Shocked and stunned wrote:
we are meeting at her place to talk tonight. She said she is upset at me acting like I am sitting on the fence about this. How should I play this tonight?
#1 don't meet at her place;
#2 meet her in person at a public place;
#3 break up with her and don't see her anymore.
been there homie wrote:
This was exactly my point, and what was so terrifying if you read my post. There are absolutely zero repercussions against females for doing stuff like this. The male will be ruined financially, and the child will end up with an absolute basket case for a mother. It's a sh*tty situation all around.
Yes, it sure is. I agree with your recommendations.
Get a paternity test wrote:
been there homie wrote:This was exactly my point, and what was so terrifying if you read my post. There are absolutely zero repercussions against females for doing stuff like this. The male will be ruined financially, and the child will end up with an absolute basket case for a mother. It's a sh*tty situation all around.
Yes, it sure is. I agree with your recommendations.
This thread makes me want to get a vasectomy. I of course know that females are manipulative, but I don't want them to be able to ruin my life (with full support of the State in doing so).
She set you up wrote:
#1 don't meet at her place;
#2 meet her in person at a public place;
#3 break up with her and don't see her anymore.
#4 paternity test.
#5 lawyer up and get a parenting agreement regarding custody, visitation, and support.
She's already shown you who she is when things get dicey. If you think she will become more understanding/cooperative later, she won't. It doesn't get better.
That said, there's some basic biologic imperatives in motion for her. And you sound a little vague on the protection, so don't make yourself out to be the victim.
Let's assume you made a kid. Do the right thing and be a part of the kid's life. The kid didn't ask to be born into the situation. Keep some distance between you and the ex though.
You have plenty to do. I hope you have the money to get it done. This is not the time to feel bad about yourself.
snip snip snip wrote:
This thread makes me want to get a vasectomy. I of course know that females are manipulative, but I don't want them to be able to ruin my life (with full support of the State in doing so).
Freeze a few before getting snipped.
If you want to marry her, then propose tonight. If you don't then tell her you aren't ready to get married yet and you need a few days to process it all because it's big news and you're kind of surprised. Tell her a baby isn't a reason to get married, and you can raise a baby without being married.
P.S. I'm giving this advice but think this is a troll because women tend to be very protective of the fact that they are pregnant at the very beginning. Lots can go wrong in the first few weeks, and most people wait to tell even their closest relative, especially with the first baby.
9/10
Well done!
Ok so now I am freaked out. I got a call from my mom while at work today. It turns out my gf called her and told her everything! Now I am feeling the heat since there is the whole grandmother factor! How can I just walk away now? Besides a kid is at stake. I'm not heartless, this just isn't how I wanted it to go down.
To those that say get a paternity test. Don't I need to wait until the baby is born to do that?
Shocked and stunned wrote:
Ok so now I am freaked out. I got a call from my mom while at work today. It turns out my gf called her and told her everything! Now I am feeling the heat since there is the whole grandmother factor! How can I just walk away now? Besides a kid is at stake. I'm not heartless, this just isn't how I wanted it to go down.
To those that say get a paternity test. Don't I need to wait until the baby is born to do that?
Calls you mom behind your back to turn cause pain in your life and to turn the screw to you.
This is another reason not to marry this festering, deceitful, walking piece of moist, steaming, stinking feces.
Sorry for being blunt but I think you know the truth. A 30 year old who "accidentally" got pregnant then called your mother is not marriage material. It takes two to make it work and this gold digger is not working on the relationship with you. Get the DNA test and if needed a custody or support agreement drawn up. Once your mother settles down and listens to you
(and her friends) she'll come around.
Right On wrote:
Flounder wrote:Assuming this isn't a troll post...
Whatever happens don't marry this thing. She is a lying, narcissistic evil woman who will always put her needs above everyone else. You don't want to spend the rest of your life with someone like this or you will be miserable.
Break up immediately.
It probably isn't your kid.
Visit her in a public place like a restaurant so that she is less likely to start throwing things at you. Tell her that you had a vasectomy two years ago and that you just went to your urologist to confirm that your sperm count is negligible. Watch her reaction closely. If she looks up, then she is trying to figure out which dude the real father might be. After the initial shock, say nothing, stand up and walk out. Don't talk to her at all for several days.
Assuming she decides to have the little b@stard and if she insists that it is yours then get the DNA test before committing to anything.
Good luck with your next girlfriend.
Not sure if he is joking or not but this is actually the best advice I've seen given on this thread so far. With protection AND her on the pill there is just about 0% chance of you getting her pregnant. She is either lying or its not yours.
It is good advice, but baloney to your zero percent chance she could get pregnant. The only way there is zero percent chance is no sex.
Call the Maury Show now at 1-888-456-2879!
Flounder wrote:
Assuming this isn't a troll post...
Poor assumption. 0/10 troll post. Vasectomy recommended.
Bullet the Blue Sky wrote:
If you want to marry her, then propose tonight.
Think about how the other half of the relationship has acted and reconsider this advice. It would be a terrible choice in the next 12 months. Terrible doesn't really cover how bad a decision that would be.
Shocked and stunned wrote:
To those that say get a paternity test. Don't I need to wait until the baby is born to do that?
There's a non-invasive test using the mother's blood. Do it.
You had better lawyer-up at the same time.
Shocked and stunned wrote:
How can I just walk away now? Besides a kid is at stake. I'm not heartless, this just isn't how I wanted it to go down.
It must be nice to have lived a life where this is the first time something hasn't gone exactly to plan.
The long-term prospects with the GF are not looking good. At all. Not even a little. Look what she's doing all around you.
Reasonable people would never advocate to totally abandon the relationship. You probably have a kid now. You need to lawyer-up and get visitation, support, etc. worked out now. When the kid comes, assuming it's yours, everyone's expectations are clear. The kid's life can be pretty orderly this way. Otherwise, the situation gets worse instead of better.
Maybe it all works out anyway and it turns into a long term romantic relationship. Maybe not. I don't know why you would stick around after how she's treating you.
You need to have the legal stuff worked out now.
10/10 troll.
Tell your GF "What ever comes out of you is ** yours ** ...
And get to Mexico, quick!
Well, your gf lied to you and figured that getting pregnant, would cause you to marry her and that she would have a dream wedding and a lifetime of manipulating you.
If this is not someone you want to marry then don't. Tell her that you aren't ready to get married. She can go through with the pregnancy and you can provide whatever support the government demands. You can eventually get a paternity test, and get out of future support.
Is this someone you were considering marrying? If so, be ready for a life of manipulation.
Here’s the short version. First, for men: If you put your sperm anywhere near a woman’s reproductive tract, you had better be prepared to raise a child with her. Your ejaculation is your signature on a contract authorizing her to carry any resulting pregnancy to term and to enlist you as the father. If you aren’t prepared to sign that contract, ejaculate somewhere else. Don’t complain later that you weren’t consulted about subsequent decisions. The only decision you get is the one at the outset.
For women: Protect yourself. Unless you’re prepared to be a mother, never have any kind of sex that can lead to pregnancy without using effective birth control. (The same goes for men—even more so, since they have no right to intervene once they’ve deposited sperm.) Do this for yourself, for your partner, and for the child you might conceive. Contraception is awesome. It empowers you to postpone maternity till you’re properly situated. Using that power isn’t just a right. It’s a responsibility.
bernd wrote:
Here’s the short version. First, for men: If you put your sperm anywhere near a woman’s reproductive tract, you had better be prepared to raise a child with her. Your ejaculation is your signature on a contract authorizing her to carry any resulting pregnancy to term and to enlist you as the father. If you aren’t prepared to sign that contract, ejaculate somewhere else. Don’t complain later that you weren’t consulted about subsequent decisions. The only decision you get is the one at the outset.
For women: Protect yourself. Unless you’re prepared to be a mother, never have any kind of sex that can lead to pregnancy without using effective birth control. (The same goes for men—even more so, since they have no right to intervene once they’ve deposited sperm.) Do this for yourself, for your partner, and for the child you might conceive. Contraception is awesome. It empowers you to postpone maternity till you’re properly situated. Using that power isn’t just a right. It’s a responsibility.
Lol. Accidents happen the guy has the right to suggest abortion and the woman should seriously consider.