A few things that have worked for me:
1. Drive your Lincoln Continental. The bench seats in the front are good for making out.
2. Have a snack late afternoon. You're used to eating dinner at 4:30. If you don't eat until 7 or whatever crazy time the tyke wants dinner, you'll be famished.
3. Eat outside. This way you can wear a beanie that hides your hearing aids.
4. Find a way to mention your ability to calculate compound interest.
5. Make lots of references to how good the original SNL cast was.
6. If a Chicago song comes on, show your sensitive side by saying how traumatized you were by Terry Kath's death.
7. Just call it a phone. "Cell phone" is a giveaway.