I was ok. I can see that this is not the girl for me. I never got to see whether she joined a guy outside the park at all. Back to square one.
Banana Bread wrote:
I felt bad about how things ended with the girl and how she continued running when I slowed down and just waved me goodbye. I saw her again yesterday and crossed over the field to get to the path she was running on.
Me: Hey there, good to see you again.
Her: Hi
Me: Sorry if I annoyed you last week on your training. I hope you are well. You were flying.
Her: Ok
Me: I don't normally listen to music on runs. What are you listening to?
Her: Nine Inch Nails
Me: They are my favorite. We have something in common. You have great taste in music.
Her: They are
Me: I hope I don't irritate you. Sometimes I find it hard to know what the right thing to say is. It feels like our communication isn't great. Can we just run together and I won't talk or disturb your music. I just like being next to you.
Her: Sure. My boyfriend will also join us for the last few miles. He is just waiting outside the entrance up here.
Me: I have a stress fracture from a recent marathon. I have to stop for a minute.
I slowed down. It felt like I had bonked or something and my body was like jelly. She kept going and didn't look to see if I was ok. I can see that this is not the girl for me. I never got to see whether she joined a guy outside the park at all. Back to square one.
You obviously invent this stuff. It has been obvious from day one.
Kareennasa wrote:
Banana Bread wrote:
I went for a run with a girl once. Well I wasn't really with her for most of the run. I was starting a long run and a few minutes in a girl slowly passed me on the other side of the sidewalk. She was heading to the park which was where I was also going. I kept pace with her but kept a gap. She was really cute and I liked looking at her. I actually stayed like this for 5 miles. It was heaven. I then sped up to her and approached closer to her.
Me: Hello there. You sure are fast
Her: Hi, haha
Me: Mind if I join you?
Her: Yea
Me: Your form is perfect. I like your shoes too. They really suit you. You look like a professional
Her: Ha, I wish
Me: Wish no more, it is already true.
Her: Thanks
Me: I'm a marathon runner. I run everyday but I've never been able to have such nice company on a run
Her: That's nice
Me: It is amazing to run together. I feel like I have the energy to just run forever with you. You are like a perfect pacer.
Her: Thanks. I don't think I could keep up forever. I'm doing a time trial now.
Me: You seem like a super girl, as well as fast. What are your times?
Her: I don't know I don't have a watch
Me: I guess time is meaningless when you have good company. It really flies.
Her: I'm starting my tempo now. I wish I could fly now
Me: I'm struggling to keep up. I did a hard session yesterday myself so have to recover.
Her: Yea recovery is the most important part
Me: Great job, you are doing amazing. You are already literally flying. You are like superwomen or something
Her: Thanks goodluck
Me: Maybe I'll join you when you are warming down. I wish we could run more together. You are amazing. I see very few girls running around here these days. Your unique and special. I will be at the exit over there stretching for a bit. Hopefully I will join you afterwards.
She didn't say anything else and was going too fast. I wanted to keep with her but it was an easy day for me and had a hard session the day before. I couldn't find her afterwards when I finished stretching so she just disappeared from the park. I didn't want to be critical but she was going too fast for a tempo and breathing to heavy. If I didn't have a session the day before I would of stayed with her and helped her with training advice and running properly. What is it with people and running tempos incorrectly? Hopefully I will see her again soon and run together. I was too tired and niggles to ask for out for coffee at the time and was hoping to get the chance after her tempo. Oh well, next time. Running with your gf must be great OP, evan if it is short, hopefully she will eventually last longer and you will enjoy it more together. Maybe this girl will become my gf someday, who knows.
Wow, you are as irritating as f@@k.
FWIW I really hate those annoying male runners, invariably over 45’s, and non elite, who try to talk to you at the end of races. Like, yeah, a race is not a substitute for your online dating attempts.
My landlord once invited himself to come along to a low key 5k with me once. Guy was not a regular runner but a cyclist so reasonably fit. Man was he annoying! He actually ran beside me, trying to talk for the first 2.5k. That was only possible because I was deep in marathon training and running it as a tempo. Even so, after halfway I dig deep and dropped him, and ignored him at the finish. Still didn’t put him off, so I had to resort to being downright nasty to him at times. Decent guy, but big mistake to try and consider running as a dating opportunity. Exception is for hot, fast guys. But they don’t do this.
Banana Bread’s post reminds me of when I was doing Ironman training in the local pool. Some guy in my lane says to me “I can’t help noticing you’re just swimming up and down. You should consider doing intervals, stroke drills, blah blah...”. Me: “I’ve just finished my warm up”.
Why are they so annoying?? Get in my way while I’m training and suffer the consequences! I’m not so polite now!!
SEE....
this is why so many men are going MGTOW these days.
Hello…
I’m a D2 female runner. Our coach explicitly told us not to visit LetsRun forums.
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