Thanks, malmo, I finally got it to work. Thankfully there is the click and drag format feature on Excel, otherwise concatenating 1000s of cells would take forever. I was stuck for a few minutes at the very last step because I was trying to import the concatenated dates from text, but they would only give me the option to sort A to Z and vice versa. Like you said (which I overlooked at first), you need to copy the values from the actual text file and paste them into the cells (without importing).
Here's my proof that I did it correctly with the 5K times.
6 12:44.39 Haile Gebrselassie ETH 18.04.73 1 Z黵ich 8/16/1995
8 12:45.09 Daniel Komen KEN 17.05.76 1 Z黵ich 8/14/1996
5 12:41.86 Haile Gebrselassie ETH 18.04.73 1 Z黵ich 8/13/1997
7 12:44.90 Daniel Komen KEN 17.05.76 2 Z黵ich 8/13/1997
3 12:39.74 Daniel Komen KEN 17.05.76 1 Bruxelles 8/22/1997
2 12:39.36 Haile Gebrselassie ETH 18.04.73 1 Helsinki 6/13/1998
14 12:48.81 Stephen Cherono KEN 15.10.82 1 Ostrava 6/12/2003
1 12:37.35 Kenenisa Bekele ETH 13.06.82 1 Hengelo 5/31/2004
9 12:46.53 Eliud Kipchoge KEN 05.11.84 1 Roma 7/2/2004
10 12:47.04 Sileshi Sihine ETH 29.01.83 2 Roma 7/2/2004
4 12:40.18 Kenenisa Bekele ETH 13.06.82 1 Saint-Denis 7/1/2005
12 12:48.25 Kenenisa Bekele ETH 13.06.82 1 Z黵ich 8/18/2006
13 12:48.66 Issac Songok KEN 25.04.84 2 Z黵ich 8/18/2006
11 12:48.09 Kenenisa Bekele ETH 13.06.82 1 Bruxelles 8/25/2006
I can see a lot of cool data tables being made sorting by dates. Calculating age at time of race (race date - birth date) to get youngest ever under xx:xx:xx at [event], a progression of world records for obscure events that might not be online (2000m steeple e.g.), average age of all competitors between xx:xx:xx and xx:xx:xx at [event], etc.
Sorry I didn't respond earlier, I had a bunch of class work to do for today. I appreciate the help, malmo.