Question for the guys about dating etiquette

bluenope wrote:

No, it is his treat. If it goes well, thank him and say "the next time is on me"

on me or in me? i prefer the former.

John Utah wrote:

There should never be stings attached to payment for dates unless you are a whore, which you are likely not. There are zero obligations. Dudes should pay the vast majority of the time. That’s just how it is.

You misunderstand me. My point being if the guy has romantic intentions and she does not and he's an idiot that thinks that "wearing her down" by spending time with her works. He's the one attaching the strings.

A bad choice of words on my part.

bluenope wrote:

No, it is his treat. If it goes well, thank him and say "the next time is on me"

This should do it. At the same time you say that you want to see him again, without actually saying it. Good luck :)

Bravo!

Simple and effective.

bluenope wrote:

No, it is his treat. If it goes well, thank him and say "the next time is on me"

And/or offer to buy the first drink "you got the tickets, let me get this".

pop_pop!_v2.2.1 wrote:

John Utah wrote:

There should never be stings attached to payment for dates unless you are a whore, which you are likely not. There are zero obligations. Dudes should pay the vast majority of the time. That’s just how it is.

You misunderstand me. My point being if the guy has romantic intentions and she does not and he's an idiot that thinks that "wearing her down" by spending time with her works. He's the one attaching the strings.

A bad choice of words on my part.

Got it, but why would she go on a date if she has no romantic interest in the guy?

xc chick wrote:

Hi everyone, I have a question about dating etiquette. I went on a date with this guy and it went well. The next day, he texted to ask if I wanted to go to this show. I said sure, sounds like fun and we could also see some other things. He replied and said that was great and he bought us two tickets.

Question: Should I ask him if he wants to split the cost of the tickets? I will of course thank him but I'm not sure what the etiquette is here. I am happy to pay my share but I also don't want him to get offended for asking to split this (each ticket is about $20).

Not sure if it’s too late to reply. A true man will be comfortable with a woman offering to help pay. A way to help pay is to thank him for the ticket and enjoy the show, but then buy the first round of drinks if you go out after. That’s casual and he’ll note that youre better than most chicks who never offered.

In all honesty, what he wants is you. Helping to pay for the date is worth less than if you two hook up afterwards. Seriously, if you suggested s3x instead of the show, he’ll happily throw out the tickets and not think twice.

John Utah wrote:Got it, but why would she go on a date if she has no romantic interest in the guy?

LOL. Because he's fun to be around, but not in a sexual way Is every single woman a sexual object to you? Probably not.

It's America, 2018. Women are allowed to have male friends. Or, at least they do in my metropolis.

round the block wrote:In all honesty, what he wants is you. Helping to pay for the date is worth less than if you two hook up afterwards. Seriously, if you suggested s3x instead of the show, he’ll happily throw out the tickets and not think twice.

If you ever leave your parent's basement, you have much to learn about women.

No he invited so should pay as should you if it was the other way round.

Get the drinks or snacks in at the show as a thank you

3rd date rule... bada boom, bada bing!

xc chick wrote:

Hi everyone, I have a question about dating etiquette. I went on a date with this guy and it went well. The next day, he texted to ask if I wanted to go to this show. I said sure, sounds like fun and we could also see some other things. He replied and said that was great and he bought us two tickets.

Question: Should I ask him if he wants to split the cost of the tickets? I will of course thank him but I'm not sure what the etiquette is here. I am happy to pay my share but I also don't want him to get offended for asking to split this (each ticket is about $20).

There is no "etiquette." Be yourself. If you want to split it, ask him. If you want him to pay, don't. The less you worry about what the rules are surrounding dating, the sooner you will meet someone compatible. My long term partner and I always alternate paying for things. We do not keep track and seldom mention it. It just happens. It has been like that from the beginning.

Any guy that starts getting weird about a girl who offers to pay probably is a misogynist wacko or immature idiot that reads Return of Kings or lame PUA crap.

pop_pop!_v2.2.1 wrote:

round the block wrote:In all honesty, what he wants is you. Helping to pay for the date is worth less than if you two hook up afterwards. Seriously, if you suggested s3x instead of the show, he’ll happily throw out the tickets and not think twice.

If you ever leave your parent's basement, you have much to learn about women.

True. I only ever get as far as your wife’s bedroom.

There's nothing to salvage. You're fine - just have fun and show interest. What happened with the first date with paying?

xc chick wrote:

Ugh I took the first guys advice about asking how much I owe him. I'm genuinely interested in him, how do I salvage this? Either way the date is still on.

We went on a hike for the first date so there was no bill.

He replied back through text and said that tickets were $x each. Should I say I can send him over the money (through venmo or something), or is there a more tactful way of doing this?

xc chick wrote:

We went on a hike for the first date so there was no bill.

He replied back through text and said that tickets were $x each. Should I say I can send him over the money (through venmo or something), or is there a more tactful way of doing this?

It reads like you are interested in the guy, so, when you are at an easy place and having fun on the date, *in real life,* thank him for the evening and tell him the next date is on you. And then plan the next date and execute.

More generally, don't hide behind your phone. I know it's a common thing, but, the sooner you DON'T do it, the better.

But what should I say to him saying the ticket price was $x (it was just one line after another thought)? I feel like not acknowledging that and moving on would seem bad.

9/10 Nobody is this clueless. Nice job!

:/ I know these are dumb questions but I thought there would be some sympathy for social awkwardness here of all places