In-Law Superbowl Survival: 70% chance of a fistfight

If people are going to get in fights, there's nothing you can do about it.

If you're concerned about it, don't have a party.

You can always tell everyone that there will be no alcohol allowed at the party.

step1: get a gun

step2: make sure everyone in the house knows good and goddamn well you have the gun. as in stand in front of the tv with the gun in your hands at kickoff and say 'if any of you motherfvkcers starts a fight im gonna keeel yo asssss!'

step3: enjoy the game.

I agree with surprise, if you think there are going to be unavoidable fights then just don't have the party. Of course, odds are that the Steelers are going to win so you shouldn't have a problem. Steeler fans are, typically, enourmous assholes.

just another guy wrote:

I agree with surprise, if you think there are going to be unavoidable fights then just don't have the party. Of course, odds are that the Steelers are going to win so you shouldn't have a problem. Steeler fans are, typically, enourmous assholes.

To be clear, my wife has invited these people to our home and they will be there. In theory I could:

1. tell Steelers in-laws they are uninvited

2. tell Packers in-laws same

3. uninvite everyone

In reality my wife has already said no to all of the above, she just does'nt get it.

So far the gun idea actually sounds sensible.

My best suggestion from friends is either I make a beer run in the 2nd half and just don't come back till the game/fight is over so my wife can't blame me, or if it starts to breakdown "invite" one side to go with me on a beer run and then just take them to a bar and tell them its on me.

Just sucks, I don't care about the Packers or Steelers and I gotta deal with this. At this point I almost hope all hell breaks loose just so I can tell my wife I told you so.

It always amazes me when grown men take the watching (not the actual playing) of sports so damn seriously that they fight over it. I understand fighting to protect yourself, your family, or your property, but fighting over sports? I mean, these are typically fat, lazy, drunken slobs who have no vested interest in the outcome of a game. In fact, the players themselves, the people who DO have a lot at stake, don't carry around the anger and hostility that your average fan does. Hell, most of the Packers and Steelers players would be friends off the field. Besides, how can you hate a team if several of its star players may be playing for your team the next season?

I'm a Cowboys fan, and I love getting together with my Eagles friends when the two teams play. We always have fun, no matter the outcome.

Tony Momo wrote:

I'm a Cowboys fan, and I love getting together with my Eagles friends when the two teams play. We always have fun, no matter the outcome.

Well the Cowboys and Eagles don't play in the Superbowl at the same time now do they.

I hate you.

Eagles Fan

P.S. Outcome matters, do you cheer your opponets own when they surge past you in a race?? What a great sport you are.

I say get the Steelers fans drunk till they pass out that should solve your problem.

Eagles Fan wrote:

Well the Cowboys and Eagles don't play in the Superbowl at the same time now do they.

I hate you.

Eagles Fan

P.S. Outcome matters, do you cheer your opponets own when they surge past you in a race?? What a great sport you are.

I say get the Steelers fans drunk till they pass out that should solve your problem.

Um, did you read anything that the Cowboys fan wrote? Are you stupid or something? Oh, sorry, you're an Eagles fan. You'd kill your own daughter if she wore non-Eagles gear.

When the evening starts to veer off the tracks, get up and unplug the tv, tell everyone they'd better get it together, cut the crap and stop acting like children. If this drives them into belligerence and s***-talking then tell them all to get the hell out and finish watching the game in peace when they've gone. It's your home, if your guests can't respect that you need to tell them to get the f' out.

I hate to break it to you Coach, but the situation you've described tells me that you are white (or some other color) trash. Grown men fighting over a game is something that white trash does.

I am sorry.

Well, that may be overly harsh. You may not be white trash since you'd be breaking up the fight rather than chanting "Jerry, Jerry, Jerry!". But your friends/family are white trash, no getting around that.

A possible solution to your quandry though might be to move your trailer to a different park. That way, when everyone shows up to the party, all they'll find is an empty lot. Of course this may anger and confuse your friends/family and they may begin assulting each other in the empty lot, but at least then they'll be the sheriff's problem and not yours.

Best of luck!

Bong hits for everyone!

MonkeyMan wrote:

I hate to break it to you Coach, but the situation you've described tells me that you are white (or some other color) trash. Grown men fighting over a game is something that white trash does.

I am sorry.

Well, that may be overly harsh. You may not be white trash since you'd be breaking up the fight rather than chanting "Jerry, Jerry, Jerry!". But your friends/family are white trash, no getting around that.

A possible solution to your quandry though might be to move your trailer to a different park. That way, when everyone shows up to the party, all they'll find is an empty lot. Of course this may anger and confuse your friends/family and they may begin assulting each other in the empty lot, but at least then they'll be the sheriff's problem and not yours.

Best of luck!

Thanks for stating the obvious. They are in-laws not my blood. I forget how many studs like you there are in the running community who can post trash but would never think of actually fighting. Too bad you can't attend and let them know your thoughts, a common enemy might solve my problems.

Get more women to come to the party. For whatever reason, the presence of women at this kind of gathering tends to reduce the chances of guys getting out of hand. Of course, it doesn't eliminate the possibility of carnage, but guys tend to behave a little better when there are a number of women in the room, in my experience.

Plus, you've already done the most important thing - you've made it clear to your wife that you think this will end badly and would prefer to not have the party. So if things do get out of hand, it shouldn't cause any problems between the two of you (i.e., it's not your fault).

Coach Gandhi wrote:

I forget how many studs like you there are in the running community who can post trash but would never think of actually fighting. Too bad you can't attend and let them know your thoughts, a common enemy might solve my problems.

You are 100% correct. I would not think of actually fighting because that's what white trash does and I'm not white trash. See how that works?

You're good people Coach. While I must regretfully decline your invitation, if you post your address I'd happily drop ship a set of commemorative Dale Earnhardt plates to your residence. These plates have been shown to reduce the possibility of violence amongst the trucker hat brigade. As much as they might want to "crack open a can of whup a$s" on their rival, the risk of committing the ultimate sacrilege by destroying something bearing the Earnhardt visage usually keeps the savage beasts calmed.

Godspeed and fair seas, Coach.

Only allow the commercials to be viewed in the second half. EVERYONE loves the commercials.

Worth a Try wrote:

Get more women to come to the party. For whatever reason, the presence of women at this kind of gathering tends to reduce the chances of guys getting out of hand. Of course, it doesn't eliminate the possibility of carnage, but guys tend to behave a little better when there are a number of women in the room, in my experience.

Considering most male Steeler fans are not straight, they would probably be more irritated and wound up because of the women. Nobody likes to be reminded of their shortcomings.

Steelers win the game, Packers fans at your party will win the fight. Even the nanciest of a Packers fan can take out a pack of flaming Steeler fans.

Word.

Tell this joke at halftime, possibly replacing Packers with Steelers, depending on who seems more ticked off at the time.

A group of Packers fans at a home game noticed an empty seat next to a man who appeared to be by himself. One of them asked the man how is it possible that someone would not show up to watch a Packers game. The man said that he sat with his wife in those two seats for every Packers home game the past 30 years. But then she died, so now he's sitting alone to watch the game. The Packers fans around the man were touched by his heartbreaking tale. One of them then asked, but don't you have a family member or a friend of your wife's who you could have invited to the game? No, said the man, they're all at the funeral.

How about being a man? Tell these f*****g idiots they better not f**k around in your house over the results of a football game. If they do, they're complete losers and they wont ever be invited to your place again. End of story. Have fun, enjoy the game, trash talk the opponent in a friendly manner, move on with your life.

Or you could take your buddies' side and help them kick the shit out of your wife's friends.