Help me win over a girl

Wingchicks :

best invention since sliced bread

I really hope she reads LR

Forget abut girls. Too big a chance your life will at some point go to h**l.

I would quote your post but it took you so long to make your point it’s not worth it.

But I disagree for any mature female. Peer friend opinions are important, but they don’t dictate my decisions or who I will see, interact with, etc.

Let’s be honest, most females want friends that will take their side no matter what and agree with them for an extra boost. I find it annoying actually. That is specifically why I have many guy friends and prefer it that way because they mostly don’t mind expressing they don’t give a sh*t or are neutral. I don’t need someone to fuel my complaints or gossip with.

So back to the OP main question. If she’s a mature young 20’s something she can make up her own mind about who she wants to spend time with. However, I would agree that most younger females probably care too much what their friends/peers think.

And for the record, guys can break out of the friendzone and visa versa for girls in the friendzone. It’s not a defined place you’re stuck in forever if you’re tacticle about. I know many LR guys will disagree. And you say the ladies on here are at home laughing at the LRBFs on here, but I know many guys that are on this site regularly and I’m not laughing at them at all. They’re great guys. Most of the ladies on here are probably pretty similar if we’re being honest! So we’d be laughing at ourselves...but I digress.

Multiple times the friend thing has worked out for me. The common factor in all of these situations is that the girl was dating someone else. In some cases I knew before-hand and some I didn't. There was something about knowing she wasn't available that turned off my crushing. In every case I decided, heck I'm not dating anyone and am bored so why not, and became close friends. Either through cheating or splitting with their boyfriend, eventually it happened for me.

I have been friends in the bad way too. I would say the difference was definitely whether I actively had a crush or if it was dormant. Everytime it was active, it never worked out for me. Everytime I was indifferently friends with her, it happened. Literally 100% rates on either side.

If you're asking for help on here, you're helpless

OP, you're in a great situation given that it's right before winter break. I'm female, here's what I'd suggest.

Don't take the fact the she's seeing someone as an end-all be-all. Relationships at that age are often really short, and if she's not talking about him all the time, she *might* not be that into him and looking for a good time to end it. School breaks are perfect for this.

Figure out when is the last time you'll see her before break. (If that last time doesn't work for some reason, you can also email her this, but it would be better face to face.) Tell her you've really enjoyed spending time with her this semester. Say you know you asked her out before and that she said no, but your offer stands "if anything changes" for her. Say bye and have a nice break. You can respond if she contacts you, but try not to contact her -- she knows how you feel, now give her some space to weigh her options.

If she's still attached come spring semester, you've been officially friendzoned. Like others said, that might not be permanent, but you'd have to decide for yourself how much time you can or want to spend with her as friends, without getting bitter or weird about it.

It's attractive when a guy is straightforward about his feelings without aggression, negging, or defensiveness. Since she's spending time with you on her own accord, she doesn't think you're creepy and may be flattered by your interest.

+1

Guys, cut the BS.

“Let go of your fears and you won’t fret, it’s better to feel foolish than regret”-AN

MeHereYouWhere?! wrote:

The correct response to her saying she had a boyfriend is ALWAYS:

"What's your man got to do with me?"

YES

POSITIVE K

insummary wrote:

Again, he specifically is asking about how to establish a romantic relationship with a girl.

And I'm saying, she's got to trust him first emotionally. It is absolutely true he can't just "be around." I think we can all agree he's probably in the friendzone already. But, that's not forever if he takes action.

It's time for OP to be direct about his feelings, but not overwhelming and just see what happens. One way or another, just do something honest, respectful, and direct.

Based on the way OP posted the story, he will likely misunderstand a little early interest, like coffee and easy talking, and overwhelm her with his feelings. It's a life skill.

insummary wrote:

The men who have responded think you should move on.

The woman who responded thinks that its a great idea for you to continue to follow this girl around like a puppy.

You don't need her to meet other girls.

There's no reason to think that the woman who responded means to give you bad advice, but it is bad advice. Here's what she doesn't agree with, AT ALL:

Never waste your time on a girl who is not interested in you.

So, go ahead and follow her advice and do waste your time on a girl who is not interested in you. See how that works out.

We do not know if the person-who-pretended-to-be-a-girl is actually a girl. Yet even so I think you are correct. I would certainly be nice to her but do not chase girls!

Perhaps the exception would be if you have dated her for a long time and she chickens out.

Then maybe you have to go back to her, but I'm pretty sure you don't want to do this much.

Drama Queens are not worth it in the long run. We are not living in the movie theater.