The first rule of Runners Revolt Club: Never talk about Runners Revolt Club.
The second rule of Runners Revolt Club: Never talk about Runners Revolt Club.
With that out of the way...one time, at band camp, I was doing a hard seven-miler around the lake when my counselor, who was kind of a perv, went roaring by in his convertible. He didn't know the runner he was watching was one of his charges because I was dressed in full scuba gear. Anyway, the guy pulled alongside, stood up in the driver's seat, and I looked over to see him buck naked except for a Kermit the Frog puppet covering his meatpole. He cackled and threw a lit cigar at me. I caught it in my teeth, leaped into the car, and before he could even react, whipped off the puppet and using the stogie (a Swisher Sweet, as I recall) burned my initials into the tender meat of his glans penis. As he howled in agony, teeth bared and grimacing up at the heavens, I speared him in the ass with my harpoon, jumped out, and continued along as the out-of-control convertible soared into a tree and burst into flames. All throughout I never dropped below 5:30 pace.
Taught that bastard a lesson he never forgot!