My mother in law lives with us and I am ready to crash into a big tree.

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  • tycobb
    registered
    4 years ago 01/15/2017 8:41pm CST
    re: Hunk.
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    Hunk. wrote:

    [quote]View from the Otherside wrote:


    I was going to make a similar suggestion. If you have the financials, I would just get the MIL a studio apartment and pay for the whole year of rent/utilities.

    This is what I would do except maybe do 3-6 months and tell her to get a job. It would probably be part time but she needs to help out and something to do.
  • War Against Science
    4 years ago 01/15/2017 10:22pm CST
    re: Unrecognized
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    Unrecognized wrote:
    It is her mother that really annoys me. Talks about politics and world events but just makes shit up. Serial liar.

    Let me guess, she voted for Trump.
  • Rub-A-Dub
    4 years ago 01/16/2017 12:30am CST
    re: tycobb
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    tycobb wrote:

    Hunk. wrote:

    [quote]View from the Otherside wrote:


    I was going to make a similar suggestion. If you have the financials, I would just get the MIL a studio apartment and pay for the whole year of rent/utilities.

    This is what I would do except maybe do 3-6 months and tell her to get a job. It would probably be part time but she needs to help out and something to do.


    Full Body Sensual Massage!
  • Apostrophe Crime's
    4 years ago 01/16/2017 4:54am CST
    re: CoachB
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    [quote]CoachB wrote:

    I hear you, brother. When I finished grad school, we moved in with my wife's paren'ts for a couple of months while we were getting established back in California.

    Nails on chalkboard[/quote

    "Paren'ts"?
    WTF??
  • I feel your pain....
    4 years ago 01/16/2017 7:14am CST
    re: Unrecognized
    Forum Index
    Unrecognized wrote:

    My wife is great and she has put up with a lot of my BS.

    It is her mother that really annoys me. Talks about politics and world events but just makes shit up. Serial liar.

    Ugh, sorry bro. I am going to be in a similar situation soon I fear but mine might be a bit worse. My Mother in law AND Father in law may have to move in with us shortly. Plus, we have small kids.

    They are just totally financially irresponsible, it's crazy. They've been retired for years now--retiring even when they had no retirement savings or least insufficient funds given the choices they make....brilliant! On top of this, despite both of them getting decent--not huge mind you but decent--inheritances from their respective parents very late in life (including one inheritance of ~300k AFTER they retired) they are a few months away from declaring personal bankruptcy.

    It's not like they helped their kids out with college or anything like that either. Since retiring, they have traveled to Europe, Asia, and South America. They have taken my sister in laws kids on vacations to Disneyworld and other expensive places. We have refused to go on vacation with them as my wife (bless her soul) has tried numerous times to get them to face their financial reality. But, my mother in law refuses--gets very passive aggressive / cries, etc.--to understand she is not wealthy and is being totally irresponsible.

    On top of all of this, my in laws are super religious and preachy...and we totally disagree on politics (they are big Trump supporters).

    At the end of the day, they are family and we'll have to help them out but it's really hard to deal with people like this. People who see facts as they want to see them and that are totally out of touch with reality. Fortunately, my parents have their $hit together financially and my wife and I do as well--my parents also don't have ridiculous religious and political beliefs. But, if half the country is like my in laws God help us all.

    So, while I feel your pain, I have to say you're doing the right thing in helping your mother in law. Your wife sounds like a good lady. It's important to help family--even if they are annoying, mouth breathers with no understanding of economics and finance.
  • faster funnier
    4 years ago 01/16/2017 10:05am CST
    re: i don't recognize you
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    i don't recognize you wrote:

    increase your mileage

    Love it. Totally my solution too.

    I'm in a very similar spot right now. My father in law is currently inhabiting our couch. He quit his extremely lucrative job at walmart, and couldn't find a replacement job in time to pay rent, so my wife and I let him move in with the condition that he needs to get a new job and be out in 6 months. That was 8 months ago. He got a job at a supermarket a couple miles from our house, but couldn't remember when he had to work, ever. He would go in on days off, and fail to show on scheduled days. He also had no clue about the actual time, often going to work several (read 10-12) hours before scheduled. Obviously there's some cognitive dysfunction there. In short order it was apparent that something was bad and he was either fired or quit (he's not sure).

    So now he lives on the couch and only leaves it to smoke, eat, and use the bathroom. He doesn't even sleep in the bedroom we purposely fixed up for him in the basement (because he didn't want either of the two spare bedrooms we already had). Literally does not leave the couch. And he only watches old westerns and the Andy Grffith show. From 8PM to 10PM i have to hear that damn whistle every half hour.

    He's also unfathomably limited with regard to technology, and cannot handle even simple applications for jobs or government programs. We're in the process of applying for disability for him, but his latest visit to the neuropsychologist found them evaluating him as perhaps cognitively dysfunctional, but mostly they felt like he wasn't trying. UGH. He's also only 57, so can't get into section 8 housing or elderly care facilities without disability.

    We're at the point where we're probably going to pay for the cheapest apartment we can just to get him out of the damn house. And he can keep the couch.

    FML.
  • bort
    4 years ago 01/16/2017 11:47am CST
    re: faster funnier
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    Lol damn dude I felt my blood pressure rising just reading that. Marriage is hard enough with adding in that garbage. 57 is entirely too young to be completely helpless and unable to take care of yourself. That's ridiculous.
  • another one bites the duest
    4 years ago 01/17/2017 9:03am CST
    re: Unrecognized
    Forum Index

    RIP OP. I guess he was serious



    http://minnesota.cbslocal.com/2017/01/17/driver-killed-after-crashing-into-tree-in-stearns-county/
  • pop_pop!_v2.2.1
    4 years ago 01/17/2017 9:24am CST
    re: I feel your pain....
    Forum Index
    I feel your pain.... wrote:
    At the end of the day, they are family and we'll have to help them out but it's really hard to deal with people like this.

    A condition of support might be telling them to go to debtors anonymous. They aren't going to change on their own. I'm not kidding.
  • pop_pop!_v2.2.1
    4 years ago 01/17/2017 9:27am CST
    re: faster funnier
    Forum Index
    faster funnier wrote:
    his latest visit to the neuropsychologist found them evaluating him as perhaps cognitively dysfunctional, but mostly they felt like he wasn't trying. UGH.

    You need a Psych eval among other things.
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