Possible Reasons My Track Workout Went Poorly Last Night

Ryan Hall envy?

I'm laughing my a$$ off you could have easily ran on my hs track team.

Oh you poor dollface. Tsk! Tsk! You should have listened to the eminenet wisdon of running gurus John B. and Jeff G. What in the world were you thinking? Were you really trying to FINISH YOUR WORKOUT without taking breaks in the middle and running with a COMPETITIVE mindset?

You do not need to run hard in your track workout or even finish them. Just showing up in your XXXL spandex with a Camelback and ipod makes you a WINNER.

Everybody is a winner and you are a winner. Congratulations to you on showing up for your workout yesterday. What a great testament to your character and courage. This is a moment you can cherish for the rest of your life. Your grandchildren will revel in pride at your amazing accomplishment. Good lord, man, pat yourself on the back. You did a one mile repetition with a concerted effort ON THE TRACK WITHOUT STOPPING!!

You have earned my deepest admiration and respect as an athlete and a human being. I will nominate you for ESPN sportsman of the year, Ryan Hall has nothing on you. He was just jogging around and celebrating his way and you ran so hard you maxed out. That's what real men are made of.

Maybe some day you will be fit to chew on Dean Karnazes soiled, unwashed lucky jockstrap he has had since he was 16 after running Badwater. Until then, may your life be as exalted as your running.

Eminenet? WTF is that? The wisdom of eminem?

SMJO wrote:

Eminenet? WTF is that? The wisdom of eminem?

Well, duh? Everybody KNOWS that it's the wisom of Eminem.

Dude -- you ran your warmup too fast.

The Haters?

You are a giant pussy.

nipple chafing blood loss resulted in early lactic acid build up

too much flouride in the water

didn\'t want to get sore

saving yourself for Zurich

too dark to read your 1/4 splits and Indiglo was down

too sore from yesterday\'s 15 mile tempo run

still getting over my cold/flu/hangover

Here are a few you may have overlooked:

- headwind

- improper pacing from tailwind

- low energy return from a gravel or dirt track

- leg hair

- arm hair

- time wasted starting and stopping your watch

Dude -- you ran your warmup too slow.

one of the sprinters dropped his guts on the backstraight

my coach swallowed his pea and as a result he had a whistle malfunction.

vaginitis

- Wardrobe malfunction

- Multiple Chemical Sensitivity to track surface

- Carpal Tunnel Syndrom from spankin' it to Fast-Women.com photos

The disappearance of family values

hippies

slavery

sun in your eyes

Early morning backache from sleeping on a too soft mattress.

Stupid hippy chick:

"Your rising Libra sign was interfering with the lunar house of Jupiter. Everything was astrologically f***ed for you last night if you were born before December 15th, 2002."

"Your red aura was overwhelming your blue aura because you are channeling Jerry Garcia instead of Steve Prefontaine. You would have been better off staying home and eating organic vegan tempeh burgers."

"Your Toyota Prius..."

Oh never mind.

your 'gina hurt.

yeast infection.

pms cramps.

you were wearing trainers, and face it, you're not Rexing.

you were still $hitting yourself over Ryan Hall's half marathon AR.