NRR: You've got 1-3 years to live, what do you do?

From observing people over 80 years old, I'd say a popular option would be to sit in recliner and watch FOX NEWS 18 hours a day. The other 6 hours would be spent watching the Weather Channel.

sitting in the hospital wrote:

Taking the lead from the richest person in the world thread...I am starting this guy. I have been diagnosed with a form of cancer that generally kills people within 1-3 years. There are cases where it goes into remission, but, it's very rare. So, excluding that possibility, what would do with the remaining time you have left? I can't just stop working and live out the next three months until it's all over. But, I can't pretend like this is a knee injury that will get better with time. How would you handle it?

Unless you are of or close to retiring age already, I say continue working and continue getting the treatments they can give you and hope for the best...ENVISION the best. As a story of inspiration, 9 years ago at the age of 61, my father was diagnosed with a rare and "incurable" blood cancer. His doctors put that bad boy into remission and he's now 70 and has been cancer free for almost 8 years. He's the first person EVER documented to have this cancer put into remission. YOU be the first for yours brother. Attitude DOES help. Not the time to give up brother.

I'd get out the old bucket list, if I were you. Anything that you've got on that sucker, you'd better start doing.

No, I am not near retirement. I am in my mid-30's. I am continuing to work for sure. Single income family and sole provider of insurance to a family of five. Thanks for the encouragement. I am being positive. It's challenging when the doctors tell you every time you go in, all the stuff we are doing will not cure you. But, there are a few people who have been cured. So, I have to take what the docs says realizing they are just trying to be honest and not mislead people into thinking treatment will necessarily mean cure. It's good to know, for all the insight science offers and stats help discern, sometimes, life doesn't play by the numbers.

1) Start watching some comedy on a regular basis - like, several hours per day. The laughter can be quite therapeutic.

2) Focus on your body 'rooting out and killing' the cells you don't want.

3) Reduce your intake of foods containing glutamic acid - starve the bastards.

Re food: I was on a super-strict diet before I started chemo. Was spending a ton of money in supplements and seem to slow it down a lot. I was not sure how much the alternative stuff would help. But, it proved to slow down progression. Once I get past the surgery I am going back to it. Figuring all the alternative stuff takes a lot to absorb and sort out. I am looking at using the Block Institute in Chicago to help get that part in line. Probably the 80/20 diet and a lot of antioxidants.

Family of 5? This seems like a no-brainer. Spend as much time as you can with your kids. Do memorable things with them; planned lazy days, quirky outings, anything out of the ordinary that will stand out in their memory of you if the worst happens.

Write stories about your life (running experiences, family history, a daily journal). Your kids will love having this information about you no matter how long you live.

Based on what I've experienced, focusing on the needs of others can get you through all sorts of rough experiences.

Hang in there, and best of luck with all of it.

Clauset Lover of Elves wrote:

Family of 5? This seems like a no-brainer. Spend as much time as you can with your kids. Do memorable things with them; planned lazy days, quirky outings, anything out of the ordinary that will stand out in their memory of you if the worst happens.

Write stories about your life (running experiences, family history, a daily journal). Your kids will love having this information about you no matter how long you live.

Based on what I've experienced, focusing on the needs of others can get you through all sorts of rough experiences.

Hang in there, and best of luck with all of it.

Good ideas. I've been trying to do a lot of that. Hard with regular treatments, but, it's a big part of my wife and my focus. (Not sure what the grammar on that last line should be.) I don't really have a bucket list. I've done most of what I want to do in my life. Only things left will never happen...mostly running related and only would have happened when I was younger if they were going to. It's just weird for a goal-oriented person to think, "I really don't have a lot of reason to come up with things to shoot for." What does a goal-oriented person become if goals (and their achievement) really don't matter much any more. I hope I can give the kids (and wife) enough good memories to stay in the hearts for a while after I am gone. The real pain is the thought of not being their after I am gone. I know it's gonna be hard on the wife. The kids however, need even more. A grown woman can understand the reality of things like this. Kids not so much.

Hi,

My dad died of cancer when I was 7 years old. Here are some of the things I remember:

- Him going out and playing baseball with me in the backyard, despite being sick as hell from the chemo.

- Riding on his shoulders when we'd be out at places.

- Helping him switch gears in his Volkswagen Rabbit.

- Turning on every blinker, windshield wiper, hazard flasher I could find in his car before he turned the car on....and him having the solitude to smile and turn them all off before heading out of the garage.

- Riding the Gold Rusher at Disney World and his hat flying off and him reaching back like lightning to catch it.

- The day he brought home two new baseball bats out of the blue for me and my sister.

- Hugging him as he walked in the door from work each day.

- Visiting him at the hospital and him still being able to laugh with us.

- He would wake up every day and do jumping jacks and stretch, and most days he'd go for a short run.

- The mammoth bowls of ice cream he'd eat as well as how easily an entire Oreo would fit in his mouth.

I could keep going...but you get the picture. He tried his hardest to not let his illness get to him. It's the little things I remember most.

Stay positive and full of vigor.

Sorry you lost your dad. And, it's good to read that. Thanks. My parents have it in their mind that we need to do big stuff, Disney World, Hawaii, etc. I agree that the little things are important. But, it's good to hear it from someone who has been there. Much appreciated for the responses.

I'm a 19 year old male. This thread made tears come to my eyes. I don't remember the last time I cried. If I knew my dad was going to die in the next 3 years I'd spend as much time with him as possible.

Good luck man.

My thoughts are with you. My mother, who is only 55, had her breast cancer come back in her spine after a year of remission, and she now has the same prognosis as you do. She is doing chemo to slow the growth, but it will inevitably spread to a vital organ. Best of luck with all of this--sorry no advice on what I would do, but stay tough!

Is there much research going on on your type of cancer? If you're up for it, you could try to get put on an experimental treatment. Of course there's always the chance of being put on the control, but it's better than nothing.

A professor at CMU gave a pretty good talk about this kind of thing. He had incurable pancreatic cancer and died a couple of years back.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ji5_MqicxSo

Ho Hum wrote:

Is there much research going on on your type of cancer? If you're up for it, you could try to get put on an experimental treatment. Of course there's always the chance of being put on the control, but it's better than nothing.

A professor at CMU gave a pretty good talk about this kind of thing. He had incurable pancreatic cancer and died a couple of years back.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ji5_MqicxSo

There is some research, not much, but, some of it shows promise. It's been an underdiagnosed form of cancer that is a subtype of two others. With 50 diagnoses a year (people who support families with it think it's really closer to 20 a year) there is no way to really study in large amounts. Plus, only two or three medical groups in the country study it. Once just dispenses known trials or therapies. The other at least actually throws out some new research. I have not yet read the Last Lecture, though I have heard of it. I have a hard time going there. Had enough of those kind of though processes. I might be in denial about that, yet, it's hard to start ordering my house, as they say. That's kind of what I mean. This guy had a couple of months. He knew where he was headed and didn't have to balance the "life as normal" routine with an unknown future. Not that facing death is easy, but, knowing it is coming soon makes it easier than being out there, in the dark, it would seem, just sitting and waiting.

sitting in the hospital wrote:

Sorry you lost your dad. And, it's good to read that. Thanks. My parents have it in their mind that we need to do big stuff, Disney World, Hawaii, etc. I agree that the little things are important. But, it's good to hear it from someone who has been there. Much appreciated for the responses.

My dad did something similar for me, though he did not die. When I was growing up he kept these little journals and once a week or so he would just write an entry about what we did that day, what I had been up to, the things he thought about, what he hoped for me, all that kind of stuff. When I turned 21 that was my present. Best present I have ever gotten, would not trade them for anything. IMO, that would be a great idea, but I am not in your situation so I do not know if it would be a good idea in your situation, something to think about I suppose.

Good luck man, really feel for you. Hope that they are able to figure something out, these things are just terrible and I don't even know the half of it I am sure.

I can't even believe this is real. That is such a horrible existence to have to live, having your imminent death hanging over you and your family at all times. I guess that is why cancer is one of the most awful diseases there is. I hope/pray/whatever that you make it through this and live many more happy years.

If you are a troll, I hope I am wrong about the nonexistence of hell and that you end up there soon for making light of such a horrible disease.

If you aren't a troll, refer back to the first paragraph.

Nope, not a troll. It definitely gives me a new appreciation for every day. But, that comes at a cost. Knowing I may not see my son go to first grade. Or, if I live long enough, to see my kids enter high school. Weird, little things I took for granted and didn't even think twice about are now just hopes, far off in the distance. But, if you think about it, there are lots of diseases that would suck. Imagine what Stephen Hawking has. Genius mind and a body that fades to nothingness. That would be horrendous too.

Not sure if this was mentioned yet but if I were to die within a short period of time, I would make sure to try sky-diving

wow....... wrote:

I'm a 19 year old male. This thread made tears come to my eyes. I don't remember the last time I cried. If I knew my dad was going to die in the next 3 years I'd spend as much time with him as possible.

Good luck man.

I'll be 59 next week and I also have tears in my eyes. Your situation brings back memories of my mom who died of lung cancer several years ago.

I don't have any great words of wisdom for you. There have been some nice ideas put forth already about writing,the little things, diet and whatever else you deemed to be important.

My thoughts focus more on staying positive for your wife and kids. If you can somehow train your mind (similar to what we runners do with our bodies) to always stay positive for them then I think they will always cherish your attitude, courage, and spirit. You will now have even a greater responsibility to impact their thoughts for a lifetime. Make the most of it. Embrace the challenge just as you would do for a race, even if it means you need to hire a "coach" to help you maintain positive thoughts for you and them.

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.