whats yours?
Then, you must cut down the mightiest tree in the forest, with....a herring.
whats yours?
Then, you must cut down the mightiest tree in the forest, with....a herring.
Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition! Our chief weapons are surprise...surprise and fear...fear and surprise...
jim
Make him sit in the comfy chair!!!!!!!!!!
The Pirhana brothers,born on probation.
And now to Mrs.Severed Aurola.
He nailed me head to the floor!!!!!!!
SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM
This is a Wottle
it's a symbol of our land
You can put it in a bottle
or hold it in yer hand
awwww spit!!!!!!!
Is yer name not Bruce???????
b0B
(appropriate for this site)
Run away!
Run awaaaaaaaayyyyyyy!
Is this the room for an argument?
I dont' know, is it?
You tell me.
I asked you.
and that goes on for about 10 more minutes. classic.
you are all individuals
To which the mob replies,
"You are all individuals."
And an old elderly gentleman stands up,
"I'm not."
IRONY AT IT'S BEST!!
Probably one of the wittiest scenes I've ever seen in a movie!
CROWD: A witch! A witch! A witch! We've got a witch! A witch!
VILLAGER #1: We have found a witch, might we burn her?
CROWD: Burn her! Burn!
BEDEMIR: How do you know she is a witch?
VILLAGER #2: She looks like one.
BEDEMIR: Bring her forward.
WITCH: I'm not a witch. I'm not a witch.
BEDEMIR: But you are dressed as one.
WITCH: They dressed me up like this.
CROWD: No, we didn't -- no.
WITCH: And this isn't my nose, it's a false one.
BEDEMIR: Well?
VILLAGER #1: Well, we did do the nose.
BEDEMIR: The nose?
VILLAGER #1: And the hat -- but she is a witch!
CROWD: Burn her! Witch! Witch! Burn her!
BEDEMIR: Did you dress her up like this?
CROWD: No, no... no ... yes. Yes, yes, a bit, a bit.
VILLAGER #1: She has got a wart.
BEDEMIR: What makes you think she is a witch?
VILLAGER #3: Well, she turned me into a newt.
BEDEMIR: A newt?
VILLAGER #3: I got better.
VILLAGER #2: Burn her anyway!
CROWD: Burn! Burn her!
BEDEMIR: Quiet, quiet. Quiet! There are ways of telling whether
she is a witch.
CROWD: Are there? What are they?
BEDEMIR: Tell me, what do you do with witches?
VILLAGER #2: Burn!
CROWD: Burn, burn them up!
BEDEMIR: And what do you burn apart from witches?
VILLAGER #1: More witches!
VILLAGER #2: Wood!
BEDEMIR: So, why do witches burn?
[pause]
VILLAGER #3: B--... 'cause they're made of wood...?
BEDEMIR: Good!
CROWD: Oh yeah, yeah...
BEDEMIR: So, how do we tell whether she is made of wood?
VILLAGER #1: Build a bridge out of her.
BEDEMIR: Aah, but can you not also build bridges out of stone?
VILLAGER #2: Oh, yeah.
BEDEMIR: Does wood sink in water?
VILLAGER #1: No, no.
VILLAGER #2: It floats! It floats!
VILLAGER #1: Throw her into the pond!
CROWD: The pond!
BEDEMIR: What also floats in water?
VILLAGER #1: Bread!
VILLAGER #2: Apples!
VILLAGER #3: Very small rocks!
VILLAGER #1: Cider!
VILLAGER #2: Great gravy!
VILLAGER #1: Cherries!
VILLAGER #2: Mud!
VILLAGER #3: Churches -- churches!
VILLAGER #2: Lead -- lead!
ARTHUR: A duck.
CROWD: Oooh.
BEDEMIR: Exactly! So, logically...,
VILLAGER #1: If... she.. weighs the same as a duck, she's made of
wood.
BEDEMIR: And therefore--?
VILLAGER #1: A witch!
CROWD: A witch!
BEDEMIR: We shall use my largest scales!
[yelling]
BEDEMIR: Right, remove the supports!
[whop]
[creak]
CROWD: A witch! A witch!
WITCH: It's a fair cop.
CROWD: Burn her! Burn!
[yelling]
"He was nay so much a man... as a blancmange"
"Oh yeah, well when I was a kid my father would wake us up at 10pm half an hour before we went to bed, then he would make us work at the mill all day for 29 hours staright and when we got back home to the shoe box he would kill us all dance on our graves!!"
or
"Are you here for the arguement, or the blow job."
"Pardon me, good sir. Would you care for a teensy weensy wafer thin after dinner mint?"
"Fuck off! I couldn't eat another bite."
I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.
and now for something completely different. . . a man with three buttocks
not sure that's a line... and now for something completely different.
"Look, it's the old man from scene 23!"
"Dear Lord, bless this thy hand grenade, that with it thy may blow thine enemies to nasty bits, in thy mercy."
"I said, you won't have much fun in Stalingrad now will you, Mr. Hilter."
"...AND THEY MUST BE SHOOTING FROM A RANGE OF AT LEAST ONE FOOT!"
"Oops. I wet 'em."
"Come at me with that Banana"
or
"Tis merely a flesh wound"
Oh! Intercourse the penguin!
Or
Might get a bit confusing. What say we call you Bruce.
"I 'll bite your legs off!"
"I fart in your general direction!"
"Perhaps if we made a large wooden badger.."
"Oh, shut up!"
I wave my private parts in your face, monsieur!
"It's not dead, it's just rsting."
I love that skit...
Angus Podgurnie What do ya mean...