Engagement ring help!

don't go to a jeweler, go to a place that buys/sells raw diamonds.example 1:Quality A diamond (i'm simplifying, but $3k gets you a great stone) - $3000Custom band/setting - $300Total - $3500 ishexample 2:Buy ring (quality A diamond) and band at a jeweler - $6000-7000Total - a lot f*cking more than if you did a tiny bit of work. Jewelry stores mark it up like crazyI'd go to a big store jeweler and get the experience, decide on what grade/cut diamond you want and then go shopping elsewhere for the loose stone with those specifications. OR go on Craigslist and buy one that a guy paid $7000 for and is trying to sell for $3000-3500. If you don't do this, you are an idiot who wants to waste money. Jewelery stores won't buy back the ring for what you paid either...cuz the markup. ask them about it if you don't believe me

Engagement Ring Help wrote:

I'm starting to think about an engagement ring for my significant other.

We have never gone to a jeweler browsing, and I want to make it a surprise for her. My main question to any LR'ers is if you made it a surprise, how did you figure out the ring size. Do jewelers re size if you get it wrong? I don't know anything about rings or where to get started.

Really appreciate the feedback. Along with everyone else, it's helping a lot with some great perspective.

Engagement Ring Help wrote:

Another quick topic. What are your thoughts on the lab created diamonds. Or even a ring with a different kind of stone if that's even a thing...

If you are on a budget, do not enter a jewelry store to shop for a diamond ring. Unlike a diamond, you'll get absolutely destroyed under the pressure.

I bought a lab created one for my wife. I don't know what else to say other than it's exactly the same material as a mined diamond only no indentured servants risked life and limb for it. Diamond jewelry is purely propaganda anyway.

My wife ultimately picked a different ring that wasn't man made. You are likely in the same boat as most men and know jack about jewelry or style, so there is nearly zero chance of you picking clothes or jewelry to suit her tastes. Asking a jeweler for help is going to be pointless. They'll sell you all that junk about quality to try and upsell you, when the defects aren't even visible to the naked eye. You (and she) most likely can't even tell the difference between cubic zirconia and diamond.

Agree with others that are saying to go to a pawn shop that buy and sell diamonds. Will be able to get something for $2,000 that would cost $3,000 at a jewelry store. My wife and I went to pick a ring out together and I bought it by myself later. Proposed to her 5-6 months later and she was totally surprised. Didn't see it coming at all. Picking the ring out together didn't take any excitement out of it. You'll want to be 100% sure she will like the ring because she'll be wearing it for the rest of her life.

I agree with the above poster, the pawn shop is the way to go if you want to save money. Like others said, make sure it comes with papers. Then later you can upgrade the ring if you've been married long enough amd take it back to the pawn shop if you're getting a divorce...😔

Pawn shop can be really the best solution for you!

I proposed my wife-to-be with a ring I bought 2 days before we got engaged. I got it at the online pawn shop

https://pawnbat.ca/jewelry/rings/engagement-rings/

. It was beautiful, unique, and very eye-catching.

Old thread, but a few points:

- Lab-created diamonds are not "fake." The other poster was not talking about moissanite, cz or other diamond substitutes. They are real diamonds, and they are typically of superior quality mined dimaonds. The only way that a jeweler can tell the difference is because they typically have a microscopic laser signature identifying them as lab-created. Otherwise, they're the same. You only save about 20% off the price of mined diamonds, so it's not an incredible deal, but at least your money isn't going into the hands of an international criminal antitrust conspiracy that's complicit in some of the worst human rights abuses in the world. Bottom line: same stones, but some are produced by entrepreneurial scientists, while others are produced by slaves.

- Diamonds, even lab-created ones, are absurdly expensive, and many women have no idea. They may say, "oh, I don't want anything too extravagant," but they don't realize that the "standard" 1.5ct diamond that they see their friends wearing may cost over 15k without the setting. When they realize that, and they realize how far that could go towards remodeling your kitchen or something, suddenly they may become a lot more interested in an affordable diamond substitute--which nobody other than a jeweler will ever recognize. If she's cool with something fake, then go for it. Just don't suggest it yourself. Let her bring it up after she gets a better sense of the economics.

- If you get a fake, you can actually be honest about it with most people, and they will not care. I can't tell you how many of my friends (who live in million+ dollar houses and condos) have been open about the fact that their rings are moissanite. It's post-2008, and financial responsibility is cool again.

- "Used" diamonds are a great deal. You need to get them appraised and re-set, but that's by far the way to go if you want the "real thing" and you don't want to pay a fortune. Pawn shops are okay. Local auction houses are often the best. The one problem is that a lot of old diamonds were not cut with the same level of sophistication as modern diamonds, so they may not have the same fire. Trust your eye, because that's what will matter in the end. If it looks gorgeous and sparkly, especially once you get it out from under the crazy lights they have pointed at it, then it's worth taking the time to get it appraised.

- Pave is very trendy at the moment, but it's a reasonably affordable way to make a smaller diamond look huge and bright, so that's something to consider.

4cs wrote:

it's very easy to figure out her ring size - take one of her rings - trace the inside circumference and there you go.

2. Do not under any circumstance get a lab created stone unless you really can't afford a true diamond. If she ever finds out or her friends find out that will be the end for you.

.

Yet tons of guys still do this because their finances haven't recovered from the Great Recession and they voted for Donald Trump hoping he could fix things

Engagement Ring Help wrote:

Thanks for the feedback so far. It sounds like it makes more sense to go together and get the ring for when she doesn't exactly suspect it. I was originally thinking it would take some of the excitement out of it, but maybe not ?

I went without her, and I don't regret it. I'm sure I got a ring that wasn't what she would have picked, but so what? She is very happy with it, assuming she is to be believed, and if we couldn't be honest with each other, we wouldn't have gotten married.

Also don't blow a massive amount of money on the ring, unless you can truly afford it. Better to have that extra money for your lives together. The average American man spends over 5000 on an engagement ring. The average man also makes only about 45,000 per year, so in my opinion can't afford this. A $1000 diamond looks an awful lot like a $5000 diamond once it is set into a $500 band.

If you're making enough money that you can easily afford your house payments, vacations, etc already, then by all means splurge on the ring if you would like. But if money is something you have to watch, better off paying off a third of your car loan and buying a more reasonably priced ring. I think my (now) wife would have been angry if I spent an egregious amount and she found out. I asked her to spend a reasonable amount on my ring too.

I also am glad I had mine custom made. So little in our society is unique, at least something we have can be a one-off. My friend picked the ring in a store and then shopped online to find the cheapest price for that exact ring. The concept of an engagement ring as a commodity is bizarre to me.

Regarding size, you should be able to judge fairly well in general terms if she had large hands or small hands for her height, etc, and have the jeweler help you pick a size close enough to have it sized after you get engaged.

Anyway, just my experiences.