How to date women when your finances are in order and theirs are not?

NewtotheSouthSide wrote:How come we only see threads like this on LRC where the male has it together. Plenty of women have their finances together and plenty of men don't.

Because men aren't going to start threads about how bad they are at life (besides Jamin), and women aren't going to start threads here at all.

active 70+ year old wrote:

That situation certainly is still well established at my age. Browsing the dating sites such as pof shows that most women's ambition in their 60's and 70's is to indulge in wine, go to parties, go on cruises and/or travel the world..

Oh no, horror of horrors! You must be a fun date.

I remember visiting my parents in the retirement-oriented town they lived in.

You can find that, but you will have to be patient -- and state up front what you want. IT is RARE.

--from a running family.

boogie wonderlandd wrote:

active 70+ year old wrote:

That situation certainly is still well established at my age. Browsing the dating sites such as pof shows that most women's ambition in their 60's and 70's is to indulge in wine, go to parties, go on cruises and/or travel the world..

Oh no, horror of horrors! You must be a fun date.

Spoke like an fat old lady with no money.

He at least did not slam them for looking for an old guy who's been responsible and has money. Which is what most of them do. It's in the pure economics of the situation, and the way women of that generation were imprinted by culture/low culture.

Go your own way, man. Women's sense of entitlement never diminishes, nor do their expectations of your resources.

flip de flop wrote:

NERunner053 wrote:

The last several comments are incredibly sexist. Please, Brojos, clean up your website. This thread is trash. This entire place is becoming trash.

The brojos use this website to perpetuate misogyny. They won't clean this up. In fact, they started this thread to generate traffic and fuel the hate. Typical storyline: Women use men for money because they're incapable of supporting themselves. They're small minded, lazy, users, vain, etc.

Guys- you are the company you keep. And judging from your experiences, you're keepers of $hit. Keep slogging.

The OP sounds like a fun date.

Goes out to dinner at 4 for the early bird special in his 10 year old Toyota Corolla and regale her with takes of S&P 500 index fund returns in his 401k.

Someone's not getting laid.

The way it is here and now wrote:

Not so fast bro wrote:

So don't mix finances.

Married 12 years and still don't have any joint accounts. I pay the bills, she pays me. We split the mortgage based on who makes more (it's about 60-40 with me paying the higher percentage). Other bills we split equally. She's GREAT with money but we never saw the need for joint accounts.

Married 9 years, and all accounts are joint. I pay the bills AND pay her! Then again... she is a stay at home mom for our children. So many people are so worried about equality with the money, my money is mine, hers is hers. When you are married you are a joint team with the same goals, same assets and same financial responsibility. It's called family.

Same here. Married 44 years. Couldn’t be happier. Of course we were never driven by money. Then again, we never lived the high life when younger and still live well but modestly today.

Not so fast bro wrote:

Women make up nearly 60% of college graduates now, and are achieving at rates higher than ever.

Whatever happened to equality? I thought pushing more women into college was about parity? What else has the Left been lying to us about?

I’m impressed that you’re measuring finances by starting with net worth, among other factors, and not solely income. It really annoys me when “experts” measure wealthy solely by income.

he was verry nice wrote:

boogie wonderlandd wrote:

Oh no, horror of horrors! You must be a fun date.

Spoke like an fat old lady with no money.

He at least did not slam them for looking for an old guy who's been responsible and has money. Which is what most of them do. It's in the pure economics of the situation, and the way women of that generation were imprinted by culture/low culture.

It's interesting how the assumptions about women all fit the same mold: Irresponsible with money, looking to be taken care of, vain, frivolous, spend thrifts. It's like the men here are desperate to force women into that mold come hell or high water.

At the end of the day, you can only control your own actions. If you don't want to be burdened by women then stop whining and desperately seeking a female soulmate. Go it alone.

The reality is that men NEED women. That need will never end, irrespective of your age. You need the companionship/closeness with a woman and you resent having this need. Women really don't need men in the same way. Once they've had their families and their children, men become easily replaceable and/or downright obsolete. Immature, selfish men quickly become a burden on women. The same is not true for well adjusted, pleasant, cooperative men. But so few are actually enjoyable to be around. So, women often cast off the dead weight and start afresh. Men are a dime a dozen. An annoyance at the end of the day. A little gnat you swat at but it just keeps coming back.

bye bye little gnats!

Be a gentleman and help a woman in need. I don’t mean bail her out and blindly pay for things but provide some guidance and sound advice. Can’t help, right? You’d be surprised how many people don’t use a budget when they really need to.

In a strange abstract way this thread reminds me of that Friends episode where Ross is dating a crazy hot woman (Rebecca Romijin) and he goes to her apartment and it’s a disaster.

gnat you wrote:

The reality is that men NEED women. That need will never end, irrespective of your age. You need the companionship/closeness with a woman and you resent having this need. Women really don't need men in the same way. Once they've had their families and their children, men become easily replaceable and/or downright obsolete. Immature, selfish men quickly become a burden on women. The same is not true for well adjusted, pleasant, cooperative men. But so few are actually enjoyable to be around. So, women often cast off the dead weight and start afresh. Men are a dime a dozen. An annoyance at the end of the day.

Actually that's not true.

First of all, women crave men as much or more than men crave to be with women.

Also there are losers of both sexes, and a dwindling supply of people who take good care of themselves.

However losers are generally fine being with losers like themselves, so they have an easier time finding mates.

You're dreaming ... wrote:

gnat you wrote:

The reality is that men NEED women. That need will never end, irrespective of your age. You need the companionship/closeness with a woman and you resent having this need. Women really don't need men in the same way. Once they've had their families and their children, men become easily replaceable and/or downright obsolete. Immature, selfish men quickly become a burden on women. The same is not true for well adjusted, pleasant, cooperative men. But so few are actually enjoyable to be around. So, women often cast off the dead weight and start afresh. Men are a dime a dozen. An annoyance at the end of the day.

Actually that's not true.

First of all, women crave men as much or more than men crave to be with women.

Yeah? Well then, explain this.

A few items to emphasize:

A recent survey in the US showed that post divorce or the death of a spouse, men are more open to the notion of remarriage than women. Almost two thirds of the men said they’d want or would consider remarriage whereas less than half of women would.

Widowers felt deprived by the loss of married life. But most widows appreciated the chance to be “selfish” and focus on their own wants and needs now that they were on their own. They were unwilling to swap these benefits for companionship plus the possibility of becoming caretakers later on.

As women are becoming more economically independent it’s hardly surprising they have less need of a husband, or even a live-in partner, especially as women still bear the main brunt of looking after the home. Is it possible that men become more romantic as they age, and women less? Or more simply that men just don’t cope as well when there’s no woman around to look after them?

Another issue is that widowers often lack the close friendships common among women, relationships that can help them buffer the loneliness of loss.

gnat you wrote:

[quote]he was verry nice wrote:

[quote]boogie wonderlandd wrote:

[quote]active 70+ year old wrote:

The reality is that men NEED women. That need will never end, irrespective of your age. You need the companionship/closeness with a woman and you resent having this need. Women really don't need men in the same way. Once they've had their families and their children, men become easily replaceable and/or downright obsolete. Immature, selfish men quickly become a burden on women. The same is not true for well adjusted, pleasant, cooperative men. But so few are actually enjoyable to be around. So, women often cast off the dead weight and start afresh. Men are a dime a dozen. An annoyance at the end of the day. A little gnat you swat at but it just keeps coming back.

bye bye little gnats!

Women come with psychological baggage and they only want men for money (cooperative? WTF?). Men don't need that garbage. Men need a physical release. It is nice being with women for that but then afterwards we just want them to shut up and if they don't then please leave. That's why paid women are better for men than the women who profess to be morally above that sort of thing.

I love being with highly successful women. They don't expect anything other than to be treated nicely and to have a good time. Then at the end of the evening they always go home.

Men have no need for you , honey.

The sexual market value of women peaks in their early 20s and their marriage market value peaks soon after that. By the time they are widows their value is essentially zero, so it's not that they don't choose to date or remarry, it is not their prerogative to do so.

Did you read the articles? Unlike women, the vast majority of divorced and widowed men immediately begin looking for a partner after becoming single. The fact of the matter is women are valued because of they ARE good companions- caretakers, socializers, schedulers, helpful, cooperative. They are good humans. Men look to be cared for especially as they age. They DEPEND on women. Men would do well to change their tactic and begin to invest in their personal relationships especially with other men. The financial independence of women has totally leveled the dating/relationship playing field. Once women are able to care for themselves, they do. Men on the other hand, cannot because they do not have support networks (don't invest in non-sexual personal relationships) and/or don't know how to care for themselves (or are lazy and apathetic all their lives). Get with the program if you want to be happy.

^^ Truth. This is why unevolved men cling to the old story line of dating financially dependent women (either consciously or unconsciously). If you find yourself gravitating to women like this, check your head. You are the one with the bigger problem.

If women you've dated are not good with their money, then just keep looking until you find one who is. It's obviously extremely important to you, so don't even bother getting into a "serious relationship" with someone who doesn't share your financial views. It's that easy. And if you're frustrated that all the women you're meeting are, in your opinion, "bad" with money, then take a hard look at yourself as to why you keep meeting women like that. Finding someone who is financially compatible is a valid concern (for women as well as men), but the problem I think some people are finding with your post is that it suggests women, in general, are not good with their money. Your experience is purely anecdotal. Just like my experience is that most of the women I know are, in fact, good with their money.

My wife came with big student loans and credit card debt. She wasn't wasting money on junk, but had traveled quite a bit.

I manage the money for the most part. Joint accounts for banking and credit cards.

We are going on 10 years and she now sees the light. She's got family with nothing saved for retirement, kids with no college funds, etc.

We've got a reasonable plan and on jump start in both. It wasn't that much of a struggle- once we got serious she started thinking long term.