Turning 36 next month. I feel I'm at a critical juncture in life.

If you're a man it's not now or never.

Go for age-graded PRs, do well in your career, volunteer once in a while, travel the world, and enjoy your hobbies.

Are you Casey Clinger?

I turned 37 last week and had the same conversation with my parents. Any partner would have to be younger.

The thing is, I feel and look much younger than my age. I weigh the same as I did in high school - about 135 lbs.

I spent years sat indoors just playing computer games or playing guitar.

Same , sometimes I'll wake up in the middle of the night in a panic attack because I haven't had kids or settled down much at 37. I have no solution for it. It's like COVID f'ed up my time sense. At the start of COVID, in my mind, I had just turned 30 more or less, is wasn't in a rush. Now fast forward and I'm 37, all in the literal blink of an eye.

I have friends my age who have full families, large 1m dollar homes, super fulfilling lives and other friends who lives in their parents house playing video games all day. I justify myself by considering that I fall somewhere in the middle between them

When I was 36 - 37, couldn't care less. I just had a strange feeling everything would work out. At age 42, and my wife was turning 44, we had twins. That was 14 years ago. Life is great. I'm fit, compete in masters track, fun career, decent home, travel; no concerns. Now set to help assist with coaching for high school xc country/track in fall as they enter high school. No guarantees in life, but feels like next 50 years will be an adventure. Stay open and positive!

What's so stressful? Just keep working those cam girls, one is bound to say yes to marriage and family with you.

You could hook up with a 24+ year old and stay within the half your age+ seven rule. But you really are at a point where it's now or never, you dont want to be that 45 year old guy with an infant. No 50 years old needs to be spending their time going to elementary school stuff unless it's to see your grandkids.

Don't follow the "life script" of marriage and kids. It's highly overrated. I'm in my late 30s, and my same-age peers who have kids are constantly stressed, broke, and out of time even though they make more than I do.

For me, life is good. I'm on track to retire by my early 50s, my house is almost paid off, and I've gone on tons of adventures like rafting down the Grand Canyon, mountaineering in the Alps, and riding camels in Australia. On days when I just want to relax, I know that I can have uninterrupted sleep and no disturbances when I'm reading or just aimlessly watching TV. As long as I have enough money in the bank and the product or service I'm buying is legal, I don't need to justify my purchases to anyone.

Break free, never settle, and live your life.

Nah don’t worry about it. Plenty of time to figure all of that out.

Im the opposite, kids and married in my early 20s but same age as you. Plenty of people I know are just getting started with the family life at 40-45.

The worst thing you could do is start having kids with the wrong person. Avoid that

And as the guy above said, being mid 30s with kids, wife, mortgage, youth sports, all the bullshift does equal broke/ strict budget and lots of stress!!!!

love my kids but man it would be nice to not have my weekends planned to the hour or know my calendar 6 months in advance.

I'm in my late 50's and the people I know that are the happiest had their kids early. So yeah man you're in the thick of it now, but you will be young when your kids are gone and out of the house.

You may suffer for it now, but it pays off big on the back end.

Here we are again. For how many years have you voiced this dilemma and, yet, never seem to take actions to improve your lot in life?

First thing, how long have you been stuck in this rut? You have been playing the lonely card for over a decade and it’s always the same story. How have you not grown? How have you avoided serious introspection? Why are you doing the same old things (political posting, drinking, chasing validation through running, feckless attitudes, comparison) when those activities clearly don’t make you any happier? If you cannot break those habits nor find self-happiness or self-love, then you cannot create those for others. Kids? Do you feel that you would be a positive and loving role model for them?

The problem is, and always has been, YOU! Not society. Not women being too selective. Not your mayor or your governor. Those are all cheap and easy excuses used to guard your ego from the real culprits: depression, possible alcoholism, and a lack of self-esteem. Until you fix those, this story is going to keep repeating on a loop until you leave this Earth.

What can you do to improve yourself? You really need to address this! Stop living vicariously as a billionaire fan boy. Stop listening to podcasts, watching YouTube videos, and reading books that simply confirm all of your biases and faulty assumptions. If you want to play the long game, then get into some intensive therapy while embracing sobriety. Looking for a hack to jumpstart that healing? Then get down to Central America for an ayahuasca or psilocybin retreat. I’ve seen people in my life partake and return a week later with vastly improved mental health and no desire to drink or toke any longer.

That’s my advice. Do with it as you please. At the very least, examine why you behave as you do and why you believe the things that you do. Determine if it makes you happy or truly enriches your life and wellbeing? You may very well be giving off an uninviting and uninspiring vibe simply by how you think, what you consume, and how you carry yourself. Loneliness is most often the consequence of outwardly manifesting depression and low self-worth.

Nice to hear.

Interesting this thread comes up because I turn 37 in a couple months and have been very strongly feeling the same feelings and having the same thoughts. From age 20 through my early 30s I had this subconscious feeling like there was always more time, no big deal if something didn't work out, whatever. Around the age of 35 I started realizing in a big way time is limited, I'm getting older, the dating pool is shrinking to almost nothing (in terms of women who would make good long term partners), and this needs to happen soon if it's going to happen at all.

While I recognize guys can and do sometimes have kids in their mid 40s, I don't want to have my first child at 45. Knowing that sometimes it can take 2 years or more to fully vet a person in terms of who their truly are, it makes me feel quite stressed about the whole thing. I could easily see it happening where I date someone for a year only to find out they aren't wife material, then date around for a few months, then do the same thing again and end up single at 40.

What also kind of stinks about this is that my life is actually going super well in all other areas. On paper, I am highly desirable, and while I do attract a lot of women's attention, women my age are past their prime in looks and often either have mental issues or kids from a previous marriage, but then younger women are just not on the same level of maturity, and I often feel like a deep connection with them isn't really possible. The whole thing makes me think back to one relationship I had about 6 years ago and how I wish it would have stuck.

Anyway, I don't have any answers, but you're not alone in this!

The juncture isn't critical if there continues to be zero action and rigid adherence to the status quo.

Visit your friend in Ohio