NRR: Spending Christmas Alone

Either course of action seems good; I just wanted to point out that, in my view at least, wanting to spend time with your family at Christmas (or any other time really) is not a sign that you are not "independent and emotionally secure," even if some goofballs on this board, or elsewhere in life, might think so. Don't be like a kid that won't let his mother kiss him goodbye in the morning because the other seventh-graders might make fun of him. That being said, you certainly don't have to spend Christmas with your family if you don't want to.

And good for you for doing something charitable; try to keep up that Christmas spirit all throughout the year! Hope you have a merry Christmas!

I think your path is fine. Be sure to portray it in a positive light when people ask you what you did for XMAS. I had a memorable Thanksgiving alone one year. Went for a nice 16 mile run, and just chilled. Was totally cool with it.

You don't have to be alone. Go to church.

but go home for Xmas next week and see your family no matter what happened to piss you off. Life is too short and people die. If someone dies in the coming year and you didn't see them then you'll regret it for the rest of you life. You don't know what's in store for yourself either. So bite the bullet and go home.

eh, I would prefer not to go back to my hometown and spend Christmas with the fam. I'm doing quite well in my life too, no problems. The thing is, my parents are both f***ing insane and I can't stand to be around them for more than a few minutes. I didn't go back for Thanksgiving, and I know they were kind of hurt, so I feel like I have to go back for Christmas. I'm just so torn because I really want to see my grandmother and some of my high school friends who I only see once or twice a year, but I hate spending time in town, and I really want to spend Christmas with my gf (she probably won't go with me back to my hometown). I just wish my parents could be normal...

To the OP, do whatever you think is best for you. A lot of times the natural response from someone who's down is to isolate themselves further, which actually adds to their depression. Sometimes getting out and doing something, even if one doesn't initially want to, is the best thing for them. Without knowing you and your family personally I can't tell you what's best for you. I think volunteering is great idea though if you're not gonna go "home."

Go home anyways. Even if you have to lie up an excuse for arriving late and leaving early for the family Xmas get-together. In my case my Mom & Dad are from the 60's generation and had many *other* friends. My parents divorced when my Dad kept having friends even though he is in his 50s now. My Dad is an engineer, runs 1/2s and roads, has tons of money, and pays my mom handsomely to shop and keep quiet. He lives in a Class B RV and travels the country around all year long, flying his airplanes, goes to Worlds/NCAAs/etc, and hooking up with young women. At Xmas it's the only time I see my Dad. We're Asian and not one of us are Christians so my Mom has a tree and we exchange presents. My sisters and brothers hate my Dad for his fooling around, but Dad bought us new cars in high school, iPhones, Mac Books, everything. So we had finals too and I'm going home on Monday. You only have one family, like it or not.