Disrespected by other athletes at my school. What do I do?

Go chill with the math dudes king

You need to be quick witted. You should have made fun of their respective inadequacies in a way that made them feel more insecure than you do right now.

Like..? What should I have said, specifically?

Are you seirous? I would've gotten beaten up...

You caring about what they said despite being a better athlete proves their point

0/10. I'll bite though. First, after graduation you probably will never see these people again. Second, get a great job and/or have money than your body composition won't matter. Top shelf females will be within reach, just don't be a Fat Fat Fatty and have at least a decent personality. Finally, chances are those kids in the math club will have a more successful life than anyone at the sports banquet.

I’m absolutely serious. You can’t get sht on and not react for fear of getting beat up.

The ol’ “the best revenge is living well” tactic.

Don’t listen to this loser bullsht. Stand up for yourself.

That is impossible to answer. You need to read a lot, immerse yourself in a variety of social situations, and then humor will come naturally.

It can't be forced.

Devastating ridicule comes from a reservoir of studied human behavior and a broad-based foundation in literarure or plays.

Do everything you can to get out of the 80s high school movie that you live in.

Remind them that as recently as 8000BC long distance runners had the most desirable genetics and were the ultimate alpha studs of their respective tribes. If they were born only a few millennia earlier they would be the ones getting laughed at.

The ability to run long distances (endurance) gave early human hunters the edge over larger and stronger animals who they could chase down and wear out before fighting. If you were part of the elite groups who chased down game, when you returned to the cave you got some “game” of your own. Early humans with stronger endurance had significant procreation rates to develop generations of endurance athletes, allowing their tribes to turn large predators into prey and ensure their continued survival as a species.

Around 8000BC humanity entered the Neolithic period, marking the shift from hunter-gatherer lifestyles to agriculture and settled communities. Gone were the days of hunting down woolly mammoths; Neolithic period humans needed to lift, push, pull, etc. to ensure their tribe’s survival. This marked a shift in preferred genetics. Humans with stronger muscles became more desirable than those with endurance.

Remind these football and basketball chads that they just barely missed a timeline where they would be incels and beta-males.

I'm sorry to hear that the football players at a University in San Antonio are so mean. Maybe your coach can give you a massage and make you feel better.

Sounds like a dream you had. Did you try waking up?

So?

The vastly more pathetic aspect of this is that it didn't happen and you felt like lying and making up a fake story so that people you've never met on the Internet respond to you.

That you will give them their mother's panties to return - and that you want your money back.

If you don't run in college learn to throw a disc and join an intramural ultimate frisbee team. You'll be a total badass.