I have a friend who is letting herself go. Convincing her to exercise would change the course her life is taking, but how can I do it in a way that doesn't make her feel like doo doo?
I have a friend who is letting herself go. Convincing her to exercise would change the course her life is taking, but how can I do it in a way that doesn't make her feel like doo doo?
Suggest to her that she try out for the show, "The Biggest Loser."
Let them have those difficult conversations.
Ask her how she's feeling? When (hopefully) the response is not 100% positive, you can suggest doing something, perhaps with you, to get invigorated.
You could work into conversation, someone else who is currently going down that path, and speak negatively of that person. Maybe via association, she'll get a sense for how you feel about her current status.
Honestly? Probably not. The only way I'd see it working is to invite her to join you for a run or something. And then don't half-step her the whole time.
it's a difficult thing because some ladies dont understand the human body was meant to sweat
Ever see the episode of The Office where the Scranton office is in a competition with the other offices to see who can lose the most weight and Dwight asks Phyllis to come on a sales call with him and then leaves her 9 miles from the office without her purse or phone so that she has to walk back? You could try something like that.
Tell her you read that fat people sweat butter, then put some on her clothes. She'll figure it out.
Write her an anonymous letter with an exercise and diet programme included.
The only thing to do really is ask her what kind of exercise she enjoys doing and how often she does it. Just get her thinking about it/talking about it and see what she says. She may not care, or feels guilty about the time spent on herself or anyway see what her reaction is. She might not realize that people notice that she has let herself go.
I see why you want to convince her to not let her go, but it may not go over well. Maybe just speaking in general terms about facts is better. Remind her how much harder it gets to lose weight as you get older. I've given people the example that I gained 5 pounds after not running for 6 months when I was 26. When I was 36 I didn't run for 10 weeks and gained 10 pounds. 8 months later I am still getting rid of those last 2-3 pounds. A personal story makes it seem less of you, in a superior position, giving advice.
When she asks: Does this dress make me look fat?
She likely is having trouble coping with some problem. Why not be a friend and ask her about it?
Ekiden man wrote:
it's a difficult thing because some ladies dont understand the human body was meant to sweat
Hit the nail on the head. She hates exercising.
She's about 40lbs overweight, and at 5'7" she's not out of control yet. But she's headed there. The way I see it, even if talking to her about it makes her feel bad, if I'm successful then the rest of her life will be way better than it would be otherwise. A good friend would do that, right?
She's obviously not going to like the idea of RUNNING, and the idea of EXERCISE is probably not very appealing to her either.
Help her find some sort of physical activity that she does enjoy. That's the only way she'll stick with anything and see results. Maybe dancing? Martial arts? Yoga? Nature hikes? Offer to do it with her. Girls usually dislike doing things alone, especially new things.
Honestly, if she's 40lbs overweight, diet probably has a lot more to do with it than exercise. She's not going to lose much weight unless she makes dietary changes.
She knows she's fat. She doesn't need you to tell her that. If you're not prepared to spend time with her doing stuff, don't bother lecturing her.
Say NO, your fat makes you look fat.
'A good friend would do that, right?'
Yes, and a fecking idiot
I found diet and exercise go together. you have to have something to diet for, besides "only" the slim body. something that gives you more satisfaction. You run, that is a part of losing weight, you also diet, you lose weight, running gets easier, you run more.... (ideally)
also: for "run" you can insert any sport!
But: if she finds she does not LIKE sports and just finds them a nuisance (there's lots of chicks like that), there is literally no hope other than appealing to her self-respect and sence of aesthetics.
No...there is NO way to 'tactfully' say that she 'needs to start exercising. All you can do is suggest healthy fun activities, don't take her out for fast food meals and just be her friend. She is well aware that she is packing some extra pounds. It is not your problem. And just because she might weigh less doesn't mean her life will be great all of a sudden. Leave it be.
Wouldn't you be upset if a 'friend' told you that you need to be better at something because in their opinion you would be so much happier? How about if your girlfried said that sex would be better if.......
Yes, because that is a great analogy. People often die young with heart problems due to being bad at sex.
notfat wrote:
Wouldn't you be upset if a 'friend' told you that you need to be better at something because in their opinion you would be so much happier? How about if your girlfried said that sex would be better if.......
Another angle - she might be preparing herself for the coming ice age!
I'd invite her to go workout with you, try and convince her it will be fun, and having someone there with her will help her go, i know a lot of girls are intimidated to go to the gym alone.