So I'm taking creative writing right now and one of our previous essays we had to write was a "how-to", not like "step 1; remove pop tart from taster" but rather a creative way to tell someone the best way to go about something. I decided to mess around a little bit and decided to write on how to basically look like a tool/wannabe gang member.
All criticism's are welcome, encouraged in fact, this wasnt a serious paper just me joking around a little bit. So dont take it seriously, just a guy having a little fun at 3 in the morning. I thought it was pretty funny but thats just me and my friends, I'd rather hear what a fellow runner has to say about it though.
Its called, "How to be White; a memoir"
There’s many different ways to be white, the most obvious of those being that you are born with white skin. One of the other common ways though is to simply be a “G”, as they say, and proceed to talk in a “proper” fashion or differently from how you talk to your “homies.” However, the most effective and efficient way is to be a white person and try to not be white, or as they say in the “neighborhood”, a “cracker.” It’s really quite easy, but usually you don’t even realize your doing it until someone points it out.
When speaking to your friends, don’t refer to them as your friends but rather as your “brothers”, “sisters” or “homies.” “Homeskillets” and “G’s” also works as well. Abandon listening to that ever so “hip” country and pop music you’ve grown to adore and pick up the nearest rap CD you can find and try to “drop some beats” with it.
Wear your clothing in the largest sizes you can find, and if you’re worried about belts or your pants falling, don’t, you want to look as “gangster” as possible. If you can drive then go to the nearest mod shop and pick up an escalade, complete with spinning rims and ever so “fly” fuzzy dice.
Pick up a pair of either Nikes, DC’s or basketball shoes and get them in the craziest and most “whack” colors you can find. Don’t tie the laces; true “gangsters” enjoy the danger of nearly tripping every 3rd step. Grow a goatee or a razor thin douche bag beard. Complete the ensemble with oversize crystal crosses, diamond ear studs and a saggy chain. If all works out, then you should become the whitest person to have ever walked on this green Earth.
tell me what you thought and if I should add any ohter ridiculous stuff to it, the crazier the better. I might be using this as a mid term essay and my teacher likes crazy stuff so let your minds go wild, just dont be "overly" racist. "discreetly" racist might be ok though.