to the dads out there how do you balance life and running?

Rick Widecock wrote:

The only way to do it completely guilt free is to run in the AM before they wake up. Don't overrate how much sleep you actually need. Try to go to bed earlier.

Not 100% true. My wife hates when I get up early to run. It wakes her up. The alternative is to sleep on the couch, which is going to cause problems.

You think you can get up without waking the rest of the house, but the truth is different. She says to wait until everyone is up and then run.

For me, the early AM run just doesn't work in balancing things. Going at 9 or 10pm, however. That's OK.

I used to be a lot more judgmental about other people's parenting and then I became a parent. I am much less judgmental now.

In fact, before having kids I was looking forward to being a good parent and instilling shared values, mores and norms. Now I consider getting them to bed alive a good day of parenting.

Take is easy on each other brothers. It's a hard enough job without sniping at each other.

I'm 33 and have 2 kids, 4 & 2. Recently I've realized I'm not going to run fast any more so I just try to get out and run so I don't get fat. I run 4 miles a day at 5:00 am before work and do a long run on Saturday.

Nice work! I started up training again when the baby was 2 months and could come on runs with me. At first I thought I'd be lucky to hit 60 mpw, then little by little I realized if I was efficient with my time I could squeeze a little more out. Pretty sure I can get to 80 on this schedule and keep things smooth at home.

As far as infants... I think it depends on the baby. Mine was fortunately easy, and I really could have been running after that first week or two. I doubt I'll be so lucky with #2, but I can always hope.

Good luck to you!

I have a 3 year old and a 10 month old and get in 70-90 miles a week. It's simple, they sleep from 7pm to 6:30am. I get up at 4:15 and do my run and shower by 6:25am.

If I need to double I do it instead of eating lunch at work.

I don't have kids yet but will probably be reproducing in the next couple years, so I am interested in this thread.

What I don't understand about much of this discussion is: what is so bad about each parent taking turns watching the kids while the other one is going about his/her life? It seems that's also a good way of taking pressure off the marriage -- let each spouse continue being an individual and growing as an individual. Why would I insist that if I'm taking care of Junior for a few hours on Sunday morning my wife can't go work out and have brunch with her friends? That's crazy! What is such a big deal about leaving the house for about 45mins to do 6 easy miles?

I have been running since I was 10. I am 42 and have 3 children, married for eighteen years. My wife and I both run. Even so it hasn't always been roses. I have had to sacrifice my fitness for hers, making sure she gets her run in at the expense of mine (when the kids were little). Now that they are older it is not a problem. Key Advice: If your kids are young get a "baby jogger" and take him/her with you. Your wife will enjoy 30-60 minutes of relief. If you have two get a double. She will have less to complain about if you are giving her a little free time once or twice a week.

Smoove wrote:

I used to be a lot more judgmental about other people's parenting and then I became a parent. I am much less judgmental now.

In fact, before having kids I was looking forward to being a good parent and instilling shared values, mores and norms. Now I consider getting them to bed alive a good day of parenting.

Take is easy on each other brothers. It's a hard enough job without sniping at each other.

I feel the opposite. Only after being a parent do I really see how important it is and what a big responsibility it is. Nobody should think it's ok to be a shitty parent.

ehouse wrote:

I don't have kids yet but will probably be reproducing in the next couple years, so I am interested in this thread.

What I don't understand about much of this discussion is: what is so bad about each parent taking turns watching the kids while the other one is going about his/her life? It seems that's also a good way of taking pressure off the marriage -- let each spouse continue being an individual and growing as an individual. Why would I insist that if I'm taking care of Junior for a few hours on Sunday morning my wife can't go work out and have brunch with her friends? That's crazy! What is such a big deal about leaving the house for about 45mins to do 6 easy miles?

It's not a binary issue of run or never run. Of course it's not good to never get any physical activity. The question, as I see it, relates to a dedication to putting in serious training and logging lots of miles when you have kids. Putting your stuff first. It's typically much harder than you might imagine if you have multiple kids and they are at the age where they have activities themselves.

Yeah, two parents and one very young kid. Much easier.

Makes no difference to me. I just feck off to Ethiopia.

Less mileage, test injections, androgel

this is actually a good thread.

I think the only way to do it is run while you are away from family and enjoy the time at home... ie run while they sleep, run to or at work, run after work right away, any of those times .. otherwise you have to deny family time and that's way worse.

Oh yeah, get used to being tired all of the time and cherishing those few hours of sleep.

Do you really believe that any one does indeed think it's okay to be a bad parent? We are all doing the best we can, I suspect. But that doesn't mean we all have to see eye to eye on what is best. To each his own. I can guaranty you that none of us have it perfectly right.

Smoove wrote:

Do you really believe that any one does indeed think it's okay to be a bad parent? We are all doing the best we can, I suspect. But that doesn't mean we all have to see eye to eye on what is best. To each his own. I can guaranty you that none of us have it perfectly right.

Are you high or do you live on another planet? You think the parents in our society are actually doing their best? Some are. Way way too many are not. And best doesn't mean perfect.

That's like saying people in the USA are doing their best to stay thin and healthy.

John Utah wrote:

Smoove wrote:

Do you really believe that any one does indeed think it's okay to be a bad parent? We are all doing the best we can, I suspect. But that doesn't mean we all have to see eye to eye on what is best. To each his own. I can guaranty you that none of us have it perfectly right.

Are you high or do you live on another planet? You think the parents in our society are actually doing their best? Some are. Way way too many are not. And best doesn't mean perfect.

That's like saying people in the USA are doing their best to stay thin and healthy.

Hey Johnny Utah, I gotta say, you seem like the precious snowflake type. You could have probably gotten in some good parenting during all the time you've spent on this thread.

Nope. I'm a trump voting conservative and have high standards for important things in life.

On a different note, you get major credit for your name. Now go get me two meatball sandwiches. Gimmie two!

Way to do your best to turn a positive thread ugly.

Let's not feed this.

Sincerely,

A compassionate conservative

Like others have said, I think the biggest factor is having a spouse that is supportive of you "selfish" hobbies, and is willing to give you a reasonable amount of space to pursue running. Besides all of the other schedule manipulation that others have mentioned (run on lunch break, or early in morning) I have also found creative ways to multitask "parenting" and running. When we had just 1 child, I spent many miles pushing the running stroller. I could often coordinate the child's nap with my run (they would fall asleep on the run). With two kids, that got harder to do b/c pushing a double stroller is NOT fun. We had our 3rd kid this past summer. I often take the older kids (5 and 3) to a park that has a playground in the middle, and a running path around the perimeter. I can loop the park for 30 minutes while the kids played on the playground (they usually get bored after 30-40 minutes). The kids are within sight pretty much the whole time. It is boring to run 15 loops around a park to get a 4 mile run in, but you do what you gotta do.

Even with these creative ways of getting the mileage in, my training is still not what I wish it could be. But like others have mentioned, the kids are only young for a short, so you adjust your priorities. I look forward to my kids being older and proficient bike riders so that they can ride beside me on runs. I think you just find what works for each age you are dealing with at the time.

Also, we are stopping at 3 kids precisely so my wife and I can still have some room in our "personal" life. We are not yet completely overwhelmed (but close to it), so now is a good stopping point.

You've gotta do what works for you and one of the big things is communication. I was a bit of a jerk in the early goings (only have one kid) by some standards. Our kid happened to be an unpredictable and not great sleeper so I ran either early in the morning or fairly late at night. I did help out with everything around the house and with our kid, but it can be hard to understand just how mentally and physically fatigued your wife can get.

However, I'm a much nicer person when I get the exercise, and my wife knows that and so she is okay with my running. Kid's older and now sleeps better so I do almost all runs at 5:30, with the occasional run during his nap time on the weekend, but I like to use that time to be with my wife alone.

All told, for me it's not bad. I'm not a morning person by nature but you can adapt. I run in the 35-45 range with the variation a dependence on if my kid wakes early (I'll go in to comfort him so wife can get more sleep).

For the poster who said not waking the family, that's big. In general something else would wake my wife anyway if she's awakened by me heading out. Same goes for my kid, though he does have bat hearing for things like the door lock.

Lastly, racing: I don't do this much. Bringing your wife and kid to the occasional race works for me (if the timing is right), but mostly I skimp. Lots of races is too pricey for our young family anyway.