Christmas is Here, I am expected to chea ton my wife

Is "chea ton" some new dance move you kids are doing these days?

Say "I don't want to do this any more".

Done.

looker wrote:

Say "I don't want to do this any more".

Done.

Yeah, but I am scared that if I do that, she will see red. I feel like I am being blackmailed.

Tell her you're gay.

Do you have an unmarried brother you could introduce her to?

Do you have a pet rabbit?

Dude, if I were you, I would just ignore, ignore, ignore...let her move on to someone else. EVENTUALLY she will give it up. If you correspond to her in ANY way, you are keeping the hope alive. IF she decides to spill the beans, then you come clean with your wife, and you let her know that this was over years ago, you tell her that you've ignored this woman for years now, and that your love for her (your wife) is greater than ever. You then tell your wife what you told us...that you're an adult now and that she never has to worry that this kind of thing will happen again.

BUT, of course, you don't bring it up with your wife UNTIL this other woman does.

Well, what you say makes sense, but i don't want my wife to find out. To you it is a situation on a message board; to me it is my life.

I feel like if I ignore her, she will go all fatal attraction on me.

Go on medical forum and on investing forum/message board and ask the same question. Get back to us immediately with their advice, so we can act accordingly. I cant wait to see how this turns out!

What if you do it again, but progressively get worse and worse at it. Eventually she'll lose interest.

And I thought my family had odd holiday traditions.

tell her you got aids. tell her you got the herps. tell her you got genital warts. tell her that you are moving out of state.

tell her that one of your kids has been ill for months and you are being sent to specialists on [make up something awful and potentially fatal but that also could be nothing] so you need to be with your family and that this scare has made you realize your deep abiding love for your wife and family and that nothing should ever come between that again.

suggestions on diseases:

als. fatal if true. but it could just be guillain barre syndrome which is serious but often fades on its own after a couple of years. this way if she sees you with your 'no longer sick' kid you have the out.

multiple sclerosis. potentially fatal if true. the out is guillain barre again.

epilepsy. kids have seizures a lot. my nephew had some serious seizures when young, and went thru all kinds of test. he has not had a seizure in 10 years. no diagnosis ever.

leukemia. probably the most common type of childhood cancer. yes i know there are many types of leukemia. choose the least fatal one? then when she sees you with little timmy in a few years what a miracle it was that the treatments worked.

i know. i am a dick for even suggesting you stoop so low as to make light of serious diseases. you want this bitch off your back?

Whatever you do don't hook up with her this Christmas just to keep her quiet. It'll lead to more trouble down the road.

Let this be a lesson to those considering cheating. Your sins will find you out.

Two words: Three Way

Just watch this movie:

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0078199/

Oh wait, sounds like you already did.

2/10

i know im a dick, the original wrote:

tell her you got aids. tell her you got the herps. tell her you got genital warts.

Yep. Fake STD! Cannot fail.

6/10

Mr. Obvious wrote:

Two words: Three Way

Good one!

To the OP, I'm not one to post a number, but my troll alarm is sounding here.

Good advice above on lying. You could also try to convince her you're a born again. Say that you'll meet up with her and try to turn her toward the light.

Dude, if this is a troll, you are the most creative troll ever.

If you are not a troll, this is f*cked up, and though I understand it might not be for you, it is hilarious.