Are Obituaries Ever Accurate?

You truly are clueless.

Most newspapers now charge $$$ to run obituaries. It is like purchasing ad space, so the purchaser has control of the content. Funeral home directors usually draft obits with information provided by the family. The family has final copy approval.

In the case you describe, it is obvious that at least one member of the murderer's family (probably the one paying for his funeral and thus, the obit) is in total denial, and wants the world to remember this loser as a great guy.

slackderdom wrote:

You truly are clueless.

Explain. But before doing so, note that my questions were mostly rhetorical. I certainly understand how all the flowery language gets put in an obit, but just once I'd like to see one that is honest. The guy I described deserved no kind words from anyone.

Undertaker wrote:

Most newspapers now charge $$$ to run obituaries. It is like purchasing ad space, so the purchaser has control of the content. Funeral home directors usually draft obits with information provided by the family. The family has final copy approval.

In the case you describe, it is obvious that at least one member of the murderer's family (probably the one paying for his funeral and thus, the obit) is in total denial, and wants the world to remember this loser as a great guy.

Not exactly correct. Newspapers charge for the space of a larger obit, a "life story," but do not give final copy approval to the family (if this is a real newspaper you speak of, anyway).

Often, the funeral home will pay the newspaper, and the info sheet they give is all the paper has to go by. A reporter then has the option of talking to the family and friends, who will no doubt give a glowing review.

As for the original question, obits are always accurate (unless there's an inadvertent mistake) but can be very "colorful" at the same time. The general rule is you don't talk shit about the dead in a small town, no matter who they were or what they did.

You are not saying why the husband killed his wife, did she have it coming? Driving into a tree could have been an accident, tragic for the children.

Kevin M. Field?

life is unfair - get over it wrote:

Kevin M. Field?

This certainly fits the description:

Murder

Obituary

Obituaries are paid for and written by the next of kin. If this guy killed his wife, the obituary was probably written by his parents if they're around, or by a brother or sister.

Someone going to the trouble to pay to bury someone and pay for an obituary isn't going to air dirty laundry in an obituary. It's just human nature.

loch ness monster wrote: did she have it coming?

Absolutely not.

life is unfair - get over it wrote:

Kevin M. Field?

Yep. If you knew him, you knew him to be a total piece of crap. I'm speaking ill of the dead, but there is no other way to put it. At least no nice way of putting it....

Although I didn't attend their church (I'm not Catholic), my wife and kids did. Our kids also went to the same schools. The guy was involved, but he was always an obnoxious jerk. Controlled his wife and always spoke poorly of his own children.

That is a gruesome story.

To answer your question, read "The Dead Beat: Lost Souls, Lucky Stiffs and the Perverse Pleasure of Obituaries", by Marilyn Johnson. Obituary writing is a lost art.

RIPster wrote:

Why do obits always sugar-coat everything? Aside from being a cowardly murderer, the guy was a tremendous A-hole for as long as anyone knew him.

They're not always sugar-coated:

Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears;

I come to bury Caesar, not to praise him;

The evil that men do lives after them,

The good is oft interred with their bones,

So let it be with Caesar...

So, in summary, obits are accurate when the deceased was truly an accomplished and good person. When the deceased was a horrible person, or behaved horribly, the obit may sugarcoat. This is not complicated.

I wrote the obituary for my wife's grandfather when he passed away at 96. I included his love of jazz, literature and politics. I wrote of his commitment to his family and public service. I hinted at his success in the business world.

The last line was not in the draft I had my in-laws approve. I was the line I added before sending it to the paper. It spoke of the stack of porn mags I found in his locked office desk in the basement. Some kinky ass shit for a 96 year old man. DAMN.

"...but most of all, Jackson loved his subscriptions to Busty, Spread Eagle, 18Juicy, CreamPie and Impossible Insertions."

happiermoreproductive wrote:The last line was not in the draft I had my in-laws approve. I was the line I added before sending it to the paper. It spoke of the stack of porn mags I found in his locked office desk in the basement. Some kinky ass shit for a 96 year old man. DAMN.

"...but most of all, Jackson loved his subscriptions to Busty, Spread Eagle, 18Juicy, CreamPie and Impossible Insertions."

If that's true, I heartily applaud you.

Not an obit, but I once attended a funeral where none of the speakers had anything particularly good to say about the deceased. The dead man was a family member who was really just not a nice guy. The eulogies were all just kind of like "he was alive, now he's dead, and that's that."

Kind of a weird thing to watch.

Yep. I went to a funeral of a guy who committed suicide and most of the speakers talked about how mad they were at him for killing himself and how selfish and short-sighted he was. Very odd and uncomfortable.

I'll say it again: Obits are paid for (if at all) by either the family or the funeral home as a part of their cost.

But they are written by a reporter! They are never written by the family unless otherwise noted. You're completely wrong.

You're right that a public figure's obituary is written by a reporter, but for ordinary people, the family normally writes the obituary, which I know from personal experience.

The one the OP is talking about was obviously written by the husband's family, not a reporter. A reporter would have talked about the circumstances of his death.