to the dads out there how do you balance life and running?

Serious question - are these people running 60-90 miles/week running at an elite level? What is the point of training so much? I ran at a high level in college and a few years after college but now that I have kids I run to stay healthy and not nearly as much...I enjoy family time. I'm past my athletic prime. I just don't see the point in spending that much time running unless you're aiming to make a a national team, or you're earning a living. What's the point?

Simple: Just pay some illegal immigrant to take care of them. Then go running.-- Sincerely, Donald Trump

I run when the kids are sleeping. Before 7am and after 8pm. It sucks that nearly all my runs are in the dark but it is what it is.

I do like the structure that kids give to your life though. No longer do I stay out late and I am motivated to get my run in earlier, so i dont have to worry about it the rest of the day.

Motherrunner wrote:

Serious question - are these people running 60-90 miles/week running at an elite level? What is the point of training so much? I ran at a high level in college and a few years after college but now that I have kids I run to stay healthy and not nearly as much...I enjoy family time. I'm past my athletic prime. I just don't see the point in spending that much time running unless you're aiming to make a a national team, or you're earning a living. What's the point?

This makes a lot of sense to me. That said, I know that a lot of hobbyjoggers get a lot of satisfaction out of training hard and trying to improve their race times and so on. Not my thing, but I get the appeal. If I can keep running 30-40mpw for as long as it suits me, that's enough.

I'm in that category. I'm not an elite, unless you distill it down to masters runners. But you could ask the same question about 99% of runners.

From my perspective, if I'm going to run a marathon, I want to be prepared for it and want to do my best. That means extended stretches where I average over 70 mpw and peak at 90-100.

No sponsorships are coming, little prize money is involved. But, the added 5-6 hours a week are hours I'm willing to invest to really rest myself and to try to achieve the best that I believe myself capable of achieving. It's the essence of the sport, as I see it.

People even parents are so full of it who don't admit to spending 1-2 hours a day watching tv or on their phones. So running can simply replace that. We were meant to move and technology is killing us. Run so that your kids can enjoy their healthy parents!

If you have a cool wife and are willing to run early, as in before 5:30- 6:00 AM early, then you shouldn't have a problem. If you want to run longer, get up and out of the house earlier. It's not that hard.

You both have different viewpoints, neither of which are mine. I did not do any high school sports, i dont run for my college. I run to relieve stress and to stay healthy. That's it. Sure i have a tiny competitive nature, and i absolutely know I'll never amount to any 'real' running standards and I dont care nor do i expect to. I like working towards small self setting goals. When my kids see me win an award from a race it inspires them to work towards goals as well. Everyone runs for more reasons than just to reminisce about their HS or college glory days. I love my family and they always come first, doesn't mean that i should neglect myself in the process.

You both have different viewpoints, neither of which are mine.

I ran in HS but not in college. I think I'm probably in better running shape than I ever was in HS, so no glory days to relive (or the glory days are today). I think we're actually mostly on the same page here. I keep my mileage up b/c I like to cruise around feeling fit, which is just a different kind of goal from racing performance.

I too like to cruise around feeling fit and was formerly decent at running but never either high mileage or a world beater, so miles in the 40s is just fine for me. If you take a day off that's 7-8 miles a day (and then depending on whether you do a long run maybe a little less).

Plenty of running to stay fit, but then we all have different feelings about what that means. I'm rather competitive but that helps make morning running nice. You still see folks (running and tris are popular where I live) early in the day but it doesn't leave as much room for the juices to take over. That and it's just plain harder running when you're not fully awake (at least for me).

I think one of the important things to remember is what the difference between 60 and 90 minutes of running is for you and so on. Less can be more. There is much more to life and that comes from someone who runs fairly religiously, and checks few other websites other than this one.

runrincerepeat wrote:

Why cant you just get up at 4am or whatever time and have an hour or so to run? Plus if you run early in the AM nothing can pop up and ruin your run.

Sounds like fun.

I'm always injured so lucky to get out 2 or 3 times a week.

Usually coach once a week starting to think I should spend it with the toddler rather than on other people especially as it takes up a few hours with driving. A run is an hour or less

runrunfastfast wrote:

People even parents are so full of it who don't admit to spending 1-2 hours a day watching tv or on their phones. So running can simply replace that. We were meant to move and technology is killing us. Run so that your kids can enjoy their healthy parents!

This is so true! According to this article the average parent watches four hours of tv a day! Parents taking 1-2 hours to run should be what society encourages. Not watching a bunch of crap that is destroying our brains.

I am fortunate that I have shower facilities at work and can get out for 40-60 mins over lunch time, Monday to Friday. It means that when I get home I can spend all my time with the kids until their bedtime. It also means that when they are asleep I can spend time with my wife. Simple.

I used to do a track session on a Saturday morning pre-kids (as well as a Tuesday night) but changed it so I do my two hard sessions per week on a Tuesday and Friday lunchtime. Saturday is now just an easy 35-40mins at whatever time it fits in.

I also used to meet up with a group to run at 8:30 on a Sunday but it meant that I wasn't really ready to do anything with the family til almost lunch time (ie half the day gone). I now go at 7am by myself so I'm done fairly early.

Interestingly my mileage has dropped from around 60 per week to around 50 since I changed to this schedule and I've run quicker over 5k and 10k.

239 jogger wrote:

I read occasionally on this forum but this is my first time asking a question. How do you balance fatherhood, being a husband, work, and running? I find it very difficult to balance these things. Often times I run when ever I get the free moment I can. Usually its a crappy time of day and just try to get whatever workout/run in I can. I still manage around 40 mpw. I often feel guilty whenever I do go for a run, even when my wife says she doesn't care. I don't know why I get the runners guilt but I do.

I've found that the only way to make it work is while training in the early morning.

Out before the kids and wife are awake. Home after work for family time.

I run about 10 times a year in the afternoon and it always throws off the family vibe.

The wife doesn't come from an athletic family but she knows I'm a better father and husband if I get my training in.

Motherrunner wrote:

Serious question - are these people running 60-90 miles/week running at an elite level? What is the point of training so much? I ran at a high level in college and a few years after college but now that I have kids I run to stay healthy and not nearly as much...I enjoy family time. I'm past my athletic prime. I just don't see the point in spending that much time running unless you're aiming to make a a national team, or you're earning a living. What's the point?

Great question. For me:

1) Not elite, but I have a goal to make the OT marathon. It is a long shot for me, but enough of a possibility that it's a realistic goal.

2) I like achieving goals. Every running goal I've achieved along the way might not mean anything to anyone else, but it makes me happy.

3) It keeps me sane. Running gives me an outlet I can't find anywhere else. You can prioritize your family over everything else and still have something left over for personal development.

4) I stay fit and attractive (to my wife) and PNSO is postponed.

5) It's healthy and I don't love other forms of exercise.

6) I win a few bucks here and there. Nothing big, maybe a few hundred every now and then, but it's fun.

7) I'm competitive and racing is a major adrenaline rush.

8) When I'm fit and fast.... life is somehow more enjoyable.

8) It really doesn't take much time. An hour every morning? That's a drive to and from the gym and a workout for other people.

Er... make that last bullet a *9*

239 jogger wrote:

I read occasionally on this forum but this is my first time asking a question. How do you balance fatherhood, being a husband, work, and running? I find it very difficult to balance these things. Often times I run when ever I get the free moment I can. Usually its a crappy time of day and just try to get whatever workout/run in I can. I still manage around 40 mpw. I often feel guilty whenever I do go for a run, even when my wife says she doesn't care. I don't know why I get the runners guilt but I do.

It's because you care about spending time away from your family but you shouldn't b/c in the end you'll be in a better mood to be the best parent/spouse for that day. If your wife doesn't have her own hobby/interest then she will resent it and eventually your marriage might be in trouble. Speaking from experience.,,that's all. Good luck.

I would second or third what many have already said. I have 3 kids all under 7. Early a.m. is the best time to run for me - before the kids get up, or if they're already up, they're at least well behaved at that hour. If I need to, I do a second run at lunch or after the kids go to bed. Some say you shouldn't run shortly before bed, but I disregard that advice. (I read Kellyn Taylor (NAZ Elite) does her second run at 9 pm after her child is in bed.)

A benefit of my running: when my kids play house, whoever plays "dad" gets up and goes for a run before breakfast.

The months that I don't run (post-marathons), i waste more time. When I run, i use my time more efficiently. Finally, think long-term. Looking back, I've wondered if I needed to be fit every year. Some years, you'll have time / interest and ramp up and get fit. Other years, you won't, but that doesn't mean you're not a runner anymore - ramping down is a temporary thing until you ramp back up again. Good luck!

Get a bright, rechargeable headlamp and see what happens.

I run 50 miles a week and 90% of those miles, my wife and daughter are asleep. Ideally, you'll find some other dorky dads who are doing the same thing. I have a regular group of dads who meet at 5:30 AM every Tuesday and Thursday, rain or shine, all year. Only drawback is you'll want to go to bed at 8:30 every night. There's no better way to get your miles in without pissing off your wife.