Dating and the frugal lifestyle??

By frugal do you mean no soap or deoderant?

you got this off of the yahoo or aol mail newsfeed...

Coffee date and a croissant. Or take her out for dessert. Putt putt can be a lot of fun, take a while, and not too pricey.

Google your town and things to do cheap/free. Here in boulder they have an outdoor movie every saturday night during the summer. Or look up if there are concerts/plays/movies/etc in the park. Is there an area of downtown to walk and window shop? Minor league baseball game tickets are usually $5 and most times you can bring in your own food (so call it a picnic).

My brother is the most frugal person I know. When he met his girlfriend he tested her and refused to pay for anything for two weeks. I recall they would meet after supper time & went to the local state park, rented movies from the library, free concerts/events, and lots of walks and talks. Two years later and they are in love. He still cooks rice & beans for supper and meets up with her after wards to save money.

Despite common belief not all women care if you spend money on them!

Be up front with your (potential) date regarding your financial situation so she doesn't assume you're cheap and classless, then be very creative.

I always loved guys who took me on *unique* dating adventures over the cheeseballs who tried to impress me with money.

Catfish wrote:

Be up front with your (potential) date regarding your financial situation so she doesn't assume you're cheap and classless, then be very creative.

I always loved guys who took me on *unique* dating adventures over the cheeseballs who tried to impress me with money.

THIS is a good answer, actually.

Sorry, but as a woman, it is just natural to think that if I guy doesn't take me for dinner (or serves me a can of beans...) I just assume that he doesn't find me worthy or that he is just stingy. As Ann Landers has wisely advised, a man stingy with his money is a man stingy with love. This is usually true.

But if you really think it out and plan creatively, it can more than make up for it. And I agree that it is a good idea to mention being out of money so then she can believe that she would be worthy of a nice meal if it were possible.

What's wrong with being cheap? Strained financial circumstances or not?

I usually split the dinner bills, etc. with my boyfriend.

Crafted in a jiffy wrote:

What's wrong with being cheap? Strained financial circumstances or not?

because it's all about her. Impress her, take her out to fine dining 3x a week, front row seats, buy her clothes and jewelry. Work a job making 6 figures so you can buy her a house, & Mercedes SUV, while she stays at home and shops and cheats on you with the neighbor who makes 7 figures.

This is the American woman's dream. Impress her.

Take her out on a run. Share one of your gels and offer your water when she gets thirsty. Plenty ways to be cheap on a date. Good luck, man.

When you begin a relationship you set a standard. If you go the wining and dining route, that will be the expectation. If you are honest and frugal, the right woman will appreciate that. Though, you can still be creative, kind, genuine.

Never do dinner. Why would you want her blood to be in her stomach? Try drinks at a cheapish bar or lounge - you can do a date for less than $30 for both of you. If you already really like the girl, you can put in more effort, and try more creative things, but most girls just aren't worth that. Dating is a numbers game, so you need to have some cheap dates you can use to develop attraction and filter the gold from the dross.

Try bouncing between different locations. Having a plan is good. Lead her around; be the one making the decisions. If she's a quality girl she won't care how much money you spend as long as being around you is interesting.

Ignore gold-digging whores like "Ben and Jerry's fatty" - or if you want to spend the money, pump and dump them mercilessly. They are the scum of the earth.

More here:

http://roissy.wordpress.com/2007/10/05/paying-for-dates/

Ben & Jerry Hottie wrote:

Sorry, but as a woman, it is just natural to think that if I guy doesn't take me for dinner (or serves me a can of beans...) I just assume that he doesn't find me worthy or that he is just stingy. As Ann Landers has wisely advised, a man stingy with his money is a man stingy with love. This is usually true.

If you are a "qualified applicant", it will be VERY apparent (within the first few minutes) that I am not "stingy" with love :) Conventional "dating" is fine for setting up a business arrangement, doing WHAT you love with WHO you love is beyond commodification.

'I just assume that he doesn't find me worthy or that he is just stingy'

I bet if the stingy guy was driving an Aston Martin & lived in a mansion you would take it though!

Here is all you need to know:

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/08/21/your-money/21money.html?_r=1&scp=1&sq=frugal%20dating&st=cse

How to Be Frugal and Still Be Asked on Dates

By RON LIEBER

Published: August 20, 2010

Saving may be making a comeback, but it still hasn’t gotten its sexy back, particularly if you’re a man.

Earlier this month, the Commerce Department reported that the personal savings rate in June was a much-improved 6.4 percent and that the number had risen as high as 8.2 percent in the depths of the stock market doldrums in the spring of 2009.

Those who are single may not have been rewarded for their parsimony, though. Now comes some survey data from ING Direct, the people who would like you to save more money in their online savings accounts. In June, the company asked 1,000 people which words would come to mind if someone was fixing them up on a blind date with someone described as frugal.

Just 3.7 percent answered “sexy,” while 15 percent picked “boring” and 27 percent chose “stingy.”

Anyone who urges better money habits on the masses for a living ought to be gravely offended by this, though Ramit Sethi, author of “I Will Teach You to Be Rich,” tried to take it in stride. “The term frugality has been so perverted that it now means ‘No, no, no’ to everyone, whether it’s shoes or lattes or travel,” he said. “I don’t think it’s the right word.”

.....

When I was single, I'd invite girls over and cook dinner for them all the time. You can make something really nice for not much money at all. It doesn't cost all that much more to cook for two than for one. Combine that with a walk, a free concert , a college or other amateur theater production, or some other low cost activity that requires you to think outside the box, and you've got a memorable date.

From time to time it's nice to splurge a little, but you shouldn't be breaking the bank every week.

Learn to cook. Even now my wife prefers to stay in and have me cook three or four courses and drink some excellent wine than to go out and spend a couple hundred bucks on so-so food and overpriced plonk. She says the reason she married me was the first breakfast I made for her when we were dating: I wasn't stingy on the bacon and the eggs were cooked perfectly.

Staying in and making dinner is so cheap and it is fun to cook together, have a nice dinner in your own home without all of the extra noise of a restaurant, and then clean up together. Or one person cooks, the other cleans, you both make dessert.

Another cheap date is to go on a scenic drive somewhere at dusk and stop somewhere to lay on the hood. Nothing better than that.

Most thing happening outside are cheap or free. Farmers markets, community movies like the OP mentioned, parks, hiking trails, etc. Even if you have to a pay a small fee to get in a state park it is cheaper than most dates and there are usually plenty of things to do for an entire day in the park.

Volunteer together at a race or somewhere else. You'll be surprised how much fun this can be.

If you are both runners go be a spectator at a high school cross country/track meet. Seeing a bunch of kids who are just beginning to learn is inspiring sometimes.

My boyfriend and I are both in grad school making next to nothing and we still manage to have fun and go on "dates". We don't need to spend a ton of money to be happy with each other.

Ben & Jerry Hottie wrote:

As Ann Landers has wisely advised, a man stingy with his money is a man stingy with love. This is usually true.