How you respond to parents pressuring you to get married and have children?

someone has to say it wrote:

i don't know how many relatives you have, but you could always start with your parents/siblings - be brutally honest. word will spread. if you keep dodging the question, 20 years down the road they will be pissed that you never got around to having kids and won't understand that you never intended to in the first place. if everyone else in your family gets married and has kids, they'll expect you to do the same without even realizing they shouldn't immediately expected it. the sooner you get it out, the more understanding there will be between both sides. and if they keep badgering you about it, then you have a precedent to start ducking family gatherings.

I think my parents dreams at this point in their lives is to see me married and with children. They are getting older and are in the years when I really wouldn't want to cause any unneeded stress. Simply telling them they will never see any grandchildren seems to me too blunt.

I'm not sure if you understand that once you have kids, that a lot of your freedom goes. Kids aren't like pets, unless you plan on letting some daycare raise them. Having kids should be more of a commitment than getting married.

Alert, Alert wrote:

Is there a way that I can have my cake and eat it too, or do I have to get married in order to have kids. Advice?

Are you serious? What, you think you can't impregnate a girl she's married to you? I'm pretty sure it'll happen regardless...

Guy:

"As soon as I get a girl pregnant."

Gal:

"As soon as some guy knocks me up."

Naw, don't loath family gatherings, instead, prepare yourself with a pat, quick answer that you repeat over and over again...

Oh my God, I totally forgot that I did not get married. Thank you for telling me! Now tell me, why are you fat, out of shape, nosey,and not getting any?"

Or, "My father told me as a kid that once you get married the sex stops, and you?"

Etc.

If you love kids and don't wanna get married, become kindergarden teacher.

Mr. Conundrum wrote:

A couple other points - prep YOUR PARENTS before a family gathering of your approach. Also talk to them about your feelings and your thoughts of avoiding gathering because of it. Explain that those comments reflect the opinion of the commenter that their life is better than yours.

At the party if after you indicate that those comments are unwarranted and the person persisits. Smile and move away.

Also remember, probably these people don't mean anything and are just making conversation so try to take it with some humor and don't get too upset.

I think the the first 2 paragraphs here are not needed.

Go straight to the 3rd paragraph. Don't worry about it.

Also, booze helps.

Logic and Clear Thinking wrote:

Naw, don't loath family gatherings, instead, prepare yourself with a pat, quick answer that you repeat over and over again...

Oh my God, I totally forgot that I did not get married. Thank you for telling me! Now tell me, why are you fat, out of shape, nosey,and not getting any?"

Or, "My father told me as a kid that once you get married the sex stops, and you?"

Etc.

THIS ^^^^

Took the words right out of my mouth.

Tell them you are in a serious relationship, but that she is married. You will get silence and no one will ask you the question ever ever again.

Turn around and ask them when they're going to die. Since they already have kids, the only big milestone they have left in life to look forward to is death, so ask them when they're going to kick the bucket.

I can't believe you just wasted my time with this question.

If this the worst of your problems, consider yourself fortunate.

Trying growing a sack. Tell them to _F_U_C_K__O_F_F_ and mind their own business.

At family gatherings I listen to my relatives, who have a family, and THANK GOD I DONT HAVE ONE. Your life turns into a nightmare when you marry and reproduce.

I am just going to get rich and have some fun. I am also going to run and take care of myself. I am not going to get fat and ugly like those family men do.

This is not a criticism or an insult, but being married is NOTHING compared to the time, energy and focus needed to raise kids. I just want you to know that before you decide to have kids.

When you get married, you're still your own person for the most part. Sure, you pay bills together and look out for each other, etc. But you can still do your own thing. Once you have kids, you are no longer your top priority. Not even close.

First, don't pay attention to that this guy wrote. He's confused. Second, tell your family that your gay...that will get them off your back.

Next time you go to a family function, get some of those "Hi my name is..." stick on name tags or something similar.

Write the following

"Hi my name is Larry. DO NOT ASK ME ABOUT MARRIAGE. I am single and like it. I have no kids and like it. "

OK I assume you're a runner since you're on this site.

When they ask you to make massive changes in your personal life, ask them when they are going to stope being a fat a$$ and lose 30 lbs and stop smoking/drinking/over eating.

"....ask them when they are going to stope being a fat a$$ and lose 30 lbs and stop smoking/drinking/over eating."

NEVER!

Show up to the next family function with your "close friend" Gary and "accidentally" leave a vasectomy certificate laying around conspicuously.