At the local running store, I won’t say which one, and a girl walked in as I was perusing the caffeine free energy gel section in the back (side note- I DO use gels during my marathons because of the wall {for you hobbyjoggers it’s where your body runs out of glycogen} but I refuse to use any gels with caffeine as it is doping.)
Anyways this blonde comes in, and she’s all that, bubbly, gorgeous, says she’s new to running and looking for a fast shoe, the dimwit behind the counter immediately hands her the biggest carbon plated foamed up shoe that he can find, and after some small talk she’s about to check out.
”You…You can’t buy those!!” I emerged from behind the racks spilling my hot gu all over my pants (it was warm because I was trying it out and it spilled everywhere. Don’t be gross)
Blondie blinked at me “uhh what?” She says.
I adjust my glasses and tell her matter of factly: “you can’t buy those shoes because they are BANNED. they are ILLEGAL RACING SHOES. The stack height is 40.6milimeters which is too large. You need a shorter stack height.”
I proffered her a pair of New Balance minimus
”Try THESE.” I say. “I ran all my best trail ‘thons in these.”
blondie is embarrassed.
”Oh, I didn’t know, I just thought they were comfy I guess. I was planning on wearing them at a local 5k.”
“Which one?” I asked
”It’s called parkrun I think…” she said
I turn purple.
”GET OUT!!!! HOBBYJOGGER!! OUT OUT OUT!!” I shriek and she leaves without buying anything.
another runner saved from an illegal stack height, no need to thank me. Now I just need to wash the Gu outta my pants