How to deal with Love-Shyness?

Also, maybe don't take advice from other men who are love-shy. It's like the blind leading the blind.

Going out and banging "6s and 7s" is not fulfilling and not a healthy way to get past your love-shyness. I believe in karma and being a good person. Banging people just to get experience is a really messed up worldview. Women are not objects.

The reason why it seems like women like bad boys or women fall for men that are jerks is not because women inherently like bad boys or jerks. These men are guys that put themselves out there and accept rejection. They're the ones taking action. Those are the guys that make painstaking effort to be with a woman and they'll get rejected 20 or 50 times before someone says yes. They're playing a number's game. So please don't believe that the only way to get women is to bang a lot of them and to be a jerk or bad boy.

You need experience with women. Healthy experiences. Not meaningless and random hookups. Then you will have a warped sense of love and still be unable to find genuine happiness with a woman.

That's exactly the type of attitude that keeps love-shy guys from relationships.

That's simply not how the world works. You can either take my advice or leave it but don't nitpick at my advice when I'm taking the time to help guys gain more perspective. I noticed all the responses are from males. I don't have to respond at all and leave you guys clueless and maybe you guys are okay with that.

I am heavily pursued by a lot of men on a daily basis. I have been engaged, I have a kid. I have a very happy and busy dating life. I have NO NEED to form a plan of action to be with a man. What turned it around for me was this guy's persistence. There's nothing wrong with me or him! We just need better communication with each other. Part of his love-shyness was preventing him from telling me how he feels. People aren't mind readers.

Anyone else who wants to ask me constructive questions instead of attacking me, feel free. But I'm not here to validate you or explain myself. Sheesh.

Somebody said:

"First of all play in your league. If you are a 6 look for girls who are 6's and do on according to your number. Remember that women love confidence, and don't forget that no one has ever died from being rejected. Being rejected is part of the game and it happens to everyone. Brad pit, Tom Brady and every dude who has ever tried to get laid has been rejected at one time or another so go for it."

The whole concept of dating in your league is silly and will close you off to many opportunities. Yes, it's true that if you're a mess, have no hopes and dreams, unemployed due to lack of motivation or laziness (not someone who is unemployed due to circumstance as women will overlook this in favor of a man with hopes and dreams with the action-plan and tenacity to pursue their goals, that is a huge turn-on), put ZERO efforts into your looks like your hair is oily, smell, dress like a bum etc., then you need to date a woman who also is a mess with no hopes and dreams, smells or whatever else.

It's not because women hate men who smell, dresses like a bum or has no outside interests rather it's a turn-off because it shows a man does not value himself, has little or no pride in himself, and has no concept of what is appropriate in society. That would turn anyone off.

Men would be turned off by women if the situation was reversed.

Fine, if you are smoking hot then it's easier to get girls and vice versa. But the vast majority of people are not smoking hot.

For the most part, women are attracted to a guy's spirit, not his looks.

I'm an extremely beautiful woman and it makes me sad when I miss opportunities with genuinely great guys because they think I'm out of their league. It happens all the time. I have men facebook message me or text me out of the blue, co-workers or former classmates to tell me they always wanted to ask me out but didn't think I would be interested. This could not be further from the truth. I would have given any of those guys a chance had they befriended me first and asked me out after getting to know them.

Every one of my ex boyfriends were "3s to 6s" or less in the looks department. Not a single one of my ex was wealthy either. I have my own looks and wealth and don't look for that in a man whatsoever. Some women do obviously but a lot of us don't.

I was reading up on this the other day and came across this thread that I 100% identify with and it's nice to know I'm not alone in the way I feel about guys dating within their own "league". Most of the responses echo the same sentiments I'm sharing with you here. A lot of sadness and loneliness for us because of lost opportunities. Maybe if you read some of the responses (not all of the responses are great, some attractive men and women are genuinely shallow and vapid but so are unattractive men and women too! Beauty has little to do with someone having a great or shallow personality. Some people are just ugly inside regardless of how they look).

Here's the link:

https://www.quora.com/What-is-it-like-to-be-pretty-very-attractive

Yes, I get asked out a lot. Too much sometimes. But a genuine guy can easily break through with persistence (again, not creepy stalker persistence because I have those men and women who I know like me just for my looks and I HATE that) and I see that he has a genuine heart.

Dating 6s because you think you're a 6 will close off happiness for you and is an unnecessary way of viewing the world. Pursue whomever you like because you like them, not because you perceive them to be in or out of your league.

Just stumbled on this posting and read your reply to it from a couple of years back. Have to say thanks for the insight. Really does help when people explain things because the lack of communication in our society only seems to complicate things even more. Am male adult with no siblings which I think that may have had something to do with my inability to be able to connect with other people and led to me being really maladjusted later in life. Overprotective and strict parents along with having no friends and being teased early on can really do a number on confidence and self-esteem. Anyhow, yeah thanks again for that post reply from a couple years back. I know women are also going through a lot right now in this day and age and do empathize with the ones who are struggling and trying to find peace of mind. Take care.

Just go up say Hi and see what happens